'AITA for telling my brother he betrayed mom so why would he get half of everything?'
"AITA for telling my brother he betrayed mom so why would he get half of everything?"
Suspicious-Round3708
My mom died a few months ago and she left my brother (40s) some money but I (40sf) got most of what she owned.
Some background to explain why mom did this and why my brother is angry:
My mom was an only child for 16 years and she always wanted to get involved in her dad's business. But he didn't want a girl/woman taking over the family business. He was determined to have a son one way or another and even though mom was prepared to leave school and work for him.
By the time her brother came along he made it very clear that even if there was no son he would never let her work for him and take over one day. He would rather see the business close. This destroyed my mom. She loved her parents and felt so rejected.
Mom's dad didn't get his way, however, because her brother wanted nothing to do with the business and refused to even work for him let alone take over. My mom was estranged from her dad for many years because her dad made it painfully clear to her that he didn't value a daughter and never would so mom stepped back.
But when he heard mom had a son he reached out and when that didn't work he waited until my brother was 18 and he offered him a job and the chance to run the family business.
My mom was shocked and my brother told her she better not tell him not to accept because he didn't like the fact she kept us from our grandfather and prevented him running the business with the estrangement.
Mom and him had a talk, she said she did not want him to grow up with the same disregard for women as her dad. He basically told her to go and f herself and he went to work for her dad.
Years passed and he regretted the strain between him and mom and dad was disgusted with him too. He reached out after dad died and apologized and told mom he loved her. But things were never the same and he talked about her dad like he was some amazing hero of a guy. Which was so difficult for my mom.
So apparently when mom had her will made, she decided that I should get the most and my brother should get something but not an equal share given he had the business and seemed perfectly okay with her being shut out of it for being born the wrong sex.
My brother is hurt and angry about this now that she's gone. He asked me how she could've done this and why I'm not angry. I told him he betrayed mom so why would he get half.
He tried to say he didn't but I told him he went to work for her dad anyway and then basically told her to go f herself and even when they reconciled he acted like the father who treated her like garbage was some amazing person who needed his praises sang all the time. He said I was being vicious towards him for no real reason. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
SolitaryTeaParty
NTA. He’s not entitled to more than your mom decided to leave him, and considering the state of the relationship and how he insisted on praising a man who mistreated her, it’s pure generosity on her part that she left him anything.
Or maybe because certain areas have laws that you can’t sue for more of the estate if you were left a certain portion. RIP to your mom. I hope your brother can one day realize how much his actions hurt her.
andromache97
NTA. Ask him where your half of the so-called family business is. All feelings and emotional considerations aside, it's arguably fair and logical for your mother to be more generous toward you in the inheritance from her to make up for the lack of fairness and inequity in bro getting the family business and you getting nothing.
armomo3
NTA. You told him the truth. He didn't like the truth. Doesn't make it any less the truth. Is he planning on giving you half the business your grandfather gave him? Doubtful. That's why she left it to you. Because she got NOTHING from your grandfather and your brother got everything.
I'd also point out to him that your grandfather also left you NOTHING. Does he have children? Hope he doesn't have daughters. Can only imagine how he treats them as well as his wife.
Character-Device-514
Nta even if he didn't do everything you described in the post and she arbitrarily gave you more than him it was your mother's wishes and both of you should honor them.
It's just a special bonus your brother is a jerk and turned his back on her and not only turned his back on her which I'm sure was painful enough for her he ran to the one person your mother hated the most (hate used for lack of a better descriptor).
WillLoveCoffee4Ever1
NTA! Your brother decided to take a position from your grandfather, not realizing Grandpa did this out of spite. Your brother chose him over his own mother and I bet he was satisfied breaking up the family that way. Your mother had every right to do as she wished with her money and property in her will, because it was hers to do as she liked.
The fact your brother is angry and hurt, only tells me, he's nothing more than an overgrown spoiled brat who thinks he deserves everything and anything that can be handed to him. He treated your mother like garbage. Now it's your turn to tell him to do, what he told your poor mother to do years ago.