'AITA for telling my fiancé this is child support, not GoFundMe? If his baby mama wants more, she can take it up with the court.' + UPDATE
"AITA for telling my fiancé this is child support, not GoFundMe? If his baby mama wants more, she can take it up with the court."
Before we dive in, I just want to say: Charlotte, I adore you. I hope you and Mike have the wedding of your dreams — stress-free, and filled with love, cake, and all the Pinterest magic your heart desires. And to all my fellow potatoes out there: grab a snack, because this one’s spicy.
Okay, so — welcome to my telenovela. I’m still unsure if I’m the villain in this season or just the only one with common sense, a backbone, and a working moral compass. So, here’s the cast:
- My fiancé who has an 8-year-old son from a previous relationship.
- We have two babies together — ages 3 and 1.
- His ex? Picture a reality show contestant who didn’t make it past the auditions because she started cussing out the producers. Loud. Ghetto fabulous. Zero filter. But I stayed out of it — mostly because she lives in another state, and their son only visits on school vacations. But then came The Phone Call.
I walk in the house and my man is mid-argument with her because he couldn’t last-minute drop everything to go pick up their son — she had a concert in another state and wanted him to magically clone himself, apparently. Typical chaos. But then she says:
“You got time to take your (r-word) son to speech therapy but can’t pick up your normal child?” ...Y’all.
Y’ALL.
My son is autistic. I’m a first-time neurodivergent mom, and that comment hit me like a truck going 90. I looked at my fiancé — waiting for him to say something, anything. But baby boy was on mute. So I snatched that phone like a Dominican auntie pulling a chancleta and I WENT OFF.
And instead of backing down? She went full evil Disney villain. Mocked my son for not speaking. Wished death on my 1-year-old daughter (who, by the way, has a heart defect). Accused us of living off my parents — ma’am, that’s their money, not mine. We both have jobs, thanks.
Then, to top it all off like a rotten cherry on a spoiled sundae, she said she’d spit on my fiancé’s dead mom’s grave. Oh, and she started sending pictures of herself like it was a beauty pageant? Sweetie, bless your heart. But no.
Now, arguing isn’t my thing — especially not in English (second language vibes). So I did what any woman with gas in the tank, righteous fury, and a Dominican mom as backup would do:
I started driving the 2.5 hours to her house. My phone was going off. My fiancé. His messy sister (that’s its own novella). They’re all calling, talking about I’m bullying her. Ma’am, I haven’t even arrived yet.
Eventually I pulled over and had a long talk with my fiancé. I asked how she knew about my daughter’s health, our finances, all our business. Turns out, it wasn’t him — it was his sister, aka the family TMZ. She’s been running her mouth to the baby mama every time he vented. Ain’t that cute? So here’s where I might be the villain.
I told him enough is enough. He needed to:
- Take her to court.
- Let the system set child support.
- Stop airing our laundry to his messy sister.
- And until boundaries are set, their child was not allowed in our home.
Because guess what? My house is not a war zone, and my kids don’t need to grow up watching their mom get disrespected by someone who thinks comparing children is okay.
Months later — court happened. The child support amount? Way less than what he was giving her. And now she’s mad. She keeps calling, saying the court amount isn’t enough and he should still send her more.
He sends his son money if he needs food or asks for something, which is fine — I’m not heartless. But I told him: no more extra money to her. Not when she disrespects our family like that.
Not when she talks about my children like they’re beneath hers. Not happening. And now I’m wondering…AITA? For putting my foot down? For protecting my peace and my babies’ peace? For refusing to let guilt trip wires come through Cash App?
Some days I feel like the hero in this story. Other days I feel guilty, like maybe I’m punishing the child for the sins of his mother. But at what point do you stop letting someone slap you just because they gave birth to your fiancé’s child? Be honest. AITA?
The OP then returned with an update.
Because ya girl is tired of the broken telephone game and missing context. Before I get into the update, I just want to take a second to thank my real ones. To every person who sent kind words, encouragement, or just said, “girl, I would’ve done the same thing”—bless you.
You are the reason I didn’t throw my phone into the ocean. To all the moms raising neurodivergent kiddos: y’all are superheroes with messy buns and unmatched patience.
I see you. I’m one of you. And to my internet aunties who said, “say the word and we’ll go jump her together”? I’m not saying we should, but I know who’s riding shotgun if it ever comes to that.
Y’all had my back like high-waisted leggings and I appreciate you more than a solo trip to Target with no kids. Thank you for reminding me that setting boundaries doesn’t make you evil—it makes you grown. Love you forever.
First of all — and I mean this with my whole chest — the kids are and will always be the priority. ALL of them. My children, his son, our family as a whole. No one’s being iced out, no one’s being pushed aside, and the last thing I’d ever do is punish a child for adult drama.
Me and his son have had conversations over the phone after that and his dad as seen him just over where he lives due to school schedules.
Let’s clear the air:
my stepson was NEVER banned from our home. What happened was back in January, in the middle of chaos with his mom, I said, “Until boundaries are in place and things are handled the right way, let’s pause him coming into our home.”
That’s it. It wasn’t permanent. It wasn’t a punishment. I just wanted to make sure that by the time his school break came around — when he’s actually scheduled to come over — everything was calm, respectful, and structured.
Now, about visitation — he doesn’t live in-state. His mom moved him hours away, no job, no real plan, just vibes and a free place to stay. That move was out of spite, especially since she already had a home here.
During that time, my fiancé (who some people love to drag like he’s not doing his best) drove two hours every other week, picked his son up, kept him for two weeks at a time, and then drove him all the way back — while still paying weekly child support even though it was 50/50 custody. Make it make sense, because I can’t.
Once school started, the visits naturally became school breaks and holidays. My fiancé has offered to take him more often even permanently but she never agrees. Not because she’s concerned about safety, but because if the child spends more time with us… well, that affects the child support. You see where I’m going with this?
Now for the grand finale — the PS5 Saga of 2025.
Yesterday she calls him up talking about, “His PS5 broke. You need to go half on a new one.” He asked why, considering he bought the last one (and a bunch of other stuff) for Christmas.
Long story short: turns out there was a domestic dispute at her girlfriend’s house (yes, the child was there), the police were called, and everyone got kicked out. Guess who left the PS5 behind? Guess what she told the police? And guess what they told her? Yep — take it to court because she couldn’t prove ownership.
Now suddenly, it’s “He can’t be without one — you HAVE to help!” Ma’am. That’s not a child expense. That’s a you-chose-violence-on-someone-else’s-property issue. And trust me, this ain’t the first wild story she’s spun to get some extra coins. The problem is not the child. It’s never been.
This is exactly why I said we needed to get boundaries and court orders in place. It wasn’t for drama, it was for clarity. I don’t do chaos. I didn’t grow up in a household where screaming and disrespect was normal — I come from a family where you sit down, talk it out, and act like grown-ups. All I ever asked for was that: respect, order, and peace — for everyone involved, including her son.
My fiancé is learning how to deal with things differently. He’s working through his own past and trying to be better — for all his children. That’s the whole goal here: growth, structure, and peace.
So please… save the “evil stepmom” storyline for Disney. I’m just a woman setting some damn boundaries and asking grown folks to act like grown folks. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Good for you protecting your kids and peace. And beside the baby mom started it who wishes I'll on a child that is just so evil. Kick butt lady I was proud of you.
What is your husband gonna do about his big mouth sister? She's the reason the ex called your child the R word after he vented to her. Doesn't he have any friends?
Prior_Television6114 (OP)
We’ve dealt with her already she was completely cut off from his life after telling him that he was choosing me and his other kids over his real family “her”😭
The driving to her house was unhinged, but all the boundaries you set up were more than valid. NTA. She f’d around and found out, and it sucks for her kid but with a mom that calls children r words he’s going to be punished for being her son no matter what you do.
Prior_Television6114 (OP)
lol yea! I feel bad for him because now she’s being petty and letting him come around or even talk on the phone with dad as often telling him that he doesn’t want it and other crazy things. It’s just a very sad situation.