'AITA for telling my mom about my dad's weaponized incompetence?' 'She's in debt.'
"AITA for telling my mom about my dad's weaponized incompetence?"
I (18F) do all the shopping in the house. Its been my job since I was like 12. My dad hates going shopping so I never ask him. For Christmas, I am cooking. I had a very specific grocery list because I'm making things that I havent made before. My parents didn’t let me go shopping yesterday so I had to go today.
My dad said he would grab certain things to help me out and I said okay. I gave him a list. I really needed chicken thighs and blocks of cheese. He came home with ground chicken and only mozzarella cheese thats pre-shredded.
I told my mom about it because this isn’t the first time he's done this and its made me upset. She got mad at me for being upset with him, because we never ask him for anything. I have asked him multiple times to get things for me and he either gets the wrong thing, doesn’t get anything I need, or complains.
For example, I wanted to go shopping before my wisdom tooth removal. I had a list of things with pictures because he said he could grab it and certain brands make me sick. He got 4/20 things on the list and said everything else was not necessary. He went with my money and said that.
Now my mom's upset with me because she is in debt from always buying stuff for the house. But the whole reason that’s happened is because of my dad's weaponized incompetence. So am I the ahole for being mad at me dad and telling my mom?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
AddressPowerful516 said:
NTA. You have been doing the grocery shopping since you were 12?! While this isn't a bad skill why aren't your parents involved? Why is your mom allowing your dad to be completely incompetent on this?
You gave him your money and did he even give any back? You'd be better off getting an insta cart shopper at this point or doing a curbside pickup. Make some crap meal and when asked just say it's what Dad got, despite the very detailed list he was given.
WhereWeretheAdults said:
NTA. You have been shopping for the house since you were 12? Wow, your parents are terrible. Both of them. Dad may be weaponizing his incompetence, mom just straight up dumped her adult responsibilities on a 12 year old.
MassivePlatypuss69 said:
NTA and the only way for you to actually solve your problem is to kick up a big fuss and get both your parents to get mad plus feel shame. Your dad for being a lazy asshole and your mom for being an enabler. Your parents are banking on this blowing over so they can continue coasting by to make you do the work.
MidiReader said:
NTA, and in future he does not get a penny until he delivers. And if it’s not the right stuff, oh well, not your problem.
AwaySecret6609 said:
ESH. You all know that there are a lot of grocery stores that do the shopping for you. All you have to do is drive up and pick it up, right? I know Walmart and several other bigger stores offer that service.
Heck, a lot of them do delivery as well. If you believe that your father is weaponizing incompetence (which is a phrase I absolutely hate), then there is a clear work around for that situation. If you need specific items, then you order them online, pay, and all he has to do is pick them up.
Outrageous_Yak_3983 said:
Make the recipe with the ground chicken and serve the resulting mess to your dad for dinner