'AITA for telling my mom it wasn't cute or funny to dress me as a hot dog instead of a princess?'
"AITA for telling my mom it wasn't cute or funny to dress me as a hot dog instead of a princess?"
So there's this new Target commercial going around where a little girl dresses as a hot dog, and it came on while my family was watching a scary movie. I (20F) am home from college for the weekend and brought my boyfriend, and my mother (57F) decided it would be hilarious to mention that she'd made me a hot dog costume as a kid.
Except, the way she told the story, it was my request. She said that all the girls wanted to be Disney princesses, but I had asked to be a hot dog, and so she'd gone out of her way to make me that costume.
This is not what happened, and I said as much. What actually happened is that I wanted to be Snow White, and had told everyone, including the teachers, that I was going to be Snow White. I was obsessed with that movie as a kid, to the point where I would actually get invested in doing chores because I was cleaning up just like Snow White.
My dad and I would watch that movie all the time, and I was very excited to be Snow White for Halloween, especially because my ballet studio was doing a special "princess dance," for Halloween and we'd all signed up for special princess slots, and I'd shown up early with my dad the week before so I could get to be Snow White.
My mother decided that she wanted to be quirky and that Snow White was a bad role model after I got in trouble for trying to cook dinner for my family. I was about eight, and I tried to make hot dogs, like how she made food for the dwarves in the movie, and I made a mess.
My mom "surprised" me on the day of with this crappy hot dog suit, and told me if I didn't wear it she'd never let me watch Snow White again. She took a million pictures, the other girls teased me for months, and it was one of the most humiliating moments of my childhood.
I told the real story, and mentioned that I got through the day by pretending that she was the evil queen making me dress in rags, but the rags happened to be a garbage meat costume.
She got really quiet after that, and after we left, my brother says she was crying and looking at the pictures from that Halloween. I didn't want to make my mom cry, but it's a terrible memory for me and it felt like she was trying to humiliate me all over again in front of my boyfriend.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
NTA Wow, what a terrible move by your mom and to an eight year old. I’m glad you told the truth and stood up for yourself. I hope she learns, jeez what a witch. I’m sorry that happened.
ThrowRAhalloweendred (OP)
I hadn't thought about it in ages until I saw that commercial honestly.
How do the pics look? Like now looking at the pics can she tell you were miserable????
Letting your parents pretend that everything they did was perfect is a terrible way to approach your adult parent-child relationship. We (the parents) need to hear about this to reconcile our self image with who we were to you (the children).
My own parents are still pretty crappy about admitting to the past. Denial is an addictive drug so I don’t really bother anymore. However, I make a point of telling my kid that I probably messed up plenty. I’ve asked him to tell me about it when those memories come up for him.
We’ve had a couple of hard (painful) conversations about times I’ve hurt him. They’re important for him to get out there. It’s cathartic to say it out loud. I sincerely believe that it helps heal our inner child when our parents affirm our version of memories and soothe our hurts.
NTA. She clearly had a different perspective and you set her straight. Just because someone cries doesn't mean they're the victim in this. Especially if the truth is that not only did you not want to wear the hot dog, but she threatened your favorite movie as a result?
Wear this or else? Like WTF. If this is true, it's pretty weird and messed up. I'd never force a costume on my child. That's such a weird ass thing to do.
ThrowRAhalloweendred (OP)
She HATED Snow White. And Cinderella and Aurora. She was kind of okay with Belle, and really pushed Mulan and Merida on me, but those weren't the ones I was interested in.
She generally hated everything I liked, and was really into the whole "Cinderella ate my daughter" thing. She wanted us to be allies against the other moms of the town we lived in, and I just wanted her to be like the other moms honestly because they were nicer.
Six months later, the OP returned with an update.
Hi everyone! First off, I wanted to give a big thank you to all the people who reached out with kindness back in October. I was struggling a lot with whether I'd done the right thing, and getting such an overwhelming consensus definitely helped me feel better.
There wasn't actually that much fallout from the whole situation, and I kind of forgot about it for a few months. My mom was a little awkward the next few times we saw each other, but that was all back to normal by Christmas.
It didn't destroy our relationship, and I realized that a lot of my fears were just anxiety and overthinking clouding my mind. My brother made a few snide remarks, but I didn't get or give an apology and I figured that was that.
However-- last weekend my mom picked me up from work, and took me to her place, saying she had a surprise and I should shower and do my hair fancy. She had all the nicest skincare and hair stuff laid out, which means a lot because she's never been into that stuff, and when I was done, she surprised me with the most GORGEOUS Snow White dress I've ever seen.
It is genuinely stunning quality and I couldn't believe it was actually for me. She was all dressed up as the Wicked Queen too, with the cowl and everything, and she took me to see the new Snow White movie together.
When I tell you I almost cried, I'm not exaggerating. It was one of the best days I've ever had with her, and I felt like a legit princess. When little girls came up and asked for pictures, I swear, I've never enjoyed anything that much. I might actually try and get a job as a party princess if I can swing it, just because of how great this experience was.
After the movie (which btw is better than most people are saying, I hated the new love interest but Rachel killed it!) she apologized for not taking my feelings into consideration when I was younger, and explained that she has always wanted me to feel like I could be anyone I wanted to be, and didn't have to conform.
But what she did ended up being a form of formed conformation itself, and if I want to be a princess, she's going to do her best to help me feel like the best princess in the world.
She did explain that the hot dog costume wasn't meant to be a punishment-- she honestly thought I'd think it was funny-- but that she should never have gone that far without making sure I liked it, and she didn't actually ever intend to take Snow White away. I believe this. She seems truly apologetic, and I told her that she is 200% forgiven.
So, things are good! I'm glad I spoke up when I did, and I think my mom and I are gonna be closer now, honestly. She's a good person and I'm really grateful to have a mother like her. Thank you!
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Aww this is such a wholesome update, I'm genuinely happy for you! Honestly, it’s so cute to see how your mom came through with the Snow White dress after all that. Props to her for realizing where she went wrong and putting in the effort to make it up in such a sweet way.
It’s like the redemption arc we all need. And wow, the way you’ve gone from hot dog costume trauma to actual princess vibes?? I’m loving this glow-up. Honestly, it sounds like you’re gonna be a top-tier party princess if you decide to go for it.
That’s a character arc Disney wishes they wrote. Mom leveled up big time, and honestly? That whole princess day sounds like pure magic.
ThrowRAhalloweendred (OP)
Honestly it was! I thought I was too old to ever really feel like a princess, but I guess it's not so rough after all!
Wow, this actually made me a little emotional to read. I remember your original post and felt so bad for younger you—but this update?? Your mom really showed up for you in the best way possible.
The fact that she took the time to plan something so thoughtful, down to the skincare and getting dressed up herself, says a lot about how much she cares—and how much she heard you. That’s not a small thing. A lot of people get defensive or dismissive when confronted with stuff from the past, but she clearly took it to heart.
Also… showing up as the Wicked Queen? ICONIC. That’s apology-level theater. And you in a Snow White dress getting asked for pics by little kids? I’m not even there and I want to cry. This is such a cool reminder that people can grow, and relationships can actually get stronger when you speak up—even if it’s uncomfortable. So happy for you both.