'AITA for telling my coworker I don’t want to hang out outside of work anymore?' 'She kept criticizing my lifestyle.'
"AITA for telling my coworker I don’t want to hang out outside of work anymore after she kept criticizing my lifestyle?"
I (28M) work at a tech company, and I’ve been close with one of my coworkers, Emily (26F), for about a year. We’ve gone out for drinks after work, hung out during lunch breaks, and shared a lot of personal things with each other. Recently, however, I’ve started to feel like Emily has been overly critical of my lifestyle choices.
I’m someone who likes to keep things pretty low-key. I don’t go out partying often, I prefer quiet nights at home, and I don’t spend a lot of money on things like eating out or buying new clothes. Emily, on the other hand, is always talking about her weekend plans—going to expensive clubs, trying out fancy restaurants, and buying the latest trends.
While I don’t judge her for her choices, she has started making comments like, “I don’t know how you can live like that” or “How do you survive without having fun?” At first, I laughed it off, but after a while, it started bothering me.
One day, after she made another comment about how “boring” my weekends are, I snapped and told her I didn’t want to hear about it anymore. I said I respected her choices, but I felt like she was constantly undermining mine.
She was really hurt, and now things feel awkward at work. She’s been distant, and some of our mutual colleagues have said I overreacted. They think I should’ve just let her talk about her lifestyle without taking offense. I still feel like I was in the right to set boundaries, but now I’m wondering if I could’ve handled it better. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
shammy_dammy said:
NTA. She's hurt? She CAN talk about HER lifestyle without you taking offense, but that's not what she's doing. She's talking about YOUR lifestyle in an offensive manner.
Maleficent-Pin4791 said:
NTA, but this is why you shouldn’t hang out with coworkers outside of work and should spend time with people who have common interests instead.
Hour_Opportunity7786 said:
NTA. After your warning she should have paid attention and taken a good dose of “shut the hell up." If you’re happy with your life style that’s all that matters. Tell her when she starts paying your bill then she can commit until then have a happy miserable life.
Alfred-Register7379 said:
Nta. Never ever hang out with coworkers outside of work...besides work events. If you move on to greener pastures, they stay with the job. They don't go with you.
Regular-Addendum2034 said:
NTA homie, different strokes for different folks. She's giving major pick-me vibes with that "my way is the only way to have fun" attitude. Good for you for speaking up.
Timely-Profile1865 said:
NTA, amazing is it not that one person can make all sorts of comments about one person but the moment the other person pushes back they are "overreacting." Don't worry about it. It is work so keep it professional, the ball is in her court to patch things up if she wants to.
DeathSheep666 said:
NTA. Your coworkers are right. She should be able to talk about her lifestyle without you taking offense. The problem is she was talking about YOUR lifestyle. So many people can't live by the simple rule "don't harsh my squee."