'AITA for telling the mom next door to stop complaining about how she has to 'do it all'?'

"AITA for telling my neighbor to stop thinking she is the only one who can do it all?"

I am most likely the @$$hole. But parents who think that they are the only ones who can keep the world going tend to drive me crazy. A little background. I 47 male have had issues with this one neighbor before when she told me that my house gives her anxiety and I have been trying to just avoid her in general.

After this one incident I have just avoided her at all costs and if there is anything we need to talk about it goes through the parent’s emails system through the school.

There is a school banquet coming up soon and I have volunteered a couple of times for it. I forgot it was coming up so naturally I didn't say anything. She stopped over the other day to see if I was interested this year. From the past experience my house was in a midweek state so kinda organized chaos.

She said that she was at another parent’s house a couple of houses down from us so she felt it was just easier to just stop over than email. I guess it could be believable.

She asked about the banquet and I looked at the calendar and saw that my stepson was going to be gone for that weekend so I told her no I was not going to be helping and that I was actually relieved because there is a lot that we have going on right now. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF IT. RIGHT???? I thought so.

Neighbor started on her own rant about everything she does to manage her house and that includes managing all the kids events. And how she does it all herself with no help. I don't know why she told me all this. I told her and these were my exact words.

"Well good for you. I'm lucky because in this household we all pull together and help one another out. My husband, stepson and myself we all share the house responsibilities. Maybe enlist your husband and kids to do the same. It might help free up some time."

She looked at me like I had a third eyeball and told me nobody knows how to organize the family like she does. I told her well that that was her own fault for making it so that nobody could live up to her standards. She didn't really like that answer. I told her I needed to get my own stuff done and she needed to go.

I am now the public enemy number one among the school moms. Which is no big deal to me. It's just a giant clique. But from what I heard earlier I'm an a$$hole for not understanding what it's like to be a parent these days. This is funny. Last I knew I had three step kids one of which lives with me and my husband full time. So AITA for telling a parent to stop trying to do it all?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

blueavole said:

Wait, the inside of your house gives her anxiety? Unless you have an infestation, there is no possibility that this is her business. Some women never get out of the mean girl mentality. Next time, in that oh so fake I don’t like you tone: just ask her if she learned all that negative self talk from her mother.

And ( place a hand on her shoulder) learning to accept ourselves can be a live long struggle. Then try and hug her. If you are gonna go all psychological warfare, don’t go half measures.

Humble-Ad8475 said:

Congratulations you win the school mom frenzy. Parting prize sanity and your kid not being forced into a billion stupid activities and play dates they hate. Welcome to the other side.

OP responded:

I like the other side.

SecretSauce771 said:

NTA. She was passive aggressively trying to put you down, and you shut her down without being rude about it.

Puzzleheaded-Stop123 said:

NTA. I freakin' hate those martyr-types. "I am sooo busy, I get up at o'dark hundred and am the last one to go to bed. I only get three hours of sleep, I am sooo tired. I am on sooo many committees, and my kids do all the things."

But also, "Oh, I couldn't take anything off my plate, because who else would take care of these things, 'just so'? No one else is as capable as I am. The world would fall apart if I didn't do all of these things."

Candid-Internal1566 said:

NTA, but she probably has pretty much nothing else going for her besides "being the best at running my house", so I would probably stick to a general strategy of smiling, nodding, and avoiding and let her have that one.

Besides, she's likely got a lot of free time to try to mess with your life with, and no one who is willing to stop her from doing dumb things.

And bbbmine said:

I think what you said was great.

Do you agree?