'AITA for telling my pregnant teen daughter I will not be helping with her kid?'

"AITA for telling my daughter I won’t be helping with her kid?"

My (42M) daughter (16F) came me to me yesterday and told me she’s pregnant and going to keep the kid. I told her that she should really think about this as this will impact her life forever and maybe at her age not in a necessarily positive way. She said that she has thought it all through and said that she knows that she is 100% keeping this baby.

She is my youngest and I have 2 other daughters one is 19 and in uni and the other is 18 in community college. Their mother died in childbirth with my youngest and have been a single dad ever since.

I have no regrets about having my daughters but I know that if she has this baby she will want to continue schooling and she can’t do that with a newborn and I will end up being primary caregiver.

I am not one of those ‘when you’re 18 you’re not my problem' parents but I am looking forward to somewhat of a break and maybe even finding myself a new partner as I’ve been single 16 years. I would love a relationship I have funds set up for all 3 daughters and they have the choice of things like school or house down payment.

There is 35k in each account and my only condition was if when they got the money when they turned 18 if they blew it all on things like alcohol and food there would be no more money coming their way accept for ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL REASONS such as not being able to afford food or bills once they move out.

I told her that was her choice but that while she was living here I would I not be taking care of her kid or paying for daycare during the day. My daughter said how she was going to be able to manage that as she doesn’t have a job. And I just said that she would have to leave school and get a job as that’s the type of sacrificed parents have to do.

She then brought up the fund and I said that that would still be off limits until she was 18 as both her sisters had to wait as did she. She said that I was a shitty dad and that I wasn’t supporting her choice as a women. I would provide things for my daughter as I am Her father and that is my responsibility but i just said I wouldn’t be providing a crib diapers toys formula and other baby things.

My 19 year old said I was wrong as she is my daughter and that is my grand baby so I should help provide a better life for them but my 18 year old says I am right and that if she wants to act as an adult she should have to deal with all the responsibilities and hardships adults have to go through. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Every_Guard said:

Where’s the baby daddy? Maybe she should move in with him? Although may be to young could help her get set up with child support as well.

OP responded:

She has been dating him for a year now he says he wants to be involved if she keeps it

mi_nombre_es_ricardo said:

Her college fund is going to last her like a year and then she’ll be on the streets. She needs to know this.

OP responded:

She won’t be on the streets she’s welcome to stay as long as she likes but like my 18 year old will have to pay for rent that will be decided on based on her income

Argon847 said:

Unless your household is struggling with financial needs, you'd be 1000% the AH to charge her rent when you KNOW she'll be fiscally struggling.

OP responded:

Obviously I would filter in the needs for the baby theoretically. She makes 1000 a month 200 for nursery 250 for formula 100 for nappies That leaves her with 450 so I would charge her 150-200 a month leaving 200 for other things i would provide things like hills and food obviously.

And [deleted] said:

NTA: my cousin had a baby at 16, she didn’t finish her GED, she can’t get anything beyond seasonal work at Walmart or Charlotte Russe and then they let her go at the end of the season. She’s had abusive relationships because she needs someone to help her to survive. Please make her aware of her reality.

Get her in a single teen mom support group or something. She’s fucking up her whole life right now and she really won’t be able to do it without support from someone. She needs to understand her choice.

But you should understand as her dad what her future looks like too. When she can’t rely on you, she’ll find someone who help and that can be dangerous.