'AITA for not telling my SIL that she peed in the wrong body wash?' 'Oh, gross! Nasty!'
"AITA for not telling my SIL that she peed in the wrong body wash?"
I (46F) and my husband (46M) had a falling out with his sister (40F), a few years ago. We had agreed to split the rent and bills during a tough time for both of us, and it imploded almost immediately due to 1) her refusal to respect communal furniture and spaces, and 2) her lying to us about the cost of bills to get us to pay a higher percentage than we agreed.
My husband and I quickly moved out, and since she had never “gotten around to” adding us to the lease, she was stuck in the apartment until the lease ended. We have since moved out of state and bought a house.
Fast forward to now. SIL called my husband to ask if she and her new boyfriend (M35) could stay with us on their way to a friend’s wedding in our new state. She said she wanted to make amends and patch things up
I was skeptical, but I told my husband he could decide and I would do my best to get along. Well, when they got here, she had brought along an additional friend (F30-ish) as well as her boyfriend. Fine, okay. Rude, but whatever.
I settled SIL and her boyfriend into the guest bedroom, and made up the daybed in our gaming room for the extra friend. The friend asked if she could shower. I said yes, and directed her to the bathroom.
She grabbed her stuff and went in and showered. Well, the next morning, we heard SIL and her boyfriend go into the bathroom and start the shower. Then we heard giggling. When SIL and her boyfriend came out, she looked smug, and he looked subdued.
SIL went to wake up her friend and they left to get iced coffees. The boyfriend immediately asked me to take him to the airport. I was confused, but said sure (my husband was at work at this point, he left while they were getting dressed). In the way to the airport, the boyfriend told me that he was done with SIL, that she had peed in my body wash, shampoo and conditioner while they were in the shower.
Here’s the kicker. I don’t use body wash. I use soap that a friend of mine makes with goat’s milk because I have sensitive skin. My husband uses it, too. I also use bar shampoo and conditioner and a body balm bar, so none of the bottles in the shower were mine… they were all her extra friend’s. I had moved mine and my husband’s stuff into our smaller bathroom to make room for the guests.
I said “thank you for telling me,” and left it at that. I dropped him off at the airport. When I got home, SIL and her friend were piled up on my couch with the coffee and breakfast, watching Netflix. I said “good morning,” and logged into my computer to play Diablo IV for a while. I said nothing. Neither SIL nor her friend mentioned the missing boyfriend.
Later that day, my husband texted me and asked if we’d all like to go to dinner at our favorite sushi place. I told him that the boyfriend had left and gone home, but that I would ask SIL and her friend when he asked me why the boyfriend left, I told him he should probably ask his sister.
He said OK, and we all agreed to go out for sushi. I told SIL and her friend that I was going to take a shower and the diabolical light in my sister-in-law‘s eyes told me all I needed to know…
When I walked past the main bathroom and down the hall into the bathroom that only had a shower stall, SIL looked frozen. All the way through dinner she was nervous, and when her friend went to shower before bed she looked panicked, but she didn’t say anything.
“Oh, gross! Nasty!” shrieks started coming from the bathroom minutes later. The friend came out wrapped in a towel yelling that I was disgusting for pissing in her stuff, that SIL was right about what a b-word I am, etc.
My husband looked shocked. SIL started yelling at me about why would I do that? I calmly said that her boyfriend had told me that she’d peed in my shower stuff and that’s why he was leaving, but since I didn’t have any stuff in that shower, I wasn’t worried about it.
I told the extra friend to text the SIL’s boyfriend if she didn’t believe me. Well, he confirmed. Now my SIL and the rest of my husband’s family are saying I should’ve warned the extra friend. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Cali_Holly said:
NTA. FOFO. Of course SIL is mad and getting family to gang up on you. Simply remind everyone that she asked to stay with them and said that she wanted to make amends. But then she purposely urinated in those bottles to get back at her brother‘s wife for something that sister-in-law caused.
OliveMammoth6696 said:
NTA. Her friend needed to know what type of person she was and honestly, she probably wouldn’t have ended the friendship until something actually happened to her. It’s just pee (disgusting I agree) she’ll be alright.
Why is is your responsibility to warn someone that wasn’t even invited to your house. It’s honestly not even about you and the fact that they’re trying to make this your fault instead of telling their sister that’s she’s a terrible person is crazy. No. She wanted to be malicious so you let her be malicious.
GlitteringGift8191 said:
NTA. Why didn't SIL warn her friend when she realized her mistake? While yes, the boyfriend(ex) warned you, you could have easily not known and SIL was fine with letting her friend cover herself in piss wash rather than telling her. She figured it she can't get you to use the piss then she can at least blame you for it and still win. She wasnt counting on her ex ratting her out.
ReaderReacting said:
NTA. SIL should never have done that. Family who shifts blame are about as bad as her.
BigNathaniel69 said:
NTA, it speaks volumes that they’re mad at you and not the sister. Just kick them out, and block the family. Sounds like a win-win