'AITA for telling my roommate to stop cooking all the time?' 'It's driving me NUTS.'
"AITA for telling my roommate to stop cooking all the time?"
So I (22F) live with my roommate Katie (24F) and we’ve been roommates for like a year. Things were fine at first but now I’m losing my mind bc she’s OBSESSED with cooking. At first it was kinda cool bc she would make these fancy meals and sometimes offer me some but now she’s like doing it ALL THE TIME and it’s driving me nuts.
She cooks literally every day, sometimes twice a day, and it’s never simple stuff. It’s always these big fancy recipes that use like every pot and pan we own. The kitchen is always a disaster and she doesn’t even clean up after herself right away.
Like sometimes I’ll go to bed and the next morning there’s still dirty dishes and random food everywhere. Also, she’s started making weird stuff like fish stock and some kind of fermented stuff and it makes the WHOLE apartment stink.
The fridge is also a huge issue. She’s completely taken over all the space with her leftovers and jars of sauces and random ingredients. I can barely fit my milk and eggs in there. Last week I came home starving after work and she was making this huge meal and she told me I had to wait like TWO HOURS to use the stove bc she needed it for “her process” or whatever. I ended up eating cereal.
So I told her she needs to chill and stop hogging the kitchen all the time and at least clean up after herself. She got super mad and said I’m “unsupportive of her passion” and I’m being selfish. She was like “I don’t complain when you watch TV all the time so why are you complaining about this?” Which makes no sense bc her cooking affects me directly.
Now she’s being all passive aggressive like saying “oh I’ll just eat frozen meals from now on since I’m such a problem.” And idk, now I feel kinda bad but also like…I pay rent too and should be able to use my own kitchen. AITA for saying something? Or should I just let her do her thing bc it’s “her hobby?"
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
beautifulmonster98 said:
NTA. The problem isn’t her cooking, the problem is she’s treating the kitchen like she lives alone. You both share a kitchen so she needs to make sure to leave enough space for you to be able to make your meals and for your own stuff in the fridge. She also needs to clean up after because, again, she doesn’t live alone.
You may need those pots or utensils. If she’s going to continue hogging up all the space, then she needs to make food for you as well and make sure it’s available for you to eat before she takes two hours on the stove.
She also really needs to make things that don’t stink up the whole house. She can experiment with stuff like that later, when she lives alone or with a partner who doesn’t mind. It’s not life or death where she absolutely has to make this stuff right now.
CraZKatLayD said:
Definitely NTA. It’s your apartment too & you have a right to use the appliances. She also gets to watch the TV too. Maybe you need a roommate agreement where you set out ground rules for cohabitation. Stand your ground. If it’s truly her passion, maybe she needs an external outlet for it, like culinary school.
HavocIP said:
NTA but make sure she knows her cooking all the time is NOT the actual problem like you said it was in your post title. The problem is her leaving the kitchen a mess and stinking up the house making extremely fishy things/etc.
Tell her THOSE are the things you take issue with, not her cooking or using the kitchen for an extended period, like it sounds like you meant from your initial post. Obviously she has full rights to use your kitchen whenever she wants and make whatever she wants, AS LONG AS it doesn't make your place uninhabitable from the smell or constantly leave the kitchen absolute disaster.
DogsReadingBooks said:
Definitely NTA. You should both be able to use 50% of the fridge. You both should clean up after yourself. You both should be able to use the kitchen, living room and other common areas.
You should probably make up a chart or something where you agree on which times you have control over things. Get inspiration from Sheldon from TBBT - he has some valid points.
confused_overthink3r said:
I didn't think this would be my verdict in the first half but I'm actually saying NTA. It's great she's found a passion and everything but when it's to the point you're not able to cook and store food yourself then it's not fair.
I don't see why she couldn't compromise and maybe make more elaborate meals at weekends and focus on cooking fresh but quicker meals on weekdays, or something like that. Not every meal needs to be super intricate to be nice.
carpenter_208 said:
Nta. Also, after you talk to her...tell her I got an open kitchen I don't use lol home cooked meals and I just gotta clean? Sign me up