Family sides with 'charming' twin amid accusations of his emotional affair with brother's GF. AITA?
"AITA for telling my twin brother to stay the hell away from my girlfriend?"
I (26M) have an identical twin brother, Nate. We've always been close, but let’s be real — he’s the “charming” one. Life of the party, smooth talker, the kind of guy who walks into a room and instantly owns it.
I’ve always been more laid-back, focused on my career, and not really into competing for attention.
Until now.
I’ve been dating Emma (24F) for a little over a year. Things were serious — or so I thought. She met Nate a few months into the relationship, and I won’t lie: the connection between them was immediate.
She laughed harder at his jokes than mine, lit up when he entered the room, and even started mimicking some of his phrases. At first, I brushed it off. I mean, we’re twins — some overlap is natural, right? Then it got weird.
I started noticing Emma would text Nate late at night — “just memes” or “funny stuff from TikTok,” apparently. One night I caught her smiling at her phone in bed. When I asked who it was, she tried to hide it. It was Nate.
I asked her directly: “Is there something going on between you two?” She looked offended and said, “That’s your brother. How could you even think that?” Nate said the same thing — that I was being paranoid and needed to chill out.
But then I caught them. I came home early one afternoon — they didn’t hear me walk in. Emma was in the kitchen laughing, sitting on the counter. Nate was standing between her legs, leaning in way too close. Not touching — but way past the line of “just talking.”
The air in that room shifted when they realized I was there. Neither of them said a word. I walked out, cooled off, then told Nate later that night: “You’re my brother, but if you don’t stop hanging around Emma, we’re done. I don’t care if nothing happened — you knew exactly what it looked like.”
Now my family’s pissed at me for “overreacting” and “trying to control” who Nate sees. Emma insists nothing happened, but suddenly she’s cold and distant. Nate’s been ghosting me. So yeah — AITA for cutting off my own twin and laying down that boundary?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Dude, your relationship is already over and the moment you break up with her or his versa she's running into the arms of your brother.
For real!
And Nate needs to know what boundaries are and what is his and what isn't his.
Listen I’m a twin and I’ll be honest, they already cheated together. It’s written all over the walls. Wake up and break up with her. Also tell your parents that if they condone them suddenly dating after you break it off then they either knew and lied to you or suspected and are fine with cheating. You might need to cut off some family and friends for a while. Not forever but till you heal mentally.
NTA. You're not the A hole at all, both of them crossed a line and I'd cut them both off. Totally unacceptable behaviour from both of them. Both have proved that they're not loyal to you. Your family is gaslighting you by telling you you're overreacting. That's toxic too.
Honestly, setting that boundary with your brother was really necessary, and you're really NTA, because protecting your relationship, regardless of how awkward it might feel, is the right thing to do, and to be honest, it takes guts to confront him about it, and I can only imagine how hard it was, but you did the right thing.
YTA because you’re staying with your girlfriend. Have some self respect man. Cut your brother off, ditch your cheating girl and move on with your life. They knew exactly what they were doing. You don’t need that kind of toxic BS in your life. As far as the rest of your family goes, tell them to mind their business.
The fact he was that close and personal means they’ve likely gone farther. Look deeper. I can almost guarantee this isn’t everything. They’ve been talking at the least.
NTA dude, you're not the AH here. You saw what you saw - your brother crossed a line, even if nothing "technically" happened. He knew what he was doing. Standing between your girlfriend's legs, texting late at night, and sharing that kind of energy? That's not innocent, especially from your own twin who should know better.
I am a woman, and I would dump her ass, and dump my brother, too. What they are doing is, at minimum, an emotional affair. They are cheating, whether anything physical has happened or not.
Plus I would let my family know EXACTLY what Emma and Nate have been doing, what you saw, and tell them that if they do not get themselves straightened out, that I would dump them, too. They do not have to stop loving Nate, but they ABSOLUTELY need to stop facilitating his being a royal AH and d-bag. That is what I would do.
NTA, but Nate isn't the only issue here, Emma is, too. It's not just Nate that has been crossing these lines, it's Emma, as well. It's rather telling that they responded the same way to your suspicions, and now Nate has cut you off while Emma is cold and distant. They both knew exactly what they were doing.
Do you really want to continue dating someone who keeps making it exceptionally clear that she'd rather be with your brother? That's not just going to go away. You can't control what Emma does or who she sees, nor can you control that for Nate.
You can stop Nate coming to your place, you can refuse to spend time with him, all that stuff. But how can you be sure Nate and Emma aren't meeting up in secret? That's always going to be a worry in the back of your mind.