'AITA for threatening to uninvite my mom from my wedding if she didn't punish my sisters for what they did to my fiancée?'
"AITA for threatening to uninvite my mom from my wedding if she didn't punish my sisters for what they did to my fiancée?"
My mom never punishes her kids. As a kid I thought it was great. As an adult I can see it is a trauma response due to being abused as a child and overly punished for everything while her golden child sister could get away with murder.
It hasn't been too much of an issue as she is a great mom in every other sense and none of us were terrible kids. We probably got away with too much at times, but managed to avoid serious trouble.
I have two sisters who are 17 and 15. My fiancee and I are briefly staying with my mom due to being in between places. She has her wedding gown in a closet upstairs to avoid me accidently seeing it and my sisters are aware of this.
Recently they came into the room we were in and the 17 year old said the wedding gown was in the pool because "oh my God I dared 15 year old to do it, but I didn't think she would" I felt my heart stop.
My fiancee took off screaming. I ran after her but couldn't keep up. We saw a white gown in the pool and she immediately leapt in. I jumped in after her and could hear them laughing.
She grabbed the dress and became confused and said it wasn't hers. My sisters began to laugh and said it was an old dress they bought at a consignment store.
I've never seen my fiancee so angry. She got out of the pool dripping wet and demanded to know what my mom was going to do. My mom told her she needed to watch her tone when she is living in her house for free, but then she did tell my sisters that was not ok and too apologize.
I think she tried to push one of them into the pool but couldn't tell if that was a serious push or not. They did say sorry but were laughing. My fiancee said "no I asked what the f-k you were going to do."
My mom said they apologized and it was harmless as that wasn't her dress. My fiancee was furious and I jumped in and said they need to be in some serious trouble because what they did was cruel and they will not disrespect the woman I love.
My mom started getting annoyed and said "what do you want me to do beat them?" Then she brought up that I once put a huge snake in my sisters bed and that I wasn't punished. Then more deflecting about how it is her house.
My fiancee was so upset she left. I confronted my mom later and told her either they are punished to a sufficient standard or she is uninvited from the wedding.
My mom looked shocked and hurt, but told me they aren't my children and I don't get to punish them and to get out of her room. I feel kind of bad because I love my mom and I get missing your sons wedding is a huge thing.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
queerastears said:
Get the dress out of her house ASAP
Funny-Wafer1450 said:
Why aren't you uninviting your sisters? They are the ones who pulled the prank. They're old enough to know better and should be the ones with consequences.
ann102 said:
You need to leave the house. She's right, you can't tell her what to do in her house. But I would uninvite the sisters unless they make amends with your fiancé. I would expect the same of your mother for being so meh about the situation. But get out.
camkats said:
NTA this was mean and if there is any punishment I’d probably uninvite all of them- sometimes lessons are hard. But you need to move to a temporary space. Get out.
[deleted] said:
NTA but knowing your mum comes from a place of trauma, you know she won't punish them. She isn't capable. However, you do have the option of uninviting your siblings from the wedding rather than your mum.
That's the consequence. It's harsh and I'm not sure I would damage my relationships over an ill thought out prank but that's your decision.
CocoaAlmondsRock said:
Uninvite all three of them and live somewhere else until you have a new place. If they do something to show they're ACTUALLY sorry and ACTUALLY want to make amends, then re-invite them. Otherwise, let it go and be honest at the wedding when people ask where they are.