'WIBTA for throwing my in-laws and SIL out of my house?' UPDATED

"WIBTA for throwing out my in-laws and SIL out of my house?"

I have been thinking about this all week but my moral just keep battling with my head on this matter. I(23M) married my wife(24F) last year before the whole pandemic fiasco. I was lucky to not get affected by the pandemic and got the order of alternating between working at home for one week and coming to the office on the next one which works fine by me.

My SIL(34F) and her husband however are not so lucky. Both of them got fired from their job because of cost-cutting which forced them to move in with my in-laws. Around June last year, I come home from work to find boxes and bags in the living room and saw my niece and nephews running around the house.

My wife pull me aside and told me that her family got evicted from their home and have nowhere else to go so she invited them to come stay with us (without my permission). I was furious but figure that it is not worth fighting over, especially when they are already here so I let it slide.

My wife promise that her sister and BIL would try to find job as soon as possible, move out with my in-laws and reimburse me for the food or any other necessities that I provided for them. Months goes by and there is no sign of them even trying. My in-laws also look like they are in no hurry to find some way to move out or find somewhere else to stay.

They treat my home like it is their own since they begin putting away some old decoration on the excuse that it look tacky before putting up their own taste of decor. I'm starting to feel like they are just using me for my money since I'm the one who paid for everything, including the phone bills. I gave my wife an emergency card to be used but she misused it for her family so I took it back.

Earlier this year, I confronted them about when they can move out and they flip out on me. My in-laws have the audacity to insults me by saying that my late grandparents literally hand me down everything I have now and how I should not have any problem with them living with me for the foreseeable future. (Just to be clear, the house belongs to my late grandparents so it mean so much to me.

They literally put me as the sole inheritor to everything they own including their savings and life insurances.) I got angry and leave the house. My wife have been texting me non-stop eversince, telling me to come back and apologise for trying to kick her family out of MY house and how selfish I was for putting money over family. I reminded her of her promise and she hang up on me.

My guilty conscience keep telling me that I should just let them live there since they are my wife's family and my in-laws are old now. But I'm tired of having to deal with the stress from both my high-stress job and at home. So WIBTA for throwing out my wife's family out of my house?

What do you think? WIBTA? This is what top commenters had to say:

QuixoticLogophile said:

NTA When you get married you create a new family that you prioritize over your existing family. But your wife is choosing to be a sister first, and a wife second. Furthermore she's expecting you to foot the bill for her family's shenanigans without your consent.

You have to choose between being your wife's doormat, standing your ground. I would say kick them out as soon as possible, and get a lawyer. Your wife's family is so entitled to your stuff, and your wife just does whatever you want. I wouldn't put it past them to entertain the possibility of getting half your possessions in a divorce, since they can't just live there for free anymore.

fuzzy_mic said:

YWBTA, but probably not for the reason you think. You do not have an in-law problem, you have a marriage problem. Your wife moved them in, without consulting you. Your wife misused ("misused" according to your personal standard) the card full of money for the in-laws. The phrasing in your question is all "I kick them out" and no "we kick them out". You refer to MY house, not to OUR house.

If you, unilaterally, kick them out, then your marriage problems will get worse. Addressing the in-law problem while ignoring the marriage problem is what would make that an asshole move. If the two of you decide to kick the in-laws out, that wouldn't be an asshole move, but that sounds like its not something that you are contemplating.

Ihateyou1975 said:

NTA. Go home. Change all the decor back to how you want it. Put their stuff in boxes. No words need to be said. Cut the cable. The wi fi password changed. Start buying bare min food. No extras. Do not be considerate of them at all. Then tell them they have 30 days to get the hell out. Until then. Do not make them comfortable. Your wife can stand with you or leave with them.

And [deleted] said:

NTA. You won't get them to move out, and your wife has shown she will be on their side rather than yours, and you won't get them to move out as long as she's fighting for them. You will either win or lose this, and if you lose this, you'll lose everything. So kick them out, no dawdling, get a lawyer, get an eviction notice, get them out.

But do NOT MOVE OUT yourself, because that can be seen as you abandoning the property and they could claim squatter's rights...and their daughter might back them on it. The longer you let them stay, the harder it will be legally to make them leave. So start now and go hard.

He later shared this update:

Thank you for all the supports. I've taken your suggestion to heart and return home the next day after posting. I pull my wife aside to tell her my decision and she, of course, flipped out on me. She cursed me out for wanting to kick out her family and accidently reveal about them selling the Fine China that is displayed in the dining room a few weeks back because they don't have any money.

Those Fine China are my family heirloom that my grandmother got from her mother and I treasure it so much. It is so ridiculous for her to sell it since I have a grocery subscription send to the house every week that would be enough to feed all of them.

I told that she and her family have until Monday to pack their stuff and leave. Got the police involve when they didn't and I filed a divorce on that same day. I have hire several handyman to fix the house. I'm repairing my personal life one step at a time for thank you for all of the suggestion in the comments.