'AITA for not forgiving my sister and telling her fiancé the truth?'
"AITA for not forgiving my sister and telling her fiancé the truth?"
7 years ago my sister had an affair with my (ex)husband. We were still married at the time, I believed happily, and she was his mistress. I caught them together and banished both of them from my life. I divorced him. I told her to get away from me and the two of them stayed together for a couple of years and had a child.
My sister tried to reconcile with me 5 different times. I rejected her and told her I would never forgive her for what she did and I did call her some names and wish for some bad things to happen to her ie I wished for him to cheat on her and to destroy her life like they did mine and I told her she'd deserve it all and not to cry to me if she caught anything off of him.
I actually did a full STD/STI panel after finding out he'd been cheating on me with her. I was negative but you can never be too careful and he never denied there being more.
I have been 100% no contact with my sister since and I never met her child. Not even when ex cheated while she was pregnant and she ended up homeless. I told our family members I would not accept being around her.
A couple of weeks ago this guy reached out to me. He's engaged to my sister and was mad I wasn't there to meet him at the dinner my parents hosted to meet him for the first time. He said my sister was so upset, etc. That she had wanted me to forgive her, etc. That he felt I was s&*^%y to be mad at her dating an ex of mine.
I corrected him and said she was his mistress, that I was married to him, still actively married when they had an affair and I told him I caught them in my home and my bed. He didn't reply.
Several days afterward my sister showed up and was pissed off at me for telling him what I did because he left her. She told me I should be willing to put the past behind us and reconcile and to stop treating her like she's a criminal or evil. She said I act like she repulses me. I told her because she does.
And I told her my feelings had not changed at all in 7 years. She cried and told me one of us could die and we'd never reconcile if I'm not willing to try and I said I would not care. I told her she could die tomorrow and I would not regret my decision not to reconcile. I told her I no longer cared what happened to her or if she was okay or not. She left in tears.
My parents were so angry she confronted me. They had already been disgusted with her being the other woman but to confront me for correcting her lie, they said it showed she had not grown at all.
While my aunt told me I had no need to be so cruel after time had passed. She told me I'm treating my sister worse than she treated me and that I should be ashamed of myself for saying I wouldn't care if she died because it's an evil thing to say to anyone let alone family. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Well, actions have consequences. I wouldn't forgive either.
NTA. She didn’t care about you ONE bit while she was your husband’s mistress. She didn’t care about you ONE bit when she continued to stay with him and have a child with him. I wouldn’t care ONE bit about her either. She only wants you back now because you were right and he left her high and dry.
There are around 4 billion men on this planet. Of all the men that exist and are available in the world, OPs sister decided to f*ck her husband. Absolutely vile betrayal, and she's not sorry at all. She went on to bear his spawn. The only reason why she's reaching out to OP at all is because he "shockingly" cheated and left her too.
Karma is a s^%$ sandwich you get to eat raw.
Certain things in this world are absolute taboo for a reason. It's because certain words and acts are so vile that they destroy relationships to the point where there is no hope of ever coming back from it. This is one of those occasions.
OP is not the AH to never want her ex-sister back in her life. If her sister loved and respected her, she wouldn't even dream of f*^&%$g her husband. So there is literally no love lost here, and it's entirely OPs sister's fault.
My mother slept with my then-husband while we were married with children (we divorced and I found out later that she was just one of a string of affairs he had during our marriage).
You'd best believe she died alone with the finest medical care the state could provide, only attended to by the PCAs that the state paid to mind her.
Edit: I've made my peace with it now that she's dead. I just occasionally think nasty thoughts about my ex, and cackle like a wicked witch when I hear about his various misfortunes. It's very healing.
Good for you OP, I am so proud also your parents seem to realize you are right but can understand them still seeing her and grandchild . I’m glad the fiancé left her when he knew how vile and disgusting she is and want you to know it’s good that you have shown her how consequences work.