'AITA if I abandon my family during Hurricane Milton? They are refusing to evacuate.' UPDATED 3X

"WIBTA for abandoning my family during Hurricane Milton?"

I (21F) reside in a mandatory evacuation zone for Hurricane Milton and my parents (53F 52M) are absolutely refusing to evacuate our house. My boyfriend who lives in Orlando traveled over an hour to see me this morning to try and offer my parents a place to stay with him, to convince them to leave since nothing I’ve said has had any effect.

He brought us sandbags and help us board up our windows in last minute preparations (since my parents didn’t even want to do that much.)

I’m extremely stressed out and worried for the safety of my family which includes my teenage brother and our two cats, because if we are to be hit as hard as the news predicts it’s unfair of us as their owners who are responsible for their wellbeing to make them suffer unnecessarily.

I even asked my boyfriend if he would be willing to take my cats back to Orlando with him and have them stay at his parents place for a little until the storm passes, to which he of course agreed, but my mother doubled down and insisted that things will be fine and she can handle taking care of the cats. The entire situation is surreal to me.

I can’t understand the root of my parents stubbornness, maybe it’s material attachment, but to willingly put me, my brother, and my cats’ wellbeing at risk is unfathomable to me. I feel like they’re not taking it seriously because we’ve never been seriously impacted by a hurricane before, and they’re under the assumption they’ll be able to just ride it out like any other storm, but this isn’t any other storm.

When my bf and I pressed the issue before he left back home my father snapped at me and told me if I want to go, then to just go and that they’ll be fine here at home. My bf tells me that my brother and i shouldn’t have to pay the cost of their decision or be obligated to stay just because they choose to.

I want to prioritize my own and my cat's wellbeing but at the same time the thought of leaving my parents behind obviously breaks my heart, what could I possibly do? WIBTA if I were to leave?

The internet had OP's back all the way.

No-Following-7882 wrote:

NTA. Tell your parents to write their names on their bodies to make it easier for first responders to identify them. Please keep us updated. Be safe it’s not worth the risk.

minkamagic wrote:

Say nothing and pack up your brother and cats and leave. Unfortunately you cannot help those that don’t want to help themselves, even if it’s your parents 😔

Friendly_Debate2932 wrote:

Not only don't want to help themselves, don't want to help you or lives that WILL be lost bc of their denial. Hard truth: they are willing to sacrifice your lives instead of facing reality. Go. Get brother and beasts who 100% have spent their lives trusting their people and go. It is the responsible thing to do, and it is the only thing to do.

JenAYE2 wrote:

NTA-I have a lot of friends in mandatory evacuation zones unwilling to leave. I do not understand it. Please take yourself, your brother and cats and leave. Sometimes you need to be the adult in the family and disobey the parents and do what’s best for yourself and siblings.

Anoncommenter wrote:

Are you leaving with your brother and your cats? Everyone here is telling you that’s the smart choice. PLEASE update us because I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight out of worry for you and your brother and cats. Leaving is the right choice, even though it’s hard. You’re not abandoning them, you’re saving yourself and the people/pets who are dependent on you - the only rational adult in the situation.

OP responded:

I’ve already spoken to my brother and he’s agreed to come if I go, I told him to start packing. I’ve been meaning to start myself and I know the situation is dire but I can’t stop crying reading these comments. I know it’s the right thing to do but my parents are everything to me and I don’t want to leave them behind, I'll go but I’m going to fight tooth and nail to try and convince them to come with me one last time

The next day, OP jumped on with three updates.

Hi all. After a lot of crying, pleading, and arguing (both between themselves and with each other) my parents have finally agreed to leave the house. My father will be accompanying me and my brother to Orlando and my mother will be evacuating to a nearby emergency shelter, which a friend of mine who lives down the road from me is currently staying at with her family as well.

I do wish we were all leaving together and I am still worried about my mom but she doesn’t want to travel far and I’m just over the moon to be able to get her to budge this far at all, and I think it’s a lot better than having my parents just fend for themselves alone in the house.

I am considering leaving the cats with my mother after all because 1) the shelter is pet friendly and much closer to us than Orlando, both of my cats have extreme travel anxiety and will piss, s-t and puke when left in the car for extended periods of time and since this will be a stressful and traumatic ordeal for them either way I want to at least be able to spare them the long car ride.

2) my bf lives in a (fairly small) apartment with his parents who also own a small chihuahua, and on top of the chances that my cats wouldn’t really like being around a free roaming dog (they don’t even like each other that much.

We usually keep them separated or else they’ll scuffle) my boyfriend’s mom is not too fond of cats and i just wouldn’t want to burden her more on top of how gracious she’s being already.

I’m not entirely sure if this is the right call, I know they would be stressed out in either situation but at least with my mom they’d also be able to keep her company. I know a lot of you interpreted her actions to keep the cats at home as selfish and they were.

But I genuinely love my mom more than any person in the world and I know she has good intentions, just bad judgment sometimes. As of right now, I AM still at home, we’re beginning to experience some light rainfall but my brother is asleep and still unpacked and i’m just going to sleep for a couple hours before we head out first thing in the morning.

Like I've said before traffic inland is not too bad, at worst the drive should be a little over two hours which is already the average timeframe with regular traffic, but my dad and i are already all packed and i’m confident all of us will be situated in time well before the hurricane hits Wednesday night.

I also just wanted to say first and foremost thank you to every single one of you who has reached out with genuine concern and good intentions, who has encouraged me to leave, who has me and my family in their thoughts despite being complete strangers.

When I made my last post I felt so so helpless and alone, I thought I was overreacting or exaggerating things by feeling the way I felt and i never fathomed it would gain so much traction. Thank you for supporting me and my family, and I hope everyone else is also able to stay safe and close to their loved ones during these times.

EDIT: Our plan changed last minute (again) but me, my parents, my brother and our cats, ended up staying with a group of relatives 30mi further inland. Unfortunately not Orlando like the original plan as my father deemed it would have been too dangerous to drive that far on the roads this morning when we woke up at 7 but I am genuinely very happy to have my entire family with me.

Had we gone to Orlando to stay with my boyfriend like intended my mother would most likely have stayed behind in a local emergency shelter as she didn’t want to travel that far. we left at 9am, arrived maybe around 10am and it is currently 10pm, experiencing fluctuating rain and wind strength but so far we still have power/water/etc.

My cats are probably a little stressed, but otherwise safe and healthy and thankfully did very well on the car ride over here. I’ve been on the phone with my boyfriend and us and our families are all still doing well. Thank you so much for everyone who is invested in our wellbeing, will update again after the Hurricane passes. <3

FINAL UPDATE: We got home earlier this morning and thankfully aside from some flooded roads, lots of debris and a loss of power, our house/neighborhood is all good. so now i guess my parents can say I told you so lol :)

But I’m very relieved and very fortunate to be able to say that and I'm glad it’s not the alternative. My relatives whose house we were staying in also experienced no flooding or major damage, and the drive home wasn’t bad either. The cats are also okay! The only injuries we sustained overall are some scratches from trying to give one of them a bath (because he shit himself in the carrier on the way home.)

Other than that though everyone is safe and well and I cannot thank everyone enough for your concern and support. Thank you to everyone who reached out to share their stories and experiences and i hope you all remain safe, prepared and precautious for any storms ahead.

The internet was glad to hear the updates.

SoFlaSun wrote:

First, I am glad you have been able to get your parents to acknowledge they need to leave to shelter safely. Now, while I am not sure exactly where you are…have you seen the news and the traffic jams trying to evacuate?

They are many hours long - you really should get moving otherwise you could end up stuck in your car, in traffic unable to move, experiencing the hurricane. You are doing yourselves no favors getting a few hours sleep if it leads to you being stuck in a worse situation. JMO. Please be safe.

Competitive-Week-935 wrote:

It is people like you that wait to leave until a few hours out from the Hurricane that put our emergency personnel in danger. Your brother wasn't even packed. Jesus. What is wrong with you people. Have you seen this monster storm?

Square_Band_9870 wrote:

No matter what happens from here you did your best. The bf and his family are amazing. Sounds like a good call for the cats. Cats plus chihuahua is a terrible idea for all involved. Sometimes storms move in unpredictable ways so if it isn’t as hard at your house your parents may complain to you. Think of it this way - you wear your seatbelt every car ride even though 99% or more rides there is no crash.

You still protect yourself. Also, you don’t waste resources by putting yourself in a situation that requires first responders to rescue you.

I’m glad you are nearly out of there.

pageofswords_ wrote:

Oh my god I’m SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I’ve been seeing post after post of soooo many people who absolutely can’t get their parents or grandparents to get out of mandatory evacuation zones so to hear that you were actually able to get your WHOLE FAMILY to agree to go to much much safer places is honestly making me so happy. That’s honestly incredible.

I’m really relieved to hear that you have a plan! I would consider consulting with other people who know what’s going down on the ground to make sure it’s going to be safe to drive out tomorrow morning. From what I've been reading it seems like the biggest threat in Tampa area is a 10-18ft storm surge and flash flooding.

Storm surge water will rush into the areas that they issued evacuations to well before the hurricane itself gets bad. Granted, I’m not sure when they’re expecting the storm surge to become an issue so just make sure to be SUPER careful with timing. I’ve heard Wednesday morning is the deadline for final prep so it seems like you’re planning within an okay timeframe, but again, be super duper careful.

Also, make sure travel conditions will be okay before heading out to Orlando. A car is one of the absolute worst places you can be caught in in a bad Hurricane, so keep that in mind. Just remember that your whole family can stay in the shelter together as a backup option if you don’t get out in time or if authorities are advising against travel.

Once again, super proud of you OP for getting your family out of that situation. You likely just saved their lives. Keep on keeping your family safe. please take or leave anything I offered here, but I would say it’s much more important to trust your gut at this point. Wishing you all the best!

EDIT: I forgot about the cat situation! I think it depends on if they’re more freaked out by traveling or storms. Either way they’re not gonna be happy campers, but at least they’ll be alive.