'WIBTA if I broke up with my BF via text? He has been giving me the silent treatment.' UPDATED

"WIBTA if I (30F) broke up with my (42M) boyfriend via text message? He has been giving me the silent treatment for over two days now and I know he won’t pick up if I call."

Hi, guys! Like the title says, what are your thoughts on doing this? Long story short, my boyfriend and I are in a LDR right now due to his work and we’ve planned for months that he was going to come visit me for my birthday this weekend. We’re only three hours away from each other. We have been together eight months. We see each other at least two weekends a month and I just saw him last weekend.

He all of a sudden was being wishy washy on coming up to celebrate my birthday with me and wouldn’t commit to coming. This is the one day I feel he should want to spend with me. I spent his birthday with him a couple months ago and I never would have heard the end of it had I not done so.

I got upset and left his house early. I texted him to tell him I made it home safe on Monday and he responded and that was it. I didn’t hear from him all day yesterday, so I called once and texted once and got no response. I haven’t heard from him today, either. He usually calls three to four times a day and texts quite a bit.

This, however, is about the third time he’s given me the silent treatment. I’m over the emotional immaturity and childishness (especially for his big age), so I’m going to break up with him.

He also tries to be controlling and has said that it’s a red flag to him that I have a lot of friends and got upset that I got off the phone with him one day because a friend was calling me (we had already talked on the phone five times that day). So, yeah… this is just a little bit of what I have been dealing with.

Do you think texting would be okay in this instance? I can pretty much guarantee he won’t answer my phone call and I’m done chasing. Thank you!

What do you think? WIBTA for breaking up with her BF over text? This is what commenters had to say:

DoinMybest187 said:

NTA. He is literally BEGGING you to dump him this way!! LOL! And we are begging you to update us on how it goes! Please go find someone with some actual maturity, not this man-baby.

ConvivialKat said:

NTA. Don't waste your time breaking up with him. Just ghost his ass. He'll figure it out when you block him on everything. Jesus, what a baby. Why do women date people like this? He's 42 effing years old and acting like a toddler.

Specialist-Gap8010 said:

Please please please update if you text him or ghost him!!!

And [deleted] said:

I'd just full ghost. If he wants the 'excommunication experience' you can certainly make it a next-level endeavor.

She returned a few weeks later to share this update:

I’m baaaaaaaack!! I still hadn’t heard from him as of Thursday afternoon, so I went ahead and composed a break up text and sent it to him yesterday. I basically told him that I would have preferred to not do this over text message, but he’s given me no choice.

I said that I’m tired of him giving me the silent treatment, I’m fed up with having to drive to him more than him to me, and that the final straw was how he was going to ditch me on my birthday.

I think I mentioned in a comment on my original post that he was still actively talking like he was coming to visit me last week and within two hours of me getting to his place last Saturday, he ordered me a meal from UberEats and said that was my birthday meal. Not sure what changed in those few days, but it doesn’t matter.

I told him that I wasn’t interested in a one-sided relationship where we can’t communicate like adults and to not bother reaching out to me again. He uses his phone for work and I made sure to text him during work hours because he has his phone glued to him then.

I waited an hour to see if he would respond and he didn’t, so I went ahead and blocked him. I was sad for a little bit, but what I mostly feel is a sense of relief. I feel like that picture of Nicole Kidman right after she divorced Tom Cruise. I’m a free elf!!!

What’s funny is that he was always telling me that the two most important parts of a relationship to him were communication and trust. There was one weekend in particular where he told me he was traveling to Green Bay for work and he wouldn’t be able to hang out. I confirmed the dates with him a few times just to be sure.

He called me a few days before his supposed Green Bay trip and asked me what day I was coming down to see him that weekend. I told him that he told me was going to be in Green Bay, so I made other plans. He hung up the phone on me. That was the start of him accusing me of having too many friends and that my friends were a priority over him.

I called him back an hour later and he told me that if I hadn’t called him back, he was never going to talk to me again. Apparently the trip got canceled and I was supposed to be able to read minds as he never mentioned that tiny little detail to me.

His mom also thinks he drinks too much beer and she had been getting on him about it recently. He got mad at her one day and told me he wasn’t going to talk to her for a week. I am not the only person he does this stuff to. This is just how he is.

He also came to visit me one weekend and I didn’t have the beer or coffee he liked. I got on DoorDash and ordered them for him as soon as he told me. I apologized for not having them (I just got back from a vacation in NYC and was tired), but the problem was solved within a half hour.

He left on a Monday morning and waited until Monday evening to call me crying (yes, he was actually crying) about how I didn’t have those things waiting for him before he got there and how I didn’t care about him. Yikes… I can’t believe I dealt with that for so long. 😳

Regardless, I got gifts and a cake from my co-workers and I’m spending this weekend with my friends and family. I appreciate all of the comments and advice from you guys! Have a great weekend!