'WIBTA if I were to dump my boyfriend for being a snobby movie critic?' UPDATED 2X

We all have dealbreakers, and it's important to honor them.

"WIBTA if I were to dump my boyfriend for being a snobby movie critic?"

My boyfriend hosts his own podcast dedicated to movies and he even has his own studio that he's renting out so that he can record there. He has some co-hosts, legit recording equipment, and he has a decent following.

I always go to the studio to just sit on the side and watch as he records, but I've noticed that he's started to become a bit different ever since the start of the podcast.

On a podcast a few weeks ago, the topic was 2016 movies as my boyfriend and his co-hosts revisited some of their favorite and least favorite films of 2016. One co-host brought up Arrival as their favorite film of 2016 and while he was talking, my boyfriend loudly says "YAWN!" and he explains that he thought Arrival was boring.

My boyfriend then goes into this giant rant about how he hated Arrival, calling it one of the most overrated movies of all time. He says that he looks down on people who like the movie because he claims that they "think they're smart" and he says that he's proud of himself for "seeing past that movie" and it's "faux attempts at intelligence."

And whenever someone would try to change the subject, he'd just interrupt them and go right back to talking about how much he hates Arrival. Then just a few days ago, he was recording another show and the topic was MCU movies. My boyfriend brought up that he thinks Age of Ultron is a "hidden gem" and "massively overlooked masterpiece."

One of his co-hosts scoffed when he said those things and that set off my boyfriend. He starts attacking the co-host for his taste in movies and started saying stuff like "Just because I have a better understanding of the art of film-making, it doesn't mean you have to be jealous of me."

That was actually enough for the co-host to just walk out in the middle of the show and my boyfriend said "That's fine, I only want to talk to true auteur's of film on this show." And just yesterday, I asked him if we could see Shazam together, but he simply responded with "I deserve better than those DC movies."

I confronted him and told him that he needs to stop acting like he's smarter than everyone over his taste in film and he said "Truth hurts, doesn't it?" And it's like this a lot. Whenever I'm watching a movie he doesn't like, he'll just scoff and say "Typical." I'm thinking of breaking up with him, but I also feel weird about dumping him over him having differing views on film. What do you think?

People had a lot to say in response.

Venaros8693 wrote:

NTA. Don't think you are breaking up over your differing views on film, but rather his sh-ty attitude

actualdisasterbi wrote:

NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like a true douchecanoe who has that faux "I'm smarter than you, and a deeper intellectual than you" bullshit about him. I don't know you, but I can safely say that you're better off without people like that in your life.

anon_sequitur wrote:

NTA - it would be weird if you didn't dump him. He has Serious Opinions about movies which he has to share, which is barely tolerable. But worse, he seems mostly concerned about dividing movies into categories and berating people who don't agree. Obsessing over what is overrated or underrated isn't serious film criticism, it's pretty much the lowest form of critical analysis.

It sounds like he just likes to talk about other people's bad taste, and his inevitable conclusion that this is because we're all stupid. And to top it all off, he's not even a highbrow snob, he's going on about MCU vs. DC, like a food critic raving about McDonald's vs. Burger King.

_Hyunae wrote:

NTA because Arrival was a fantastic movie and Age of Ultron was one of the more mediocre Marvel movies and you deserve to be with someone with better taste than that.

OP responded:

In all actuality, he dislikes most comic book movies. He likes Age of Ultron because he just over-analyzes a lot of things that simply aren't there, like "Hawkeye's family represents the average movie-goer who's lost in the hustle and bustle of comic book fatigue" and "Ultron's plan is that of a true visionary who wants to go against the status quo."

He views Age of Ultron as this clever critique on the state of comic book movies in mainstream cinema, even though it's just not. With all other comic book films, he dislikes most of the other ones. He thinks the Captain America sequels are "too political", he says that Logan is only appealing to white trash, and he thinks that The Dark Knight is a "try-hard."

Four days later, OP shared an update.

Last night was another podcast between my boyfriend and his remaining co-host. Before every actual recording of a show, they always get together in another room to briefly go over what they're going to discuss on the show and the topic this time was Star Wars.

They were going to talk about the new trailer for Episode 9, as well as rank their favorite and least favorite Star Wars films. During the pre-show meeting, I was thinking about how I was most likely going to break up with him after the show has been recorded, but another opportunity presented itself.

During the meeting, my boyfriend and the co-host were talking about the Star Wars movies and my boyfriend brought up that his favorite movie is Revenge of the Sith and his least favorite is A New Hope. He said that Revenge of the Sith is the most "epic and action-packed" whereas the original movie is "too dated."

His co-host disagreed and they started talking about their opinions, which lead to them talking about the Last Jedi, but then my boyfriend turns that conversation into one about another highly divisive 2017 movie, Mother, starring Jennifer Lawrence. My boyfriend hailed it as "one of the top five films of all time" and "the most artistic film he's ever seen."

His co-host wanted to get back on track to Star Wars, but my boyfriend kept wanting to talk about Mother. The co-host responded with "Mother is an edgy high-schooler's version of artistic." and that was enough for my boyfriend to go red in the face and say "Well, at least I try to have actual taste unlike you!"

The co-host simply said "I'm done." and got up and walked out of the room. My boyfriend just stood there and then he turned on me. He said to me "What the f-k are you looking at?" I just stood up and told him that we're done as a couple. I explained that I can't stand his s--ty way of talking to people and constantly acting like he's so much better than everyone.

He starts telling me that he needs me and he was planning on asking me to join the podcast, but I just told him no and walked out of the room. While I was leaving the building and getting an Uber, my boyfriend sticks his head out of the front door and screams "F-KING C-NT!" I just ignored him, went home, and now here I am.

Not long after posting, OP shared another small update.

UPDATE: I just wanted to let you know that I will no longer be giving out the link to the podcast in any more PM's. I've done that in a couple of PM's already and my ex just texted me, telling me that the comment section in his podcast is being bombarded with trolls, and scary comments, one of which was something he's now reporting.

The internet was invested in the updates.

ezioaltair12 wrote:

Looks like he went down a path you just couldn't follow. But man, driving away your co-host and SO in the space of 5 minutes, really reinforces that you did the right thing OP.

newfountain22 wrote:

NTA but I do think you need to realize you didn’t break up with him because “he’s a snobby movie critic.” This had nothing to do with movies, he’s a s--ty a##sive person and that’s why you dumped him.

imostlytakeLs wrote:

I have to agree tho Revenge of the Sith is my personal favorite as well however, I would never disrespect “A New Hope” like that though...the movie that started it all? One of the most ground breaking movies of its time?

George Lucas literally created technology for his movie that didn’t even exist at the time, it was risky, it was fresh, it broke all rules of cinema and it was universally loved. If your ex doesn’t understand that then he doesn’t actually appreciate movies and he should probably start keeping his opinions to himself.

Shelliton wrote:

So I'm a cellist, I started at 12 and had played for my local junior symphony orchestra for about 2 years. When I was 23, the cello had become a much loved hobby and I was in a relationship with a guy who painted as a hobby. We had a conversation where he flat out admitted that he did not count music as "art" and that he considered himself as "above me" because I did not have "an artistic soul."

The issue wasn't ever that he did not see me as an artist, but that he saw me as someone beneath him. And that does not fly in a relationship. He told people a lot of the superficial reasons we broke up - "She's not an artist, we didn't see life the same way" - But I know that I can't be in a relationship with someone thinking they are better than me. And neither should you. So good on you, OP.