Wife walks out of the airport when she sees MIL standing there with luggage. AITA?
"AITA for walking out of the airport when I saw my husband's mom standing there with her luggage?"
RoadIsland123
I F30 don't have the best relationship with my husband's mom.
Since day one she tried to make remarks and compare me to her ??.
She then tried to get on my good side and started overly praising everything I do and sometimes even copying me like that one time when she LITERALLY dyied her hair purple just like mine and when everyone pointed out how ridiculous she looked. She actually blamed me and accused me of trying to make a joke out of her.
So, Anyway! My husband and I took 2 weeks off work to go visit some places out of the country - tourism in other words. Thing is, I was the one who saved up for and arranged for the trip (my husband was responsible for booking the tickets).
My husband's mom wanted to come along and threw temper tantrums when I said no. She called, texted, sent people to talk to me into letting her come, even threatened to call the police and make some complaint up to get us to stay if she can't come.
My husband said we should just take her but I told him he was wrong to tell her about the trip in the first place. He gave me an ultimatim. He said he wouldn't go if she can't come and I told him I'd gladly call his bluff which made him take his words back and say "FINE! I will tell her to stop it because we won't take her".
Things got quieter, suspeciously quieter. The day of the trip came and we got to the airport at 2pm. My husband was walking ahead of me and was looking left and right like he was looking for someone. I asked him but he didn't respond.
He led me to the waiting area and first thing I saw was his mom standing there with her luggage. I froze on the spot, I felt a cold wave washing over me and I was fuming inside.
She and my husband were hugging that's when I quietly turned around and started walking towards the exit. My husband followed me while shouting at me to stop. He tried to stop me but I told him off the harshest way possible.
He tried to say I was overreacting and that his mom was there "anyway" and I should let it go and not mess the trip up for us. I told him he and his mom could still go and that I was going home.
I went home and sobbed into my dog's fur for several minutes. Turns out, he booked her a ticket without me knowing. An hour later he came home yelling and raging about how pathetic and spiteful I was to walk out and go home and ruin the trip last minute.
I told him he caused this to happen.
He said that I was being so hard on his mom it's ridiculous.
I refused to fight any more but he kept on berating me then called my family to tell them that the trip was cancelled and that it was because of me. My family said that I shouldn't have ruined it for myself and should've sucked it up and done my best to enjoy. Did I really overreact?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
PeanutButter_Toast_
I don’t wanna call the divorce card but.. divorce. You told your boundaries, you said no. She crossed it. Your husband told you he would tell her no, he lied. He tried to pin you in a corner by not saying anything and bringing her anyways and got upset you refused to be a part of his little trap?? And then to berate you?? He’s not a good man. He needs to go. NTA.
Material_Cellist4133
This right here. I would divorce his ass. He lacks a backbone and the ability to stand by your side. Time to cut your losses and move one.
Runswithturnbucklez
Jumping into add that nowhere in OPs post does she state “my husband is a wonderful, caring, helpful person and we love each other so much. This is so unlike him” Very telling.
RainbowCrane
I agree this is relationship-ending. Unfortunately this seems less like "lacks a backbone" to me, and more like, "Values his mom more than his SO and is willing to use his backbone to sabotage SO and lie." At the end of the day not really better for the SO, but from the outside he looks actively harmful, rather than a grown-up kid who never learned to stand up to mom.
eleanor_dashwood
Not that I believe a word of it when they do say that, if course. Certainly not for behaviour like this, that doesn’t exactly come out the blue.
secondrat
NTA. Hubby lied to you and put his mother before you?
I'd be looking to get out of that marriage. That would be a deal breaker for me.
The OP responded here:
RoadIsland123
Thing is he didn't even pay for anything. And I really wanted us to have some special time together as a couple and was really looking forward to having this trip. So much that I worked more hours to be able to save for it.
SnakeSnoobies
You’re NTA, but your family is right. You should have went. You paid for everything. Your name is on everything. You could have easily went and enjoyed your two week vacation yourself, while not letting them into your hotel rooms and not use your accommodations.
savethebooks
Definitely NTA. You know that if you had sucked it up and gone with them, the entire vacation would be all about catering to his mom. Whatever SHE wanted to do. Whatever places SHE wanted to go, places SHE wanted to eat. You'd be the third wheel on your own vacation.
The OP again responded:
RoadIsland123
You are absolutely correct. this is exactly how I felt when I saw her standing there.
monsteramoons
I'd divorce this man.
I'd get tired of tripping over his umbilical cord.
NTA.