Woman asks if she was wrong to eat dinner early on family vacation, 'she told me off.'

Is it truly a family vacation without a daily dose of passive aggression and looming tension?

So, when a conflicted woman decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her sister's attitude, early dinners, pool drama and more, petty people everywhere were eager to dive in. Sometimes it's better to just stay at a different hotel...

AITA (Am I the As*hole) because I ate early?

We're on vacation with my husband's family. We got here Sunday afternoon, and I was hungry. I made food for myself and my son. My husband said to wait for his family so we could all have dinner together or maybe even go out. It was around four o'clock, and he was saying we'd eat at seven.

I said I was hungry, and my son and I ate. After that the three of us sat by the pool. His family arrived around six, and everyone was hungry and wanted to go out to eat. I don't know if it was the traveling or what, but I was exhausted, so I said I was too tired and would go to bed early. My son stayed home with me, because he wasn't hungry and wanted to stay.

I woke up early this morning, and I made tea and sat by the pool while my son played. When my sister in law woke up, she came out to the pool and told me off for eating early, not going to dinner and being so standoffish. She said everyone wanted to see me and my son, and I was being such a b$tch. I said I was tired from traveling.

She said if I forced myself to stay awake, I'd be on the same schedule as everyone else, but since I went to bed early and woke up early I was going to have the same excuse tonight.

She also told me off for not making breakfast when I was the first to wake up, but I didn't know when everyone was going to wake up, and no one wants cold breakfast. She just rolled her eyes and walked away.

I feel like everyone's been standoffish to me all morning and I'm wondering if I should apologize. Was I an a$hole?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this vacation drama...

KronkLaSworda said:

NTA. It was travel day, and you were hungry and tired. 'She also told me off for not making breakfast when I was the first to wake up' Is that a rule for your family when you do family events?

Inevitable_Pie9541 said:

I'm going with ESH, for OP because she was passive aggressive in her behavior. Yes, I'll buy kid was hungry and tired, and she was. However a tide you over snack at 4pm won't ruin a 7pm dinner, and a quick nap would have freshened both up to go enjoy the evening meal with family.

OP chose instead to eat a full meal with her kid, and noped out of a group dinner she was aware of in advance, not as an oops, but because IMO, OP never wanted to go on vacation in a group to begin with. OP didn't want to join for dinner, and blew everyone off and went to bed. That's just rude.

SIL sucks for being rude and confrontational first thing in the morning, and, according to OP, OP wasn't aware first one up cooks breakfast is the habit for this family group. If OP didn't know, it's unfair to be belligerent about it.

SIL tho has a point about OP being stubborn about their own sleep/wake schedule and refusing to adjust it to be with the larger group. IMO this is OPs immature way of avoiding attending group meals/events she simply doesn't want to attend.

chlorenchyma said:

NTA. When your body is sending hunger signals you should eat. Waiting 3 hours to do so is ridiculous and unhealthy. And your child’s bedtime would have likely occurred during the time they were out for dinner, so pretty inconsiderate of them to not include that as a factor when choosing a dinner time. And like, these people are adults. They cannot get themselves breakfast? Lol.

Aromatic_Day_5592 said:

ESH. I agree with other posters that you could have had a snack, then gone to dinner. But even if you made a meal, you could have still gone with them. A family dinner isn’t about food, it’s about time together with the family.

Travel and pool time can both make you tired, but you could have stuck it out to sit with the family for an hour or two.

However, your SIL was wrong to tell you off in such a rude way. There are better approaches to telling you she’s disappointed that you didn’t join them. Additionally, it is not your responsibility to make breakfast for everyone just because you’re the first person up.

You don’t know everyone’s morning schedule. And unless it was planned, breakfast shouldn’t fall on your shoulders.

vf238 said:

I’d say you’re NTA for feeding your kid. I also think you could of had something at 4 that was more of a snack to keep you going until 7. I’m and early eater too and I would be beyond hangry if I had to wait 3 hours to eat.

However I think YTA for how you handled the situation. There was nothing stopping you having a snack and still going to dinner. I think the not going to dinner was rude if you’re all meant to be holidaying together.

oksoimherenowyay said:

NTA why is everyone on a damn schedule the first night. I get that you should spend time together but then to also expect you to make breakfast just because you woke up early? She’s just looking for something to fight about.

She’s making assumptions. Vacations are for relaxing not to be on the go. Obviously make time For dinner but it doesn’t have to be every night.

So, there you have it...

While the opinions were pretty divided here, most people agreed that this mom wasn't wrong to eat dinner without the group. Still, everyone could've been more mature about the entire situation, especially on the first day of a trip that's meant to be fun for the whole family.