Woman bans friend's 'emotional support animal' from house, 'he's still learning to behave.' AITA?
"AITA for not allowing my friend to bring her 'emotional support animal' to my house after it destroyed my furniture the last time?"
I (19F) have a close friend, Amy (21F), who has a small dog that she refers to as her emotional support animal. I’m a huge animal lover and have no problem with pets in general, so when she asked if she could bring her dog over a few months ago for a small gathering, I was totally fine with it.
However, during that visit, her dog completely destroyed one of my couch cushions by chewing it up and also scratched the legs of my coffee table. Amy apologized, but she kind of brushed it off and said, "He’s still learning to behave in new environments."
I didn’t push back too much because I know the dog is important to her, but I was pretty upset because it cost me quite a bit to replace the damaged items. Fast forward to now, Amy asked if she could bring her dog to my place again for another get-together.
I politely told her that I wasn’t comfortable with the dog coming this time, because of what happened last time, and I don’t want any more of my furniture ruined. Amy got really upset and said that I was being insensitive to her mental health needs.
She insisted that she needs the dog with her at all times and that I’m making her feel excluded by not allowing the dog. I suggested that she leave the dog at home just for a couple of hours or that we meet somewhere else, but she said I’m being unreasonable.
Now, some of our mutual friends are saying I should let the dog come to keep the peace, but I don’t think it’s fair that I should risk more damage to my home. AITA for refusing to let her bring her emotional support dog to my house again?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ahs-freak-show said:
NTA. Being an emotional support dog doesn’t mean he’s free to destroy property without her taking responsibility for it. It’s still a dog and she’s still its owner, so if he’s still getting used to new places, then she shouldn’t be bringing the dog to other people’s houses until he is properly trained to do so.
She should’ve offered to pay for the replaced items that her dog destroyed, and that should be a reasonable stipulation for future visits to your home.
electrolitebuzz said:
From a dog lover and dogsitter, NTA. If your friend needs the dog to be with her all the time for psychological support, then she should make sure he is a dog that can be brought everywhere.
She should have repaid you for the damaged furniture the first time. She should have had the dog under her watch all the time to begin with. She needs him with her all the time but then he was alone in your living room destroying cushions? She should be able to train him to be non-disruptive (which is pretty easy to do, really, unless the dog is heavily traumatized) to prevent that from happening again.
I really don't know how some of your mutual friends are defending her. If you really want to accomodate this to avoid dramas, I'd make sure it's clear that she needs to have the dog on a leash and supervised all the time, and if he damages something again, you will ask for her to repay it. If she makes a drama out of your request, then it's on her.
Auntie-Mam69 said:
NTA. This emotional support animal crap is out of hand. She either gets that dog trained so it can function as such or she can stay home and let it destroy her house. Any mutual friend who tells you otherwise is welcome to host this person and her dog at their house.
Actual-Clue-3165 said:
NTA. People can't just call a pet a service animal and bring it everywhere. The dog destroyed your property, it's obviously not trained, you aren't being insensitive to her mental health but not allowing her to have her pet with her all the time. If she wants a service animal, she needs to get the necessary certifications, until then, you owe her nothing.
StraightJacketRacket said:
NTA. Amy is demanding and entitled. Absolutely do not enable her by "keeping the peace." Tell her you do not feel valued as a friend because she's willing to allow her "support animal" to destroy your property without compensation. Tell her exactly what you paid for the courtesy of her visit, and ask why it's you who is paying for the cost of your friendship and not her.
BeeYehWoo said:
If I'm reading between the lines, I'd guess your friend didn't even attempt to cover the damages. Stand your ground. Her dog can destroy someone else's property. You don't have to accommodate an unruly person or pet in your home. NTA.
Mysterious-Bag-5283 said:
NTA. She doesn't even replace your furniture that her dog destroys. Just keep meeting her outside for now or your other friend can offer their house for meeting places.