'AITA for suggesting my SIL is lying about burying her husband's wedding ring with him?'
"AITA for suggesting that my sister in-law is lying about burying my brother in-law's wedding ring with him?"
Basically, my brother in-law (my husband's brother) passed away from cancer 2 weeks ago.
His widow/wife aka sister in-law has never really been on good terms with my in-laws/her in-laws. They were having issues in the past and now from what I gather, my mother in-law is planning on going to court for grandparents rights to get visitation of the kids.
My in-laws had been asking my sister in-law to give them my brother in-law's wedding ring so they could keep it. She refused and they got into a huge argument then she left with the kids. They went over to her home yesterday hoping to take the ring from her but she told them she didn't have it, and that she buried it with my brother in-law.
When my parents in-law mentioned this and were devastated, I suggested that she might just be lying to get them to drop it. Suddenly, they got up and quickly got into their cars and went over to her house and had another huge argument there.
Sister in-law called me later cussing at me saying I was horrible to be basically meddling in her life and encouraging my in-laws to come after her and harrass her. I argued that I only made a suggestion and that her real issue was with them.
She hung up after telling me to mind my own business and stop getting involved. My husband berated me for what I said and said that his parents are crazy, and that I shouldn't approve of their behavior or even help them harass my grieving sister in-law.
I mean my parents in-law are also grieving and I, too, am grieving and my sister in-law's words hurt me when all I did was just make a suggestion when I saw how devastated my parents in-law were. AITA?
EDITS:
I'm grieving because my brother in-law and I had a good relationship. My sister in-law however, always disliked me even though I always offered help and visited a lot when when he was hospitalized.
We're not close. She claimed that I was gossiping about her fights with my in-laws and posting about "her personal life" on social media when all I did was share my brother in-law's health updates on facebook for concerned relatives to see. That's it.
I did share a photo of him once but took the post down after my husband told me too because the photo was of him at the hospital but my parents in-law were in it...so I didn't think it was an issue. But she claimed that I was doing this for my own benefits (??) and that I made it seem like I was happy seeing her struggle.
Let's find out.
banansling writes:
YTA. Your SIL just lost her husband 2 weeks ago and you all are giving her a harder time than she needs right now. She's probably more devastated (at least equally devastated) about this entire situation than you guys are. She just lost the love of her life.
coool09 disagrees:
NTA but the PIL are. But SIL is sooo obviously lying. And that she called you essentially shows that she IS in fact keeping the ring somewhere.
knightofnihilism writes:
YTA for sure. Your husband's right. I'd advise your SIL to block all of you right after one final message saying, 'If you have an issue please just take me to small claims court. If I get a summons I will show up but beyond that I want no contact while I mourn my husband.'
Also, legally and morally speaking, as his wife, she's entitled to keep the ring if she chooses. It's his wedding ring. How can anyone but the spouse feel entitled to it at all?? Y'all squabbling over possessions after a beloved family member is gone. So shameful.