Woman 'blows up' on brother for not paying rent. AITA? 'You make more money than me.'
"AITA for blowing up at my brother for not paying rent while partying every weekend?"
I (28F) live with my younger brother Jason (25M). We moved in together about a year ago after he broke up with his girlfriend, and I thought it’d be nice to help him out. At first, it was fine actually kind of fun having him around. But now I’m at my wits’ end.
When we agreed to live together, the deal was simple: we split the rent and bills 50/50. Jason’s job isn’t amazing, but it’s enough to cover his share at least, it should be. But since day one, he’s been late with rent almost every month.
Sometimes he doesn’t pay at all, and I always end up covering for him because, obviously, the bills have to get paid. He always swears he’ll “pay me back soon,” but it never happens. My savings are practically gone at this point.
Meanwhile, Jason is living his best life. He goes out every weekend, sometimes Friday and Saturday, hitting up bars and clubs with his friends. He buys expensive clothes, eats takeout from fancy restaurants, and even recently got himself a new pair of designer sneakers. But when rent is due? He magically “doesn’t have it.”
The final straw was this past weekend. After working a 12-hour shift (I’m a nurse, so my job isn’t exactly easy), I came home and found Jason getting ready to go out with friends. I asked him about rent, and he brushed me off, saying he’d “sort it out soon.”
When I pressed him, he got annoyed and said I was “always on his case” and that I needed to “chill.” He even had the nerve to tell me, “You make more money than me anyway, so what’s the big deal?”
That was it for me. I told him I wasn’t going to cover for him anymore and if he didn’t pay his share of the rent next month, he’d need to move out. He got defensive, called me heartless, and accused me of not supporting him as family. He stormed out and hasn’t spoken to me since, but I know he’s been texting our mom, complaining about how “unfair” I’m being.
Mom thinks I should be patient with him because he’s “still young and figuring things out.” But I’m not sure how much more I can take. I love my brother, but I’m so tired of being his safety net while he refuses to take responsibility for anything. So, AITA for giving my brother an ultimatum? Or am I being too harsh?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Candid_Process1831 said:
NTA! You should have given your brither an ultimatum a long time ago. It's disrespectful towards you for him not paying his share of the rent! You did the right thing!
Endora529 said:
NTA. He is having best life because he is living off of you. Kick him out. Let him go live with your mom and be her problem. He’s not your kid.
mcindy28 said:
NTA. Looks like Mom can support him from now on...he's her son. NOT your dependant. He's only a few years younger than you and you aren't responsible for his lack thereof.
AnneShurely said:
Is he on the lease? If not gather up his crap throw it out the door and let him know he no longer lives there NTA.
ITguydoingITthings said:
NTA. But your mom is an enabler of bad behavior. He's 25 years old, for cryin' out loud. AND he made an agreement with you to pay 50%. Sit him down, say this is what the agreement was when you moved in. Either own your responsibilities or move out.
Whole-Ad-2347 said:
NTA! Maybe mom is willing to pay for brothers bills when he doesn't? I'd be so done with this situation. Let him move back home with mom.