Woman calls sister brat for always bringing up her cancer, sister says she's jealous.
Siblings don't always get along. Usually, this evens out with age, but if one sibling gets spoiled over the other, the resentment can last forever. On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman is tired of her sister constantly pining for attention.
She writes:
My sister (19f) and I (22f) are not very close. She was diagnosed with a lung problem when she was born, and when she was three, she developed a rare form of cancer. This meant our parents focused a lot on curing it and expected me to be on hand to entertain her, keep her mind off of cancer, and make sure she felt loved.
I don't remember when she wasn't the sole focus of our parents' attention. Sometimes my parents scolded me for watching TV while she was sick because how could I take my focus off her?
She would try to get the attention of everyone after a while. When we were kids, we were left out of a couple of family weddings because the bride and groom didn't want her and my parents to make her the center of attention on the day. They already did that to my mom's sister.
My sister puked that morning on her wedding day, and my parents decided to tell the whole family beforehand because we'd be late. Then they showed up at the church, and mom went to the front with my sister and announced to everyone that my sister was okay. My aunt was so mad at her for that. She then had my sister go up to them when they exchanged vows and kissed them. My aunt stopped talking to my mom after that sh*t show.
My sister is used to telling everyone she knows she has cancer, that she's got bad lungs still, and that she's probably going to need more surgeries in the future (because her cancer treatments harmed her liver or kidneys).
I admit to resenting the attention she gets. When I was 17, she asked me why I never paid the same kind of attention to her that our parents did. I told her that she's not the only kid I know who survived cancer because, in the real world, people aren't taking their focus off everything to focus on her or any other cancer survivor.
I told her it was rude to bring it up when someone else was celebrating or focusing on something. She asked me how it could be rude when people never tell her to stop. I told her people told mom and dad to stop, but they didn't listen, and because she was a kid, they wouldn't say it directly to her.
I walked away from my family after I moved out. My sister reached out to me recently and wanted us to catch up. I was open to it, so she came to stay with me for a bit, but she started telling everyone about her cancer once she got here. She asked me to take days off work to spend with her because of cancer.
My girlfriend was over, and she bugged her for hours while I was at work and then called to complain that my girlfriend wouldn't entertain her. She told me I was mean, and I just resented her, which wasn't fair. When I got home that night, I told her that if she wanted to be the center of attention, she needed to go to our parents because she won't get that anywhere else. AITA for what I said?
The internet does not have sympathy for OP's sister.
realstareyes says:
NTA (Not the A**hole). It‘s sad that your sister suffered so much, but you‘re also a human being and deserve to live your own life and receive your own attention. You aren’t obligated to treat her as your parents did, and your parents should’ve treated you better!
harleybidness says:
NTA. Sister is what your parents made her. She won't change. You will be happier if you keep association with her to a minimum and never invite her to visit again.
RedditDK2 says:
NTA. Your parents hurt their children a lot. They hurt you by ignoring you. They hurt your sister by turning her into a self-centered brat who really thinks she is the center of the universe because that is what she had been taught.
woodenpickle17 says:
NTA she's gonna milk that cancer cow as long as she can. Just save yourself the stress and drama by keeping away from her