Woman discovers that her parents have been LYING to her about her food allergies; 'Are they ACTUAL PSYCHOS?!' UPDATED 2X

"I discovered that my parents [50s] have been lying to me [19 F] about my food allergies (and who knows what else) for my entire life. Am I justified if I cut them out of my life?"

Ever since I was a little girl, my parents have told me that I am allergic to both milk and chocolate. The story goes that I broke into severe hives on my very first Halloween.

My mom had given me some milk chocolate and I had to be rushed to the hospital with hives and breathing problems where I was diagnosed with both chocolate and milk allergies. Ever since then, I have never been allowed to eat anything containing chocolate or cow's milk.

Over the summer, one of my college friends from out-of-state invited me to come stay with her for a few weeks. While I was in her state, I decided to use the opportunity to visit my Godmother/Aunt who I haven't been able to see since I was a young child.

My aunt was thrilled to see me and we spent a whole day hiking and just catching up. When we stopped for lunch, my Aunt pulled out some granola bars, but they had chocolate in them so I couldn't eat them. I told her that I was allergic to chocolate and she was stunned.

My aunt told me that I have never been allergic to chocolate and that my mom was lying to me. She told me the story of how I had gotten ill from daycare and my mom had tried to sue the daycare owner for some stupid reason that no one was sure of.

My mom was pissed off because she though the daycare owner was flirting with my dad and she wanted to get the daycare shut down. My mom then invented the story about me and the chocolate at the Halloween party.

She made sure NOT to tell the daycare about the (fake) allergy and then waited for the daycare to feed me food with chocolate in it so that she could sue. When that didn't work, my mom then invented a story about me being allergic to milk.

When aunt tried to call her out on it, my mom stopped speaking to her and that silence has continued until the present.

Needless to say, I was stunned. I wanted so badly to believe that my mom was telling the truth and that my aunt was lying. I waited until we got back to my aunt's house and I took a bite of one of the granola bars. And I was not allergic, AT ALL. I was very upset and decided to call my dad.

Our conversation was so crazy and out of nowhere that I don't know what else to do but type it out. The conversation went like this:

Me: "Dad, were you aware that I am not actually allergic to chocolate and milk like you and mom have told me?"

Dad: "Don't be ridiculous. You've never been able to eat chocolate without a reaction. Why would we make that up?"

Me: "I'm not trying to accuse you of making it up. I was just asking if you were aware that I do not have the allergy. I just ate some chocolate and I didn't have any reaction to it. Did I ever get any allergy tests done?"

Dad: "I will have to ask your mother. I am upset that you are trying to call us liars over this."

Me: "When did I say anyone was lying? What are you talking about?"

My mom then jumped into the conversation (speaker phone).

Mom: "Honey, don't you remember that you had hives at your 10th birthday party? Your friend had given you a tootsie pop and you were allergic to the chocolate."

Me: "Mom, I never had a 10th birthday party and I don't know what you're talking about. I was just curious if I ever had a real allergy test done for chocolate, because I was just able to eat some without a reaction. I'm just trying to figure out if I can eat chocolate or not now."

Mom: "I don't know why you need to know if you had a test or not. You can't eat chocolate because we SAY you can't eat chocolate. You're being a little liar right now, how DARE you say we never gave you a birthday party that year. You've always been ungrateful and now you can't even remember the party we gave you."

Me: "Mom, I KNOW I never had a 10th birthday party because I was at summer camp. Why are you trying to make me believe that I did?"

My mom then started screaming at me and I just hung up the phone because it was so loud and I couldn't hear any individual words. I silenced my phone and watched as she proceeded to call me 40 times in a row.

The entire time my aunt was watching in horror. My aunt then gave me a hug and told me that this is why she doesn't have a relationship with my mother. My mom has always done this, lied to people and then tried to convince them it was the truth.

I am very upset about this entire situation. The conversation was simply one of the craziest things I've seen and I don't know who these people are anymore. It creeped me out and I don't think I ever want to talk to them again or else they will try to turn on me. Am I right in wanting to cut these people out of my life?

tl;dr: Mom and dad always told me I was allergic to chocolate. I went to visit estranged aunt in a different state and aunt revealed my mom made it up to try to sue a daycare. I ate the food I was supposedly allergic to and was fine.

I called my parents and they tried to say I was calling them liars and then tried to make up a birthday party. It was crazy and I think they're crazy and I just need to know if it's okay to cut them out of my life.

Before we give you OP's updates, let's take a look at some top comments and responses from OP:

flowers4u: I'm just amazed you haven't figured it out sooner. I am allergic to various nuts, and is say about once a year I accidentally eat one. But when i was younger my parents kept me away from eating all nuts to be safe.

OOP: They had chocolate and milk banned from the house and always told my teachers and such about my 'allergies' at the beginning of each school year.

I also had to keep an epi-pen in my car starting after I got my license 'just in case' something bad happened. I didn't have any reason to doubt them until a few months ago when it all came crashing down.

OOP adds about her parents: My mom and dad are two peas in a pod and they are best friends. If she's a narcissist, then I'm 100% positive he is one too. I can't afford an allergy test, but at least I know I'm not going to die from chocolate anymore.

I don't think I'll be able to pretend that I forgot about the party because it was so hurtful that she tried to lie to me about it. I don't ever want to speak to her again. She doesn't even remember my birthdays and she's my mom. Thanks!

Update 1 ( a few months later):

It's been a while, but I felt the need to update because my mom purchased a one way ticket to Crazy Town after I made my first post. To summarize what I have found out since my last post:

I am NOT allergic to chocolate. Chocolate is amazing and I am now addicted to the chocolate waterfall at Golden Corral.

I am NOT allergic to milk. I am mildly lactose intolerant, but I was always told it was an allergy to a protein in the milk. I can drink Lactaid with no issues.

I had an allergy test done and it confirmed that I am not allergic to anything except for pollen and some animal dander. My mother is a psycho.

After I made my original post, I decided that I was going to cut contact with my parents except through email.

My mom called me over a THOUSAND times the first week and I eventually had to get a new phone and simply stopped answering the old phone and let the battery in it die. To put this in perspective, she used to call me 2-3 times a week and this sudden increase was pure insanity.

Since my mom knew where my dorm room was located on campus, I requested to be moved into one of the more private dorm buildings because I was concerned for my privacy. I didn't tell anyone except my college friends about the move and I had thought that everything would be fine.

Everything was fine for a few weeks, until I got a call from one of the adjunct professors to help tutor one of the new students. My school has a master tutor list and any student can call the tutors and arrange for help for free (us tutors are paid by the school). I told the adjunct that I would meet the student in the library in a few and grabbed my books and walked over to the library.

Lo and behold, the new student was my mom! My mother decided that she would enroll in classes as a student in order to contact me. When I saw her, I froze and immediately tried to leave the library, but she followed me outside and wouldn't leave me alone.

I eventually managed to duck into one of the fraternity apartments and was able to lose her, but she has been basically stalking me on campus ever since. I tried to report her to the school, but the campus police told me that since she never made any threats, that there's nothing I can do.

I tried reporting her to the normal police as well, but was told the same thing. My mom has not left me any voicemails or texts or anything at all that I can use to prove what she's doing.

My RA has ensured that my mom is banned from my dorm building (only upperclassmen are allowed and my mom is technically a freshman), but beyond that I am running out of options.

My mom posted on facebook that she is signing up for the same classes as I need to complete my major next semester (she posted her schedule and we are in one of the same classes!) and I don't know what else I can do to stop the crazy.

She claims that she didn't do ANYTHING to hurt me and that I am just lying about the chocolate and milk allergies. My aunt had to go out of the country for work and I feel so alone with dealing with all of this. My dad has basically ditched and moved out of my mom's house and I haven't been able to get in contact with him either.

Any ideas for how to stop the crazy? My mom lied to me for years and told me I had several food allergies. I caught her in the lie and cut off contact. She has now enrolled in the same classes I need to complete my degree and I don't know what I can do to stop her from stalking me.

Before OP's next update, let's take a look at some more comments and responses from OP:

OOP: I don't think she's physically or financially dangerous, the only way she can hurt me is mentally and emotionally. I've been able to play it off to my friends so far because she is living and breathing the stereotype of the crazy Asian mother.

If I can get this meeting arranged, I'm going in drinking a carton of chocolate milk. I'm not worried about her because she's always been this crazy. This is just the first time that her anger has been directed at ME.

How did the mom find OOP's schedule: She found out from the degree catalog they publish each year (the one that lists all the classes you need to graduate). She signed up for one of the 200 level classes I had left and it doesn't need any pre-reqs at all. She's atually really smart and she somehow managed to test out of a lot of the core classes (she'll be taking Calc 2 next semester).

When told to contact the dept head or professor and have her mom removed: I'm typing up an email to the department chair now and I'm waiting for a call back from the student affairs office. I've still got the phone, but the police wouldn't even look at it when I tried to tell them about her stalking me. It's an iphone so it saves ALL the records of when she tried to call me.

Unecessayreactions shares a relatable personal story:

It feels very familiar. My mom disowned me and kicked me out of the house/family when I graduated high school, but she couldn't handle that I was no longer under her control.

Got a job at the university bookstore to be on campus and have access to me, ruined all my university friendships by stalking them and blowing their phones up if I wouldn't answer...

gave my information away to any random person she thought would be a "good friend" for me and racked up 3 additional stalkers, harassed me to the point of return because it was easier to give in than fight at 17/18, and then married me off to someone just like her before my sophomore year.

Ended up divorced after DV (with condemnation and pushback from her), with an awesome kid (who she threatened to take from me with falsifying CPS reports), and still graduated Summa Cum Laude with Honors on a full-ride scholarship that she couldn't take away from me.

Now happily low contact and impatiently awaiting her departure from this plane of existence. Would be fully no-contact, but my nieces and Grandma still need me around.

Update 2:

Hi there. It's my first time posting here because I was hesitant to give my mom the 'narcissist' label. That being said, I don't really have a better term to describe her behavior.

To summarize, my mom and dad lied to me and told me I had allergies (chocolate and milk). I believed them for years until I met my estranged Aunt and she spilled the beans and revealed the web of lies created by my mother.

I decided to go No Contact with my parents and my mom snapped and enrolled at my university and was basically stalking me and enrolling in the same classes I need for next semester. I contacted the student affairs department and they arranged a meeting between myself and my mom regarding the stalking.

At the meeting, the administrator heard both sides of our stories and pretty much caught my mom in another lie. My mom had her best poker face on and tried to claim that she hadn't contacted me in months.

She denied that she had called me repeatedly, denied that she ever tried to get tutoring from me, denied everything she did. She tried to act like she was the victim and that I was just a mean and disrespectful daughter who hated her mom.

And that's when I produced my iPhone and showed the administrator the call log from when my mom called me over 1000 times in a row (this is not an exaggeration, the call log hit quadruple digits). My mom then tried to deny that the number was her cell number, but the administrator looked it up in the student database and it proved she was lying.

My mom tried to backtrack, but the damage was done. The administrator made us both sign contracts that said that we each must not contact each other for the remainder of the school year, otherwise we would be suspended from classes.

My mom was forced to change her schedule so that she would not be in the same classes as I was in.

The administrator made it clear that if she tried to circumvent the contract (even if by accident), that she could have her student ID banned from entering the student center or other buildings if I was inside (they are controlled by RFID chips and we have to swipe them to enter certain buildings).

After the meeting ended, I was so happy and I felt free for the first time in weeks. A few nights later, my dad called me and left a voicemail informing me that my mom tried take a bunch of sleeping pills and that she was going to the hospital.

I thought it was fake at first, so I called the hospital and they put me through to my dad who was in the waiting room. My dad laid into me pretty hard and called me names and stuff about the whole situation and then told me that if I didn't want my mom to die, I shouldn't have made her life miserable.

So that's my Thanksgiving vacation and I don't really know what to think or do right now. I'm going to go bake a pumpkin pie and try to forget about it all, but food tastes like ash in my mouth.

Readers continued to weigh in:

se1ze: Honey, it's not your fault. Not even a little. She is a very sick person. This attempt is the inevitable conclusion of a long struggle with serious mental illness.

OOP: Thanks for saying this. My mom is incredibly intelligent and resourceful and I know that if she really wanted to die, she would have been successful. I know for a fact that she's smart enough to find a way to hurt herself without leaving lasting damage.

She also made sure to put me down on her list of approved visitors and sign all the paperwork so that the nurses can tell me information without violating HIPPA. She knows that I'm the type of person who would have called the hospital and then I would know all the details and she could guilt me with them.