Woman doesn't bring her wallet to dinner with a friend 'to teach her a lesson.' AITA?
"AITA for not bringing my wallet to dinner with my friend to teach her a lesson?"
Last night, I (28, F) went to dinner with a close friend and decided to leave my wallet at home. She has a habit of “forgetting” hers when we go out, leaving me to foot the bill. I thought this time, if she conveniently forgot again, it might finally push her to take responsibility. I felt like I was being taken advantage of and I was completely fed up.
As expected, when the check came, she patted her pockets, rummaged through her purse, and said, “Oh my God! I forgot my wallet! Where the hell is it?!” It’s the same song and dance every time. I simply responded, “Me too.”
It was really awkward. She looked at me with the most disgusted expression I have ever seen, but then I could tell she started to panic. She was upset with me for “putting her on the spot,” but I was frustrated by her repeated behavior. She told me I was a horrible person for publicly humiliating her.
I didn’t think it was fair to keep covering for her without saying anything. She was able to use Apple Pay, thankfully, and I could tell she was embarrassed. So, AITA for leaving my wallet behind to make a point? Or was it a necessary step to address an ongoing problem without confrontation?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
dystopianpirate said:
NTA. She was taking advantage of your kindness, and she was mad because she couldn't take advantage of you once again. She's not a good friend.
Seraphimm791 said:
I find it amusing how pissed off she is about you putting her on the spot...when SHE has done this exact thing to you repeatedly! Like, oh? It's suddenly an issue when it happens to you?
PearlyP2020 said:
NTA, but why not just pay for your own and refuse to pay for hers?
CarryOk3080 said:
YTA to yourself for going out with this leech of a person constantly. Stop. They aren't your friend they are using you as their atm.
Apart-Scene-9059 said:
ESH: You know...you could just stop going out to eat with her right. I'm also curious what was you plan if she didn't have the money to pay.
Bectim12 said:
NTA. Honestly, it sounds like you’ve been more than patient with her. She keeps pulling the same stunt, and you were just fed up. You didn’t humiliate her, you just mirrored her behavior to make a point.
If she’s been consistently leaving her wallet behind and relying on you to cover for her, it’s about time she learned to take responsibility. Sometimes, people don’t get the message until they’re put in an uncomfortable situation.
You didn’t do anything cruel, just made her face the consequences of her actions. Hopefully, this will make her realize she needs to step up.
Numerous_Author9553 said:
ESH. You potentially left yourselves in a position where the restaurant or server would've had the bill not covered. Which is just weird. Either stop going out with her or have a conversation about it. If she was able to use Apple Pay last night she's been able to use Apple Pay every single time.
Hachiko75 said:
ESH. You're 28, time to grow up and confront people about their crappy behavior or actually bring your wallet and tell the staff it's separate checks.