Woman drops out of friend's bridal party because her fiancé 'doesn't like the dress.'

Part of being a bridesmaid is taking a deep breath and wearing a dress you probably would never buy for yourself and surely won't ever wear again...

So, when a conflicted ex-bridesmaid decided to consult the jury of internet strangers known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about backing out of a bridal party over the bride's dress choice, people were eager for the juicy gossip.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for dropping out of a wedding party because my fiancé didn’t like the bridesmaid dress?

I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding but I ended up dropping out because of the bridesmaid dress and now my friend is really angry with me.

When we originally went to look for the dresses, my friend made it clear that she was going to have the final say and the bridal party would just have to wear what she wanted.

She ended up picking a dress that I would never have worn in any other circumstance.

It has a low v cut neckline and a high slit so depending on how you’re standing a lot of skin is on display. I did mention to her that the dress was out of my comfort zone but she still picked it.

I wasn’t happy about the dress choice but I was going to try to suck it up for her sake until I showed my fiancé. He made a comment about how you could see more of me in that dress than even he had seen before.

When I asked him if he didn’t like it he said it wasn’t something he would pick and I looked uncomfortable in it. After we talked about it, I decided to drop out of the wedding party.

When I told my friend and explained my reasoning, she was really upset and begged me not to drop out.

She sent my fiancé texts calling him a controlling d^ck and told me she wouldn’t come to our wedding because she couldn’t support me marrying someone like him. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:

SamSpayedPI said:

YTA. You would not have been the asshole to tell your friend, 'I'm too uncomfortable to wear that revealing a dress. May I alter mine to have a higher neckline and not as deep a slit? If not, I really can't be in the wedding; sorry.'

Then she would be the asshole if she told you no. Most of the weddings I've been to have had bridesmaids in different dress designs, due to pregnancy, religious modesty rules, or whatever.

To pin your refusal on your boyfriend's opinion makes him sound like a controlling ahole and you sound like a doormat.

CompletelyChaotic said:

ESH. Yes, she’s the bride, so she should get final say, but should understand that will come with people dropping out of the bridal party if she doesn’t consider their comfort.

You for using your fiancé as an excuse or letting your fiancé control you. If you didn’t like the dress and it was about your comfort, you shouldn’t have even brought your fiancé into the conversation with the bride.

If you are solely dropping out because your fiancé is not ok with the dress, then your friend is right. It is a controlling relationship.

[deleted] said:

ESH. It really sounds like you threw your fiancé under the bus here. He didn’t say you couldn’t wear it, just that it wasn’t something he would pick and you didn’t look comfortable.

You decided not to wear it because YOU weren’t comfortable...then you went and told your friend something that indeed, makes him sound like a controlling ahole. Your friend sucks for not caring about your comfort at all.

Puzzleheaded_Touch81 said:

YTA It’s so common to not like the bridesmaid’s dress the bride picks out. It’s something you suck up and do for your good friend. You should be honored that you were asked to be in her wedding.

Are you sure you want to marry a man who dictates what you can and cannot wear? Especially when it means letting a good friend down on one of the biggest days of her life? Now is the time to get a backbone.

Because if you give in to him now on things like this, he’ll only expect that he can control you more and more with time. Perhaps you can alter the dress with a few stitches in the neckline and slit? But only for your own comfort- not for him.

[deleted] said:

ESH. You for hiding behind your bf's not liking the dress. The bf for telling you want you can and cannot wear. And the bride for going into Bridezilla mode.

Exact_Roll_4048 said:

NTA but I Don't think you dropped out bc of your fiancé. I think you dropped out bc you feel uncomfortable in the dress and what your fiancé said just spurred you to take initiative.

It's ironic that a woman who wants to put you in a dress you aren't comfortable in is claiming your fiancé is controlling bc she can't get you to do what she wants. Beware of the bride.

Trinity-nottiffany said:

YTA. It’s not about you and what you like.

So, there you have it...

While the opinions for this one were definitely divided, most people agreed that both this ex-bridesmaid and the bride are at fault here. Forcing your friend to wear something that makes them uncomfortable is shady bridal behavior, but blaming your partner for the decision to drop is also weird. Good luck, everyone!