Woman gathers fake evidence against husband in case he cheats, she's the one cheating.

My (30F) friend (34F) was collecting fake evidence against her husband and then got upset when I told him.

pinkfluffyunicorn92 writes:

So, I (30f) have a nasty purple bruise on my underarm. It’s not super big, but it's very colorful. I don't know where it came from, but my best guess is that I ran into the doorknob. The other day, I had coffee with friends M & S. M (36f) asked me what happened to my arm, and I explained as above. S (34f) looked at it, and the following conversation ensued:

S: "You should photograph it and keep it as evidence." Me: "Evidence for what? Being clumsy?" S: "No, in case you and your husband ever divorce." Me: "What do you mean? He didn’t do anything, and I'm not even sure where this bruise came from."

S: "I know, but you still need to protect yourself just in case he ever leaves you." M: "What are you even talking about?"

S went on to explain that she has a folder on her phone where she saves pictures of every bruise and injury she and her kids (10m & 7m) have had during her marriage. She does this so she could put together a domestic violence case against her husband if they ever split up, and he tried to take the kids from her or fight her for alimony.

I asked her if any of these injuries were ever caused by him, and she said no. She confirmed that he never laid a hand on her or the kids; this was simply her "insurance." I admittedly lost my temper a bit and told her that’s borderline psycho.

I explained that stuff like this immensely hurts actual victims of domestic violence, and I find her line of thinking frankly disgusting. M agreed with me and said that it's in no way okay. She became defensive and said she didn't plan on ever using it; it was just insurance, and I would be glad to have it when my husband leaves me for a younger, hotter girl.

At that point, I just called her delusional and told her to get help. I paid for my coffee and went home. After thinking it through and talking to my husband about it, I decided to notify S's husband about our talk. I believed he had a right to know and to protect himself.

He was baffled but thanked me for telling him. I didn’t hear anything about it for a couple of days, but yesterday S started blowing up my phone, claiming I ruined her marriage. She called me a spiteful, jealous b!tch and accused me of wanting to f*ck her husband and destroy her family.

I hung up and blocked her number, but she then blew up my husband's phone, telling him I’m having an affair with her husband. He told her to F off. Apparently, her husband went through her iCloud and found the folder and also evidence of her cheating on him. He confronted her, and all hell broke loose; he is leaving her.

I personally don’t think I did anything wrong, but M said that while what S was doing was crazy, I broke the girl code by telling her husband since it was none of my business. I could’ve just told him should it ever have come to a divorce and she'd try to use it, especially since S had been a stay-at-home mom for the last 10 years, and he financed their whole life; she is left with nothing.

Here are some of the top comments from the post.

That_Guy_Pen says:

NTA (Not the A*^hole) you killed a marriage, but saved a man from a life being cheated on and the impending threat of falsely being labeled an abuser if either one wanted to leave one day.

That's a psycho friend and if one of the boys did something just as crazy, I'd tell their girl. He wouldn't be one of the boys anymore.

JohnnyKingos says:

NTA, you probably saved this man and his children a lot of troubles, pain and potentially jail time. She is not "borderline psycho," she is a dangerously manipulative individual who is willing to destroy lives if it is advantageous for her. In addition, there is no such thing as a "girl code" and the world would be a better place without this kind of cr*ppy reasoning.

IAndaraB says:

Not sure what the answer is here other than the fact that "girl code" and "bro code" are both complete bullsh%t. Also, S needs professional help and is the architect of her own misfortune.

What do you think? Should OP have abided by the laws of girl code or was she right to go behind her friend's back and tell her husband?