Woman 'gatekeeps pregnancy' from far less pregnant friend, 'I just hit my breaking point.' AITA?
"AITA for 'gatekeeping pregnancy' from my far less pregnant friend?"
Ok so for background, I(32f) am 41 weeks pregnant. Yes, I am a full week past my due date, I'm scheduled to be induced later this week if nothing happens naturally but that's besides the point. It's not as bad as you might think, but I'm definitely uncomfortable and have been for a while now. I am also, obviously, enormous. 41 week old baby. Still inside me. Very big.
Yesterday a few of my friends came over to keep me company because I can't do much other than lay around at home. One of them, we'll call Jessica, is currently 17 weeks along herself, and has basically only started showing in the last few weeks but since then has almost exclusively only worn low cut shirts that show off her bump.
Not my thing but to each their own of course. Anyway, my friends were all being very nice and sympathetic to me, talking about how hard it must be etc, but almost every time they would do so Jessica would interject and agree, but include herself as if they had been talking to both of us.
I could tell the other two also thought it was weird, but we all just kept ignoring it. Yes, pregnancy is hard no matter how far along you are...but like, c'mon. It finally came to a head when I shifted myself a little on the couch, and my shirt rid up a bit. One of my other friends said something sympathetic like "that must be so annoying", and before I could even respond Jessica just says "You have noooo idea, it's so hard being huge like me and Nicole (me, but fake name), literally nothing fits anymore."
I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes as I guess I just hit my breaking point. I don't even know how to describe the feeling, it was almost like stolen valour or something? Just to paint a picture, she was sitting next to me on the couch and looked like she had just eaten a big lunch, and I might as well have been Violet Beauregarde lol. I am seriously like 5x bigger than her.
I don't even remember exactly what I said, but I just said something about how we are not really in the same boat, and that she is choosing to wear small clothes. She got all huffy and upset and claimed that I was "gatekeeping the hardship of pregnancy from her just because I'm further along."
It's not the end of the world or anything, and both my friends and my husband agreed I was right, but I also don't know if they're just doing that because they don't want to disagree with me right now lol. So, AITA? Was I gatekeeping her?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
flowerpetalizard said:
Everything sucks when you go over your due date. Only some things suck when you’re in the second trimester. And that’s coming from someone who could hardly keep food down for 15 weeks.
The ending was a torture unlike any other. Just wait for that sweet revenge when she reaches the end. If she doesn’t go over her due date, you’ll be able to say “just imagine if you had gone as long as me!” And if she does, you’ll be able to say “ah yes, I remember how bad that was.” And it will drive her crazy that you’re taking the focus back onto yourself. NTA.
forgetregret1day said:
Oh for the love of dog, she needs to get a real problem to worry about. I’ve heard a lot of weird stuff these days but “gatekeeping pregnancy” is now in my top 5 reasons to roll my eyes at anyone who dares say it around me. She’s a pick me girl and was irritated that you were getting attention she wanted. Good luck to her if she goes 41 weeks too. It’s not fun, mine was 4 days late and 9 pounds. You don’t poke an overdue woman, that’s a known fact. Ignore her, you did absolutely nothing wrong. NTA.
Imaginary-Yak-6487 said:
NTA, congratulations on your upcoming birth & hope everything goes well. I went 43 weeks & I was miserable & felt like a land whale. Had to be induced. My son was just laying up in there putting on the pounds. He weighed 10.9.
canyonemoon said:
NTA. She knows you two are not dealing with the same issues. She sounds like she has a major case of main character syndrome, though, and can't stand that everyone's sympathies are directed at you. Hope you get to meet your baby soon!
superflex said:
NTA. She was shamelessly attention seeking.
capernaper said:
NTA, your friend is in for it when she gets to that point in pregnancy. You weren’t “gate keeping” a damn thing. When she goes on and on throughout the rest of your pregnancy, you can remind her you experienced it not that long ago and can show her how ridiculous she is being.