Woman gives away baby shower gifts she bought for 'less fortunate' friend. AITA?
"AITA for giving away my friends baby shower gifts that I got her?"
My friend (28f) has always been less fortunate than me( 28f).(this is pertinent to the story) It never bothered me. I valued her friendship, and I happily paid for outings, and I would drive up to an hour to visit her some weeks. But throughout our friendship, I always felt used.
She'll call me to hang out and then when I got there her car broke down and she needed someone to take her to the shops. Or she'll say she's going to pay for something and then when we get there her wallet was always missing. Small things like that.
Then she got pregnant and for a while we w3ere actually very close. Because we both always wanted to be mothers, and I think losing my job bonded us a little more. 3 months later I got a new job and she suddenly just stopped talking to me. I think she was jealous because she's been job hunting for 4 years now.
(It could be a lot of things). But I kept reaching out. Asking her about the pregnancy. When we can visit and such. She always either blew me off or responded a week later.
I asked her before Christmas what she wanted as a gift for 1. Christmas and 2. the baby. She wanted that Revlon curl brush hair dryer for herself and then for the baby she send me a list of things that I could choose from.
I bought the Revlon thing and then a few things for the baby. A lot of diapers, clothes, necessities and I bought this play thing that was a little expensive. (Please note I CAN absolutely afford it. The previous job I lost because they were bankrupt). So I had a lot of presents for her.
I called her before Christmas and asked what they were doing because I couldn't visit my family on Christmas day and I wanted to know if she and her bf would come over and we could do Christmas together. So she knew I was alone on Christmas day. She said she and her bf where doing something with his family. I was like okay that's chilled. We can meet up in the New Year.
The day after Christmas I see a lot of pics of her and her bf visiting one of his friends 15 min away from where I live. I asked her like why she didnt tell me. She was like "oh yeah"...She forgot about me.
We didn't really speak after that. She rocks up yesterday and calls me put of the blue asking me if I wanted to go to her baby shower this Sunday. I tell her it's a little bit late notice because it's my dad's birthday on Saturday and I was planning to go there.
She said my dad will understand if I leave on Sunday because she needed a lift to the shower anyway and no one could take her. And she really wanted all the gifts that I bought. I asked her how long she knew about the shower. She literally said 2 months.
So I said I'll think about it. Proceeded to return the hair dryer, the expensive baby play thing. And I gave away all the diapers and clothes and other things to a women's shelter. Because I decided that I'm done. With her. I messaged her that I won't be able to make it and she messaged me back when she can expect the presents then.
I told her I gave them away. Proceed 10 missed calls and a lot more messages calling me a b. And I know how she needs those things. So was I being the ahole when I did that?
EDIT:
Edit: To everyone mentioning thay I'm self-centered, money centered, and that I made this post for attention. You got me! But for real. I made this post because I felt guilty about giving the things away. Because I do know that she's is struggling to get a job and her bf doesn't pay very well. So all the nappies could have been needed. I have guilt about that.
I'm so sorry if reading about my finances is a bore. Let met just say, I know how blessed I am. But I also know how hard I've worked to get what I have. I didn't receive a full ride to uni. It was on scholarships. My parents were not well off, but they did make slightly (not a lot) more than hers.
If that sounds bad, I'm sorry. But I was put into this position where I do have the financial means to pay for things. I know I'm lucky. I also know that it can be taken away from me in a flash.
Never once did I throw my money in her face. Never once did I ask her to pay for anything. I know this is very hard to believe and maybe I do see how my post comes of as being a money centered bitch but I always just wanted to hang out with her. Be a friend to her. If you have any advice on how my post can sound any better please let me know.
But I've read so many posts here on Reddit where people complain about how much they had spent on someone and how little money they had for it just to come out later that the person complaining was never having hardships. I can afford the gifts I got her. If that makes me a terrible person then sorry.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Lurker_the_Pip said:
Sometimes when you need to get rid of a user…You have to burn a bridge. You did that. Good! Now you can be free of her. NTA.
PaceNo4108 said:
I think NTA. Invited to a baby shower only because she needed a ride? That sucks and I am sorry.
1000thatbeyotch said:
NTA. She should have invited you to the shower at the very least when all of the other invites were sent out.
lanurk said:
NTA. Do not listen to her when she starts being nice again. In fact, block her on all your socials and live happily ever after without that user.
Lady_Munro said:
NTA - question though, you bought her a very nice Christmas present, did she ask you what you wanted and did she then purchase it for you? This relationship is just very one sided and good for you for finally removing that negativity from your life.
qtcyclone said:
NTA, and good riddance. Better you end it now before she starts using you for constant last-minute free babysitting.