Woman has no empathy for sister after she lied about $2,500 loan, 'I don't care about her heartbreak.' AITA?
"AITA for not having empathy for my sister because she lied to me?"
Two weeks ago, my (21F) sister Mae (25F) asked me for a loan of $2,500 because she was stuck in a foreign country and had an emergency. She’s never asked me for money before and made it sound really urgent so I sent it to her. She didn’t explain what happened in the moment and said she would explain when she got back and would pay me back immediately she was back home. She got back home and she asked if she can pay me back in monthly instalments over 2 years. I said “what??? First of all, what happened and why do you need 2 years to pay me back?”
She explained that she met a man there a few days into her trip and he pretended to be in love with her, and manipulated her into giving him $2,500 so he can take her to a romantic island but he ended up taking off immediately after she withdrew the money and gave it to him. She couldn’t find him anywhere after that and hasn’t heard from him since. She said she can’t afford to just give me the $2,500 back because she doesn’t make a lot of money at her job.
At this point I was getting pissed off. I told her that she purposely misled me into thinking that there was an emergency and that’s why I sent her the money without thinking twice. I told her she knew that I wouldn’t have sent it if she told me the real reason and also that she wouldn’t be able to pay me back immediately. She said she’s sorry but she’s still heartbroken about what he did to her and she can’t go back in time to take her actions back.
I told her honestly I don’t care about her heartbreak right now because she chose to deceive me for a man she had known for just a few days. I told her I’m not going to pay the price of her idiocy and she needs to pay me the full amount asap, and I’m not joking. She said all she can spare is $100 a month and I said she better look into an extra part time job then because I don’t care. I’m not waiting 2 years to get the full amount back. It’s not money I can just spare because I don’t have much money either.
Our other sister agrees that what Mae did was stupid but thinks I should give her grace and be more understanding because it isn’t her fault. I guess I just struggle to see how it’s not her fault? She made the choice to take that money from me and hide the real details, no one forced her to do that. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
rationalboundaries said:
NTA. "Not her fault." On what planet?? 100% her fault. She lied to you because she knew you'd be unwilling to enable her stupidity. That was a choice.
mexican_pineapple said:
NTA. Looks like the scammed became the scammer. And what heartbreak? I’d be too busy feeling super foolish for believing a stranger in a foreign country fell in love with me leading me to give him $2,500. She told you what she needed to say to get you to send her that money. I think I’d keep nagging her for it.
idfc2906 said:
Well ask your sisters who tells to give her a chance to split the bill...all's forgiven...definitely NTA.
Readsumthing said:
NTA and take out all of the romantic scam smokescreen flimflam bullshit - Your sister deceived YOU! She SCAMMED you! She pretended to have an emergency in a foreign country, so that she could, in fact, use YOUR MONEY, To go on holiday. The ONLY reason you know where and what your money was actually for, is that SHE got scammed by someone better at it than she is. The audacity. Good luck ever seeing your money again…the stones on that chick! Huh. If it were me, it’s the last thing my sister would EVER see from me, including my face.
Artshildr said:
NTA. She knew what she was doing was wrong, or she wouldn't have lied to you about it.
OttersAreCute215 said:
NTA. Why should you wait two years to bail your sister out? That is crazy? She has to figure out how to pay you back fast.