Woman hides pregnancy information from mother-in-law, 'my husband was HIGHLY distracted last time.' AITA?

"AITA for withholding pregnancy information from my mother-in-law..."

I 25F, am currently 14 weeks pregnant, when we found out about the pregnancy on new year, we shared the news with my MIL. Shortly, we called her, she was on speaker when my husband broke the news. He told her we are pregnant! Great news for us.

His step dad didn’t hear what was said and nagged her to share the news (I could hear him over the call) she said “she is pregnant again” with a lot of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Later she explained to my husband that she was just worried about him.

So now to today and why I am writing this post, I am withholding information about the pregnancy since that phone call. She continuously asks how far along I am, if I will find out the gender and when my due date is. Very harmless and normal questions. But…from my experience with my son (21 Months) she was asking in the last month of pregnancy, every week...

If I went into labor, then everyday in the last week leading to the due date, and every day past the due date. She kept insisting she needs to be informed ASAP and it’s very important to her. When she insisted to be in the labor room, I said no. She insisted to be in the hallway, I said no.

Then she pulled the card “but your mom is going to be there, why can’t I be? I won’t get in the way." My mom was no where near the hospital when I was in labor, neither did I ever ask or mention her potentially being there. I only wanted my husband by me.

My husband told his step dad that I went into labor after I asked to keep it to ourselves, after his mom’s shenanigans. So he broke my trust while I was vulnerable. I was in labor for 32 hours. I could hear her call him every hour, he would constantly leave the room, and leave me alone.

He was highly distracted. When he stopped answering her calls she started spamming his phone with texts. And apparently she was bugging my mom for any information about the labor. Currently...I avoid topics of pregnancy.

Hide under oversized clothes when I am around her, shoot her down when she brings up any pregnancy related stuff. Act stupid like I never got the due date. And that I am not sure what the gender would be, no point guessing, that I don’t care about the pregnancy, and I am busy with work.

I feel like I am the ahole. But I want to have some privacy, and go through labor and have my husband’s attention on me, and I want to have a few days after the labor where I don’t answer calls or expected to send photos or allow people to visit.

I don’t think I ask for a lot. But AITA? I am withholding information from my family too, and my FIL (husband’s biological dad) even though they never wronged me. They don’t pester me to tell them anything, and they respect my decisions.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

murphy2345678 said:

Your biggest problem is your husband. He was the one neglecting you during labor.

PersimmonBasket said:

NTA but your husband is, and so is his mother. I'd seriously be looking for another person to support you during labor, because he can't be trusted. Either that or he mutes his mother's phone number for the duration. Better still, he can leave his phone in your hospital bag so he can't be distracted like a cat following a laser pen.

Skyward93 said:

ESH- You’re being an ahole to yourself. I wouldn’t be putting up with that kind of stress during pregnancy. Get your husband to talk to your MIL. She needs to back down or it’s going to ruin the entire experience for you.

radicalcoach said:

I’m not sure I understand. Have you told her that you are not giving her any information because she’s an annoying pest that gives you stress and anxiety and you refuse to have that during your pregnancy? Time for brutal honesty. If you piss her off enough, she’ll leave you alone. NTA.

Responsible_Pass_482 said:

NTA, but your husband definitely is! I can't believe he kept taking her calls when you were in labor, I would be furious. This time round he absolutely needs to be on the same page of not telling his parents when you are in labor. If he breaks your trust again I would seriously consider divorce.

Lori_D said:

NTA, but don’t act dumb or beat around the bush, tell her straight out that you’ll share only what you want to share, period. And the more she asks, the less you’ll share. I’d also be having a stern word with your husband because his behavior during your last Labour is not ok. When you go into labor, ensure your phones are switched off until you’re ready to share your news.