Woman 'humiliates' boyfriend in front of family by lying about dessert, 'he took a second piece!' AITA?
"AITA for lying to my boyfriend about what I fed him for dessert?"
Hi! So I (24f) have a boyfriend (24m). I'm from Poland and he's from Spain. Since we met almost 1 year ago, he never tried any Polish food that me or my family prapered for him. If he just said...."no thanks," I would be fine. But he always comments on how disgusting it is, asks how could we even eat that, and he gags for the whole meal.
He never even tried that food! We argued about it a few times, because I think that he's behavior is unacceptable, but he said that this food is just horrible and he's allowed to have preference.
Four days ago, at a family dinner when my mom asked him if he would like some Gołąbki (Google translates it as a cabbage rolls, not sure if it's the same thing) he one again gaged, covered his mouth and said that he could never eat that. I was furious with him and told him to apologize. He refused and there was a tense mood throughout the rest of the lunch.
After lunch it was time for a dessert. My mom made Sernik, which is simillar to cheescake, but it's made with cottage cheese. My boyfriend refused to try that before, but this time my mom covered it in chocolate so it looked a little different. When he asked what's that, I quickly said that it's some store bought cake. My family didn't correct me and we all ate in peace.
My boyfriend even took a second piece! He asked where we bought that. Then I told him that it's Sernik that my mom made with cottage cheese. He looked at me a little confused and then told my mom it is good.
I was happy with the result of my litte lie, but on our way home he started yelling at me, how could I humiliate him like that in front of my family and how could I lie about what he's going to eat when he already told me that it's disgusting. I asked him what his problem was because he liked the cake, but he said that I didn't respect him and his boundries and he's not talking to me until I apologize.
It's been four days, he's not answering my messages and I'm having doubts if he's right? AITA? He's not allergic, doesn't have any intolarance and he isn't on diet that would made him not to eat a Sernik btw.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
I had my daughter's friend over for a sleepover and said I was cooking "Puerco Asado, red beans and rice and Yucca with mojo" she said she didn't know if she would like it because she doesn't always like that sort of thing. I said if she didn't, I'd happily do something else. However, she happily gave it a try 3 or 4 mouthfuls to fully assess flavour, etcetera. She then apologised and said she didn't like it.
I said, "It's okay. You tried, and that's fine. Even though she had a feeling she might not like it, she still gave it a go. Afterwards, I made something else. My point is that even a 10 year old still tried food of a different culture without immediately saying no. She also said she happily try another cuban dish.
Wow. This kid was so assertive she told in advance she might no like it, decided to try it and instead of having a bad time and lying told you the truth very politely??? I'm impressed, she must have great parents and be a great influence
NTA, but I wouldn't stay with a guy like that. Being picky with food is one thing, but the clearly disrespectful behavior towards you and your family? Not even wanting to try? Sorry, but that has nothing to do with being a picky eater or certain nationalities - that's just flat out rude. Sorry you have to deal with that. 🫤
NTA, but break up with him; his attitude to your culture is disgusting, and he’s rude to your family as well as you. Why are you with him?
NTA.
But he is. Sounds like quite an entitled one. 24 y.o and gagging to food that is offered to him? Or your bf is on the spectrum or you have a child, not a boyfriend.
P.S.: Just out of curiosity, do you have siblings?
Because if someone gags to food my mom cooked in front of me, I dont think I would take a peaceful approach to that :D
LazyCatGarfield OP:
I do. My 13 yo brother and 17 yo sister were present but too shy to comment. I don't blame them. I'm an adult and didn't react properly and they are still kids that should be protected
Later, OP edited the post to include:
Edit 1: O wow, I didn't expected so many comments in two hours. Thank you so much for all of them! Many questions why are we together? I study in Spain, met him at a university and he and his friends are kind of my spanish family now. He is usually a sweet and funny guy, just not a Polish fan.
We visted my family for two days, Friday and Saturday, and when we were coming back to Spain he snaped about sernik. Not sure if I continue this relationship but it's scary to be alone in forein country and lose almost every friend I have now. Is sernik worth it?
He's still an amazing boyfriend who cares about me, light up my day...If you ever been in love you would understand the feeling. Still not sure if I should apologize, because his behavior was very childlish and disrespectfull as many of you said, but lying wasn't the best option so I think I'm guilty of that.
Edit 2: Oh my this already have over 1500 comments, I try to read as many as I can but cannot promise anything. Anyway, thanks for the responces, it opened my eyes a lot and made me do some actions. I talked to my parents about this, apologized for bringing him with me and not kicking him out. Also disscused with them his behavior towards me and them.
I found out that not only he was disrespectful about the food, but when I went to the toilet and my family tried to engage a conversation, he was just nodding or shaking his head, without trying to respond properly. I texted him that we need to talk face to face and if he's not gonna answer me by tomorrow, I'll end it by sending him a message.
Do I have another choice? I will apologize for lying about Sernik, because I think that's my mistake but the rest is on his side. Thank you for all your comments! Miłego dnia! Adiós!