Woman asks if she's a hypocrite for not getting childcare to attend friend's wedding.

Have you ever had to eat your own words?

Reddit user u/Secret-Direction7103 knows this feeling all too well. When she got married she sent out a scathing social media post blasting anyone that couldn't attend her wedding due to distance, budget, or lack of childcare. Now the shoe is on the other foot. She is a married mom of two who doesn't have a babysitter or the funds to attend a good friend's wedding.

Now, this former Bridezilla is asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for not attending my friend's wedding?'

She writes:

I'd like to acknowledge that I was TA eight years ago along with being a major bridezilla. I had my wedding on a Wednesday afternoon, we were late sending out invites, and many of my guests had to take off from work and travel several hours to be there.

When many people declined, I took to Facebook and went on a rant about people not making time for the important things and being terrible friends and relatives. I am ashamed of this and hate that I did this.

An old friend of mine, Paul, had just started a new job, took the day off work, drove 5 hours, and gave us a very generous gift. I was so touched and still remember how nice it was to see him.

Life is different now. We have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. Paul is getting married in October. It's 5 hours away. We got the save the date and the invitation. I tried to get childcare for the day, but no relatives are willing to do it and we cannot afford a babysitter. It's my day off and my husband is hourly so taking the day off would mean no income and we'd have to pay a sitter.

'I apologized to Paul and told him that we could not arrange childcare that day and it was a far distance to travel so we could not be there. He replied that was why he had given us plenty of advanced notice so that childcare would not be a problem.'

I was a bit taken aback but didn't say anything further. When I spoke to my sister, she reminded me of my post, specifically calling out people who didn't get babysitters, people who wouldn't take off work, and those who wouldn't travel for my wedding.

I explained that I regretted my words, that I had grown up a lot, and as my life had changed I recognized I had been unfair. My sister replied that I hadn't changed, I just wanted different rules to apply to me when the shoe is on the other foot.

She told me I at least owed it to Paul to send a monetary gift equivalent to what he gave me. I explained that we literally cannot afford to give a gift right now, and I feel terrible. AITA?

Reddit users have a message for this former Bridezilla, you're 'The A**hole,' honey. She may have seen the error of her ways after having kids and a busy schedule of her own, but she should absolutely make an effort to attend her friend's wedding and buy him a gift. As they say, karma's a b*tch.

From summerlong1655

Well, lol. YTA. Your sister isn’t wrong. You haven’t really changed, you are just on the other side of the situation now so you can understand how difficult it was for everyone before and how rude you were.

Despite Paul giving ample notice, and you still having time to figure things out, you decided to just tell Paul you can’t find child care and can’t go to his wedding. You literally made no effort. You can’t find a way to make a few bucks? Get a friend/family to baby sit? Given how much effort he made for you and the lack of effort you are giving in return YTA.

From Electrical-Date-3951

Agreed. Paul sounds like he was a great friend. He went far out of his way to attend OP's wedding and gave a generous gift.

OP is now on the other side and doesn't want to be bothered to make arrangements despite having ample notice or to send a gift. Sister is right....

From loloannd

Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it? YTA. If you can’t attend, then you can’t attend. That happens to people sometimes regardless of how much notice they’re given. But it is so unbelievably ironic that you were such a judgmental nightmare during your wedding, and now that you’re in the same position you put many of your guests, and you make excuses.

Your sister is right, you just don’t want the rules to apply to you. You’re a hypocrite, and that makes you an asshole. You’ll probably lose your friend over this, and I don’t blame him.

From killakween_

YTA. Regardless of what you put on social media then or how you feel about it now… Paul was a real friend and made a big effort at short notice to be there for you. You’ve got time to plan and you just aren’t going to bother? Wow.

From RelevantPlastic2245

YTA. I always wondered what happens to the bridezillas after getting married. They stay as bridezillas huh? Your sister is right, you should At least give him a monetary gift more than what he gave you 8 YEARS ago. It’s honestly the least you could do.

From theoreticalsandmore

YTA- I am glad you learned your lesson from your own wedding, but part of learning that lesson is making up for the fact that you did say those words. An attendance or nice, thoughtful gift is the least you can do.

From IamForester

YTA. Wow, you have double standards. You may not have a friend after his wedding if you miss his. Good luck with that!

From peculiah

YTA - sorry. Please try and convince someone to take care of the kids so you can attend the wedding. It would clearly mean a lot to him!

From SoupNo682

YTA. If you don't have a sitter, leave the children with your husband and travel alone. If you don´t have money for the flight, travel by autostop. If you can´t afford a present, make a photo frame out of pasta noodles

From FunkU247365

YTA - Your sister is right..... sorry, it sounds like you are changing the rules to suit yourself as you go!