'AITA for kicking my son and his GF out?' UPDATED 3X

"AITA for kicking my son and his GF out?"

I (55f) have two children: George (31m) and Gabrielle (29f). Gabrielle recently got engaged, and I am helping her plan the wedding in my spare time, which the entire family is very excited about, except for George.

George recently divorced his wife of 7 years, Susanna (28f), after he said the "spark had gone out." They have a set of twins together, Amy and Alice (6f), and are trying to set up a healthy co-parenting relationship.

Susanna is a great mother to my grandkids, and I was disappointed in George for giving up so fast on their relationship without even trying couples counseling. But it wasn't my business or place to say anything.

The drama started when George brought his new girlfriend to dinner at my house. He met his girlfriend, Bethany (25f), through a work colleague, and they have been dating for four months.

At dinner, Gabrielle and I were discussing flower arrangements, and Bethany felt the need to ask George if he'd ever marry again. George coughed before replying that he'd have to think about it, which Bethany seemed to deflate at.

Well, this caused Alice to cry about how she wants "mommy and daddy to love each other again." George and Bethany just sat there while my granddaughter screamed. After I comforted Alice, I pulled George aside and asked if he was sure about Bethany. He told me it was none of my business.

I told him it was my business who he invited into my home and my grandchildren's lives, since I've been caring for them in my spare time while he works (he and Susanna have 50/50 custody).

George got angry and said it was Gabrielle's fault for mentioning weddings in the first place. I told him to stop acting like a child and to be happy for his sister. Then Bethany felt the need to insert herself and tell me that she and George were together, no matter how much I liked his ex-wife.

After that, I was done with the conversation and asked them both to leave. George and Bethany stormed off, flipped me the bird, and left my grandchildren at my house at 7 pm. I had to call Susanna to collect the children since they had school in the morning, and I was attending a cake tasting with Gabrielle the next day.

I feel like I shouldn't have to tell my 31-year-old son to be happy for his sister or argue with a random woman whom I have never met before in my own home. So, AITA?

OP provided an update:

Bethany came to my house to apologize for how she acted at dinner last week. She told me that she was two months pregnant, and George had broken up with her after she told him because he "has too much responsibility" and didn't want to be in the baby's life.

I then spent the better part of three hours talking with Bethany about the baby and what she wants. She says she wants to keep the baby even if George refuses to be in its life, and I told her that I would help with childcare if she needs it since she doesn't have any family that lives nearby.

Before I got angry with George, I thought I would call him and give him a chance to explain. George was angry that Bethany had shown up at my house and insisted that it wasn't his baby. I told him that he should get a paternity test, and he asked me for $500 to cover it since he's struggling.

I told George that he needs to figure it out himself since he's about to be a father of three and that he better step up and do right by his kids. George then hung up.

Well, two hours later, I get a call from Susanna to say that George hadn't picked up the kids like he'd previously agreed to, and could she drop them at my place because she had work. I agreed for her to drop Amy and Alice off and tried to call George again. I called 12 times, and they all went to voicemail.

I don't know where George is and have called his place of employment to try to find out; however, they refused to tell me anything. I've agreed to watch Amy and Alice until Wednesday, and Susanna has reported this incident to CPS. I assume she plans to file for full custody, and I can't blame her.

Right now, I'm worried that George has run off somewhere or done something irresponsible. I am disgusted and will not be doing him any favors in the future unless he has a very good explanation and accepts some responsibility. This was hard to write but felt good to get off my chest.

OP provided another update:

In my first post, people suggested I give George some space and time to figure things out as a recently divorced father, but after he ran off around two months ago, I ended up filing a missing persons report. I talked to George's workplace the day after I filed the report, and they told me he had given his two weeks about a month ago.

I then tried calling George again, and he finally picked up. He told me he was okay but had moved states and no longer wanted any contact with his children because it was all too much responsibility for him.

I snapped at George and told him he couldn't just decide now he didn't want to be a father. Then George told me he never wanted kids in the first place and "those kids don't look anything like me anyway." George then told me to F off and hung up the call.

After that, I informed the police department what had happened to let them know George wasn't in any danger and that we knew his whereabouts. After that happened, I just cried because I couldn't believe I had raised such a selfish person.

Susanna has filed for full custody, and George, as far as I know, is refusing to pay child support and will probably end up in jail at some point. Bethany is now 4 months pregnant and is having a boy, and George is the father. Somehow he managed to come up with the $500, so he will have to pay child support since he doesn't plan on being in the baby's life.

Bethany moved into my home in November since she's had trouble doing things herself, and her doctor says she's at risk of pre-eclampsia if she becomes too stressed during the pregnancy. In that time, we have gotten closer, and despite how our first meeting went, I actually have come to like Bethany.

Sorry this isn't the happy ending some of you were expecting. I have been following the advice I received from the first post, and I have not contacted George, and he has not tried to contact me.

I can only hope with time he pulls himself together and manages to step up as a father. Again, thank you to everyone who gave helpful advice. I'm not sure if I will be updating further, however.

Here are some of the top comments from the post:

Myfourcats1 says:

Does George think moving to another state will keep him from owing child support? Why have unprotected sex if you never wanted kids? Why with a girlfriend of four months? Now he’s got child support payments to two different women.

GNU_PTerry says:

God, that last paragraph. There's going to be so much drama if Bethany is that delusional. That she got pregnant four months into dating is a little worrying too. Hope the little one doesn't get caught in the crossfire.

ckptry says:

Good on OP for treating the mothers of her grandchildren with dignity and kindness, and for prioritizing the wellbeing of her grandchildren.

Anyone wanting to say that she was a bad person because of George’s actions forgets that this is a 30 year old man who was recently married and has allegedly been adulting for years. His actions, his behaviour, his lack of responsibility are his fault. No one else’s. He’s a loser and I’m glad his mother will ensure that he is held accountable.

peter095837 says:

What a frustrating mess. Deadbeat parents are just selfish, cowards and plain losers and George is definitely the definition of a deadbeat parent. I can't imagine how hard it must feel when you did your best to raise someone the best you could, only for them to turn into selfish people.

I am happy that Susanna got custody of the kids but it's still sad all around. OP sounds sweet and I wish for OP and the others for the best.

What do you think? Was OP wrong to call out George?