Woman leaves fiancé because of his obsession with breastfeeding, 'he said it would be weird to breast feed a boy.' AITA?

Woman leaves fiancé after he admits to her why he wanted her to breastfeed.

Conscious-Mine9993 writes:

I have recently explained to my friend why I am a single mum to my now 9yo. To give as much context, I’ll start from beginning. I was an only child to a single mum. we moved to London when I was in year 11 so I hardly made any friends and was quiet shy.

I made some in college, and through one of them, I met my ex fiancé Harry. He was the total opposite of me. Extroverted, confident and good looking. He said he liked my accent and kept encouraging me to talk. A few weeks later we start dating.

Anyways fast forward to when I was 22 and he was 23, we are engaged and I found out I’m pregnant. I tell him and he’s happy even though it’s unplanned, he’s really happy about it. But we know nothing about raising babies since I was an only child and he was the youngest of two. I was shy of going to a parenting class so we just got tips from YouTube.

One night we came across a feeding channel and he was really interested and adamant he’d want our baby to be breastfed. I didn’t mind either way. The more videos he watched, the more he wanted the baby to be a girl because he said it would be weird if I breastfed a boy. I thought it was a weird comment but I brushed it off.

A few months later our daughter Holly is born. A little complications as she was early and had some problems latching on. I bottle fed her for the first few weeks after nursing her because she wasn’t getting enough from my breasts alone. Harry was really supportive. He would feed me a lot and give me water to help my produce more milk, he would be watching breastfeeding videos late at night to try and get more information for me.

He would hold our baby to my breast and squeeze to try and feed her while I dosed off. I did notice every time he did that, he would go to the bathroom for a short time like 2 minutes and wash his hands.

He did sometimes get milk on it because sometimes it’s squirt in different direction but I didn’t think he was disgusted by it because he would ask to try some. However, he didn't seem to mind when milk leaked during intimate moments. So I thought it was wierd he would be scrubbing the milk off his hands.

I finally asked him why he always washed his hands every time he helps to breastfeed but he just looked embarrassed so I quickly laughed it off and changed the subject to not make things worse. That same night we were both in bed, he texted me “hey”.

I thought he was just being silly as he was right next to me so I humored him and texted back “what’s up?” He replied “I have a confession,” “please don’t judge me, it makes me feel good when you breastfeed.

I froze. My whole world came crashing down. I couldn’t see him the same way even if he was joking. I replied “okay”. He then turned and asked if I’m okay. I just said yes.

Then he turned over again and texted me if I can feed Holly again right now. I felt sick to my stomach. This is why he’s been so supportive. I said no, because she was sleeping, and he left it at that.

The following day he left for work in the morning as usual, I gave him a kiss and said I’ll call him on his lunch break. We FaceTimed on his commute as usual but as soon as he came off the phone, I got packing. Very light.

Holly was only 6 months at the time so I didn’t have a passport for her so I knew I couldn’t leave the country yet, but I sure wasn’t staying with him. I took all important documents, qualifications, baby book, clothes for a few days and just left.

I moved back to my home city, stayed with my grandmother for two months before I could rent a place for myself. I blocked Harry on everything. My FB is on private and in a different name. He can’t find me. I couldn’t trust him around Holly. Fast forward to the present, my friend says I’m TAH and I overreacted, I cheated my daughter out of a great father. Did I overreacted?

Here are some of the top judgements?

fish0814 says:

That's too weird. Wake up the baby for him? Sick sh^t. You are not wrong for leaving. Maybe you should have explained why. I had a feeling this wasn't going to end very well. He wasn't helping you get information, he was feeding himself.

ToxicChildhood says:

NTA (Not the A^@$ole). Don’t listen to those who tell you that you did the wrong thing. You didn’t. You protected your family which is what a mother is supposed to do.

Ill-Commission4121 says:

NTA. Just curious though, in 9 years he never reported you and the baby missing to the police?

What do you think? Was OP right to leave her fiancé?