Woman leaves Paris bachelorette party early after she is 'humiliated,' 'this trip is about me!' AITA?
"AITA for leaving my friend's bachelorette party early because she embarrassed me?"
I (26F) recently attended my friend Becca's (28F) bachelorette party in Paris. I had been recently diagnosed with a illness/disability that severely impacts my mobility and has led to considerable weight gain, making it difficult for me to look at myself in the mirror. I had communicated this to the bride beforehand, explaining that I would participate in photos minimally because of how much I'm struggling with self-image and serve as the designated photographer.
Upon arriving in Paris,the planning did not account for my limitations. When I suggested using Uber or taking the metro for transportation and meeting everyone at each destination, I was met with accusations of being "boring" by the bride I decided to suck it up and go through the walks, despite enduring two-hour walks and being left behind by the bridal party anyway, It again made me wonder why I was being made to put myself through pain when I would just be left behind and ignored.
I wish I was kidding when I say taking photos of the bride would last around 5 hours, and whenever any of the bridal party would branch off to do anything other than take photos of the bride, like take phone calls or even run off to get food or drinks for the room. (I think back to when I went to go get some ice to ice my ankle as well) we'd be labeled as "boring.")
The situation escalated when I was coerced into solo photos for Instagram, despite my protests due to body dysmorphia. Feeling uncomfortable and disrespected, I reluctantly complied, but waved away at the photos not wanting to look at them, and then getting a bunch of sighs and eye rolling from the bride.
We sat down to eat as a restaurant and we were made to go through photos, while eating dinner, take more photos I nodded politely I just wanted to sit, enjoy good food, talk and again I was happy to take the photos. The bride got extremely mad at me this time saying "you know you're getting on my nerves with how much you're disinterested with this, no one cares about your fat a%s or your issues, you've been ruining this whole trip for me just because you won't do what I've asked.
"Get over yourself this trip is about me!" I could feel myself starting to cry and I got up and said "you know you're right" and excused myself to the bathroom, paid my part of the bill, left the restaurant and started purchasing my Eurostar tickets, took an uber back to the hotel and packed my stuff and left for London.
Realizing I had left, I was bombarded with texts from the bridal party, accusing me of making the bride cry and labeling me as selfish. I'm left wondering if I was wrong to prioritize my well-being and peace of mind by leaving early. AITA for leaving the bachelorette party early after being shouted at and humiliated?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
_thatgirlfelicia said:
NTA. You communicated what you were comfortable with and they didn’t respect that. Your “friend” giving you a hard time about wanting to take transit/Uber to locations and then her cruel comment at the restaurant shows she’s self centred and not really your friend.
get-gone said:
NTA. Those aren't your friends. Don't give them anymore of your time. Prioritize yourself and concentrate on your health. I wish you well.
stroppo said:
Good grief! NTA. You were right to leave. I would not communicate with *any* of these folks ever again!
PMMeYourCouplets said:
NTA. You communicated beforehand what you were comfortable with, they ignored it and got mad at you for that.
Maximum-Swan-1009 said:
NTA. It is the bride who was selfish and self centered. You went past your comfort zone to accommodate her and there was no reason for you to stay to put up with her verbal abuse. Your only mistake is to refer to her as a friend, because friends do not humiliate you like this. My condolences to the groom. The first time he doesn't bow to her demands, she will call him "boring". I do not predict a long and happy marriage.
midnightsrose77 said:
NTA. That's horrid the way you were treated. You clearly communicated your abilities and needs, and the bride trampled over them. That's not how a friend acts. You did what you needed to do to take care of your physical and mental health. Ignore her and her flying monkeys!