Woman warns video game addicted husband that he'll lose everything, husband laughs her off. AITA?
Woman warns husband that his video game addiction will cost him his family.
Galaxy_Gallows writes:
My husband (30M) and I (32F) have been together for 10 years. We have two children, an 8-year-old daughter (ours) and an 11-year-old son (from my previous relationship). While he hasn't been overly active in our kids' lives, he has always shown up when it counts.
Recently, he has become more distant. He spends most evenings playing video games on his computer, often until 1 am. One weekend, there were parades and events in town that the kids and I wanted to attend.
He thought we were only planning to go to the last parade on Sunday, so we skipped the others. However, about two hours before we had to leave, he decided to stay home, citing something urgent on his computer.
Despite his absence, the kids and I had a fantastic time at the parade, collecting beads, toys, and candy. Surprisingly, they didn't seem bothered by his absence.
The following week, he wanted to start a gaming server, which required an $80 investment. I told him we could wait until I got paid in three days, but I refused to dip into our savings.
Instead, he borrowed the money from his mom without consulting me, despite knowing about our strained relationship regarding money. I expressed my disappointment, especially since it happened on Valentine's Day, and neither the kids nor I received anything from him.
The next weekend, our daughter had an art fair, and she was thrilled to showcase her work. Despite staying up until the early hours playing games the night before, my husband refused to wake up on time and ultimately decided to stay home. Although my daughter didn't seem bothered, it broke my heart.
At the art fair, I was incredibly proud of my daughter's beautiful painting. We spent time in the activity room, where my son and I joined her in coloring and crafting. She even mentioned that she preferred when her dad wasn't around because I was "more fun" and he was always "grumpy and rushed us."
Upon returning home, I found my husband once again engrossed in his computer games. When I expressed my sadness about his absence, he dismissed my concerns, leaving me feeling even more hurt and frustrated. So, am I the a%^*ole in this situation?
Here are the top comments from this post:
notyoureffingproblem says:
It seems that you and the kids are better without him, what is he bringing to the table?
miyuki_m says:
The day he wakes up alone should be tomorrow. If it doesn't shake some sense into him, make it permanent. YTA (You're the A%@^ole) for showing your daughter that it's acceptable to tolerate this kind of treatment from a partner. Women have options now. We don't have to tolerate sh%^&y men who take us for granted. That's the lesson you should be teaching your daughter.
ValleyGirlNorCal says:
So when are you going to start believing him? He's already checked out of this marriage. What about him are you expecting to miraculously change? Get your financial records in order and see an attorney.
Make sure the divorce decree/shared parenting agreement requires both of you to support your children through undergrad, and make sure you both have equal time with the kids until they graduate from high school. He is taking advantage of you while having zero commitment for the family you both have created.
BlackSea5 says:
NTA (Not the A%^&ole)- I spent 14 years with someone like that, I’ve been so happy and thriving the 2 years without him dragging me down. Please don’t waste too much more time.
Muscle-Cars-1970 says:
NTA. But it's hard to believe you typed all that out - up to and including the "whatever" while laughing at you - and asked if you're the AH. He's completely checked out. To the point that your daughter knows, and is already happier when he's not around to f*** things up with his selfishness and piss-poor attitude. You should work on that "him waking up alone" thing as soon as possible.
What do you think? Is OP right to feel bad about her husband's distance?