'AITA for ordering a giant steak against my MIL's will and refusing to cover the entire bill?'
"AITA for ordering a giant steak against my MIL's will and refusing to cover the entire bill?"
I (F27) have been together with my husband Nate for over 10 years and married for 4. I don't have the best relationship with my MIL as she always seem to police what I eat.
Everyone in my family have fast metabolism, I am also working with horses so due to this burn a lot of calories (talking about 2.5-3k a day) and usually have rather large meals to get the energy back and I still remain skinny.
Now to the event. My in-laws invited me and Nate for dinner last Friday. I was very busy back then and haven't eaten since about 6-7am and also didn't have a chance to have a snack before heading to the restaurant so I was starving (I usually have something to eat before seeing my MIL to avoid her comments).
Due to this I have ordered a large steak at the restaurant which was meant for 2 people, it also came with prawns, bacon, and 2 sides. Please note it was not the most expensive item on the menu as some of my in-laws had significantly pricier dishes and we were all splitting the bill anyway.
My MIL started making comments how I shouldn't be ordering what I can't eat since even her husband wouldn't be able to finish the dish, let alone someone my size. I smiled and said I haven't eaten since early morning and am starving, if I don't finish the steak I will take the leftovers home.
I have easily finished the steak and was waiting for my dessert, when my MIL flipped. She said I am attention seeking and was putting on a show, she also said I have made my FIL and BIL feel uneasy and that a woman shouldn't eat that much, it is unhealthy and something is wrong with me.
She has then demanded me and Nate to cover the entire bill as she wasn't planning on 'such a big expenditure.'
I said we are absolutely not covering the entire bill since it was meant to be split equally and reminded her of the dishes she ordered, that were significantly more expensive compared to my steak (including her starter). As a result I was called an ahole who has ruined a family dinner.
Nate is on my side but most of my in-laws are making very passive aggressive posts on social media about it and keep sending me different articles of 'what might cause excessive eating.'
Here's what people had to say about this steak incident:
JoeyShabadoo79 said:
NTA. I hope you stared your MIL dead straight in the eyes as you took the last bite of your steak.
Kris82868 said:
NTA. MIL needs to chill out and mind her own business.
YTA. If someone invites you and ask you to not order anything expensive, you dont order it or you pay for it.
DragonflySouth4310 OP responded:
To address any confusion, usually when we are going for dinner we split the bill equally between all parties regardless of what is ordered.
Me and Nate would have been happy to pay for only our order and tips as it would come out significantly cheaper (like the food and drinks for us would have been about 100£+15£ tip, but if splitting the bill we would have to pay 175 for food and 25 for the tip). MIL wanted us to cover the entire bill, including the in-laws full portion.
nerdygirlfire said:
NTA. Girl, eat whatever you want.
ImNiceOccasionally said:
NTA put some distance between you and these people. You'll be better off. You didn't do a damn thing wrong. I sincerely hope that steak was delicious.
PsychologicalBit5422 said:
NTA. Eat what you need and want. My Mil only eats about 2 things at restaurants. I was expected to follow the family food thing and only order certain things to keep her happy. Nope, I'm sorry but I eat this and this especially if I'm paying.
Narrow-Initiative-80 said:
You know what causes excessive eating? Hunger. Honestly, I wouldn't go to dinner with someone who wants to police my food and wants me to order less food so I'd get stuck subsidizing their expensive dishes.
In fact, I'd ask for separate checks and let them pay for their expensive dishes on their own and then not go again...with any of the passive aggressive in laws. NTA.