Woman publicly calls out male coworker during presentation. AITA? 'The room went DEAD silent.'

"AITA for publicly calling out my coworker's mansplaining during my presentation?"

I (24F) work at a tech startup where most of my colleagues are men. I've been here for 2 years and while I love my job, it hasn't been easy being one of the few women in a male-dominated space.

Last week, we had a team meeting about our upcoming project. I spent weeks researching and preparing my presentation. When I started speaking, my coworker (30sM) kept interrupting me with "actually" and "well, technically" comments. Every. Single. Time. This guy has a history of mansplaining to female colleagues while never questioning the guys.

So halfway through my presentation, when he interrupted me for the 5th time to "correct" something that wasn't even wrong, I stopped everything and said, "If you interrupt me one more time, I'm going to start a tally on the whiteboard of how many times you've done it, and we can all analyze the pattern after the meeting."

The room went dead silent. My boss looked uncomfortable but didn't say anything. The guy turned bright red and stayed quiet for the rest of my presentation. Afterward, some female colleagues quietly thanked me, saying they'd experienced the same thing. But my boss pulled me aside and said while he understood my frustration, I "embarrassed a team member" and should have handled it privately.

Here's the thing - I've tried private conversations TWICE before with this guy, and nothing changed. My male colleagues interrupt each other all the time without consequences, but when I stand up for myself, I'm "creating drama."

My boss suggested I apologize, but I refused. Now there's tension in the office, and I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA for calling out my mansplaining coworker in front of everyone?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

LimitlessMegan said:

NTA. I’d respond to my boss and say, “I have addressed this privately with him, twice. I’m sure the other women have too. As the manager of both of us it was absolutely within your power to handle and stop the behavior in a way that wasn’t embarrassing for anyone.

Why have you been making the choice to continue to let him embarrass or degrade us with these interruptions and when I finally did what I needed to to make it stop (because you didn’t) why are you choosing to chastise me while you’ve never chosen to address his behavior?”

In fact, I’d arrange to have a sit down with the boss and all the other women to have this conversation. I’d tell him you get it it’s a start up and we can all be bound to certain behaviors but you think this incident is the perfect opportunity for all of you to discuss this very real problem that is absolutely a top down problem.

SuggestionMedical736 said:

Next time, say, keep comments and questions for the end of the presentation. Then they have no choice but to shut the f up. NTA.

whattheheckOO said:

NTA, but you should go to HR to cover yourself. It doesn't sound like your supervisor is handling this well, and I don't want this to impact your career. Try to encourage your female colleagues to back you up.

big_bob_c said:

NTA. I would tell your boss "I have attempted to handle this privately, he was unwilling or unable to refrain from interrupting me. Since he stopped after I called him out in public, he obviously is able to refrain, and was unwilling to do so. You may want to discuss this with him privately, and determine exactly why he has always felt this behavior was acceptable in the past."

kilgirlie said:

If you do apologize make sure it's something appropriate like I'm sorry my reaction to your rude behavior made you uncomfortable. NTA.

Disastrous-Nail-640 said:

NTA. To boss: “I’ll handle it privately when he decides to do the same. In the meantime, if he’s going to make it public, then it’s going to be handled publicly.”