Woman refuses to attend friend's wedding over 'hideous' color scheme; AITA?
While you might not approve of every decoration or aesthetic at your friend's wedding, focusing on the theme instead of celebrating a loved one's relationship and future is a shady choice...
So, when a conflicted friend decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her friend's wedding color scheme, people were eager to weigh in on this hilarious conflict. How bad does a bridal theme have to be for it to infiltrate your dreams?
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for refusing to attend a friend’s wedding because of the color scheme?
I, 22F, am fighting with my close friend from childhood, G, 21F. Me and G have been inseparable since age 14. we are two very different souls, to put it lightly. I've been planning my wedding since i was little, knowing every detail down to the style of lace on my dress.
G didn’t even plan on getting married. when talking about her engagement to her girlfriend/fiancé L, she says “it just happened.”
i’ll admit it can drive me crazy to think this wedding is so unplanned, but to each their own. she’s having a small ceremony (L’s family aren’t supportive of queer marriage so it’s mostly close friends + G’s parents) a couple of states away.
They’re getting married in this small venue that’s in a little forest area. when they proposed this idea, i thought it was a little odd, but whatever. their cat is going to be the ring bearer, weird (but cute) to me but again, it’s their wedding. all was fine, unconventional but fine, until they showed me the colors.
I’m not kidding. I know it sounds ridiculous but the colors they chose are god awful. it’s this neon yellow/greenish color, dark orange (kind of brownish), and mint green. it is seriously the most hideous palette of colors I have ever seen.
i know it’s shallow but those colors are so uncomfortable to look at. i expressed this to G, saying it would be hard to make a nice venue with this scheme, and she brushed it off.
I let it go for the time being, but spending every waking moment looking for dehydrated piss, sad feces, and mint effing green colored decorations was weighing on me.
They showed up in my dreams. I wish I was kidding, and I wish I could say this was all made up, but no. I was having dreams where the rainbow was made up of these three colors and had this twisted, horrific smile under its dead eyes.
I’ve always had pretty weird dreams, but this has got to take the cake. it sounds so stupid but it was genuinely terrifying.
when I told this to G, she laughed. I told her I was serious and she kept laughing. I was pretty offended that she laughed at a genuine comment I was making, and told her I wouldn’t go to the wedding if the color scheme remained.
She told me I was overreacting and to take a day or two to calm down, so we left each other alone as to not provoke each other. I'm sure it’ll work out somehow, but I have to know: AITA for refusing to go to my friend’s wedding because of the color scheme?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:
friedonionscent said:
Whoooah there lady. You're a bag of nuts with a side of cashews. Firstly, not everyone dreams about their wedding down to the minute details since childhood. There's more to life than a wedding. Many people go with the flow - if it happens, cool.
If my friend decided poo brown and vomit green were the colour scheme, then color me gastro - I'll wear whatever. Why? Because it's her day, not mine.
I'm sure you've heard this before...but you need to calm down and gain some perspective. Learn to actually be a friend, not a judgemental, prissy little mosquito who thinks anything that deviates from your neurotic ideals is wrong. I say this respectfully...no one likes that person.
JunieBeth said:
YTA What a stupid thing to ruin a friendship over. It's not your wedding! It's hers and she can make her day whatever she wants it to be.
Cheque-Plz said:
YTA - grow up. You're being super immature, you are there to support your friend and her husband in their marriage which has absolutely nothing to do with aesthetic choices.
KomradeKvestion69 said:
YTA. Your post is full of not-so-subtle jabs at your friend's wedding from start to finish. Her wedding is already going to be lightly attended and this is probably making her sad.
You're making it worse by refusing to go over the absolute most petty thing I have ever heard. I get the sense that something else is going on here under the surface.
Pancake_Elbow said:
You’re jealous that your friend is getting married before you. You have been dreaming of your wedding for your entire life, but she, who has not, is swooping in and pipping you at the post. Petty. Your friend deserves a better friend than you. YTA.
No_Bus_6072 said:
YTA. For someone who keeps repeating “whatever, it’s their wedding” you sure seem to have a lot of opinions. And for some reason, you seem to think they should follow them. That level of entitlement is absurd.
I get it, you’re a wedding person, but you seem to miss the entire point of a wedding. It’s not about the decor or the music or the lace or whatever. It’s a moment for two people to share their love with their closest people.
And they can do that in whatever way they want. You were “offended” when she laughed? Cry me a river. She laughed because what you were saying is laughable. This entire post is crazy. Get a grip.
BmoreArlo said:
YTA and not a very nice person! It’s not your wedding and you’re insulting your friend. When she wasn’t receptive to your criticism and laughed it off you doubled down on your opinion, that is the opposite of what a close friend should do.
Based on this beautifully harsh feedback, the post was updated to include:
I already talked to G because I realized how, even though she didn’t really care, what I said was kind of insensitive.
G was fine with it and said that she chose unconventional colors on purpose. Also, I swear I wasn’t trying to be condescending about her other choices, I was trying to highlight just how unconventional the rest of the wedding was.
Her cat being the ring bearer is actually really cute and maybe the lesbian-ist choice she could have made, second only to getting gay married. G was fine with it, and said she was mostly concerned with how neurotic id been about the whole thing.
So I booked a therapy appointment to figure out why this whole thing bothers me so much, and me and G are doing fine :)