'AITA for not following my neighborhood's 'tradition?'' UPDATED 2X

"AITA for not following my neighborhood's 'tradition?'"

I (f25) have just moved into a neighborhood a couple weeks ago and so far it has been very peaceful. From the neighbors that have came up to me, everyone has been very friendly and welcoming which I really appreciate since I'm not from around the town.

I have noticed that some neighbors have been having frequent parties the last couple of weeks but I chalked it up to it being celebrations since I know one neighbor's daughter just graduated high school, and July 4th is coming up. I have been to some of these parties to get to know the other neighbor's better and one person who really stands out to me is this one neighbor, Melinda.

(Not her actual name) At a neighbor's party she came up to me and introduced herself and we talked for a while. This is when I learned about the "Newest Neighbor Party." Apparently, the newest neighbor is supposed to throw a grand party showing off their home and entertain the neighborhood as a whole thing.

Melinda told me since I was the newest neighbor, it was my duty to. thought Melinda was joking when she told me this as it didn't make sense to me and I laughed. This seemed to have had made Melinda a little angry, as she said she was serious and it was a tradition in the neighborhood and that I had 2 weeks to host a party.

This was 2 weeks ago. Yesterday was the day I was supposed to do this "tradition" but I happily stayed in bed. Melinda and a couple neighbors came and rang on the doorbell but I ignored them and enjoyed binge watching childhood shows. I decided to go outside today and Melinda came up to me furious, saying that I didn't do the tradition and that I was being a bad neighbor.

The thing is however, I asked some other people about this "tradition" and they have heard some people do it, but mostly never really mentioned it to be a reaccuring thing that each new person in the neighborhood should do. I told Melinda that I wouldn't be throwing a party anytime soon as I didn't feel comfortable with the thought of people coming into my home let alone me having to entertain them.

Melinda got angry, saying that the neighborhood is like a "big family" and stormed off. I let it go, but the neighbors that were with Melinda at my house that night have been telling me I should've just did the party and that I'm leaving a bad impression. I think my reason is justified, but I'm not really sure. So AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

0biterdicta said:

NTA. Look, I love a neighborhood with a good, friendly community. It really helps make the world a better place when people are kind to each other and help out. But some people, like Melinda, take it way too far. A person should host a party and open their home because they want to, not because they've been volun-told to do so.

LoveBeach8 said:

NTA. Trying to force someone to have a party that they're not comfortable having in their own home is rude af! Ignore her and the other ones trying to pressure you. None of them matter. It's not your job to do as they say and you don't have to impress anyone, least of all them.

I would get security cameras, if I were you, the kind that you control with your phone so you can see who's at your door and around your whole house. Hopefully, you won't have to call the cops on her. Enjoy your new home!

ReviewOk929 said:

NTA - Melinda needs to stop partying, it’s interfering with her touch on reality.

Icy_Cover5158 said:

Nta but this is ridiculous. There are places like this? It's not a sitcom? Cause I bought my house several years ago and still haven't met my neighbors... I recognize every dog and their general neighborhood but I wouldn't recognize them without their dog or outside of their car to door travels.

Anyway no, you don't need to do anything like throw a party. But neighborhood bullying isn't supposed to be tolerated either, right? Y'all need to stop with the whole outsiders/west side story nonsense going on here.

If the neighborhood is like a family then the home is like the bedroom, if you do not have permission to enter, then you should not enter. And locking the door is also allowed in this family scenario. No is an answer.

ArreniaQ said:

NTA, I would laugh in her face and tell her that in two weeks, I wouldn't even have my furniture arranged, no way I would be hosting a party. So, they showed up at your house without any sort of invitation or confirmation from you that you were hosting a party? They are TA.

It sounds to me like her 'party tradition' is an excuse to get in your house and see what you have so she can come 'borrow' stuff from you, because after all, the neighborhood is a big FAMILY! But I'm a suspicious, cynical sort.

This is a big NO! I have been friendly with my neighbors for over 15 years, I've never been inside their houses, and they have never been in mine. We know phone numbers so we can contact each other if something seems odd in the area, but we don't insist each other host parties.

BeckyDaTechie said:

NTA. No one gets to demand access to your home or time and resources. The next time they get mean on your porch, trespass them and let the neighbors who aren't part of their clique know that you've rejected her demands again. They'll probably know how to help you piss her off or report her to the HOA etc.

Later, in the same post, OP provided an update:

Thank you for all the comments and suggestions. I also see where I could've told Melinda that I wasn't comfortable, but from the one to two interactions I've had with her, it sounds like she wouldn't have cared regardless, but I don't want to assume. A lot of suggestions were very insightful and funny.

After I posted this I went to sleep, and decided to go out today. I didn't bump into Melinda or any of her friends, so I'm not sure about her. However some neighbors have offered to help me continue to move in by bringing boxes in.

One of these neighbors, John (not real name) has been living here for a while, and he told me he's not fond of Melinda and from what he has seen, some neighbors just try to avoid her or put up with her for the sake of it.

Someone messenged me asking how moving in was going and it has been going good but hopefully my mattress comes in soon so I can stop sleeping on the couch, it's rough. If anything crazy happens or if Melinda comes up to me, I'll let you all know. But that's really it for now since it's only been a new day.

Update: Melinda came up to me. I thought since she didn't bother me yesterday, today would be the same but it wasn't. I got out of my car and I saw Melinda ringing my doorbell like crazy and knocking hard.

I got out my car and asked her what she was doing, and she looked at me and she just looked angry and demanded an apology. I asked her an apology for what and she's saying that Im going around asking people about the tradition and if I feel so highly about it that I should just do it like everyone else has.

I think she's crazy. I told her get off my property and to leave me alone. I just left her outside because I didn't want to deal with her but i heard something fall outside and go to check a few minutes later and she kicked my plant. I guess we're in a war thing now? But who kicks plants out of rage..

Then OP came back with update 2, Fourth of July:

Hello everyone. Happy fourth. Melinda is crazy and I'm calli by it here and now. Since today is the fourth, everyone is having a big gathering in the street like a block party. I went to the store to get things for it such as hotdogs and burgers and some snacks for kids and adults because I couldn't cook anything personally.

The party is still happening, I'm writing this from the bathroom. We had all of our stuff labeled so everyone knew who to thank, and the party was going good until I see Melinda at my area of the food and she's breaking some open.

(I would be fine with this if there wasn't already hotdogs and hamburgers from other neighbors already being cooked, but the fact she skipped over about 3 other peoples stuff to open mines???)

I went to her and asked her what is she doing and I guess she didn't expect me to see because she started going on a whole spew about me getting the wrong brand of hotdogs and stuff and how I need to think about the neighborhood. It was Sabrett, and everyone brought those types.

Before I could even say anything she js walked off and luckily a neighbor saw my stuff open and offered to take it and put it in her freezer until its needed, and I'm in her house currently typing this. I feel like I'm in some weird tv show like the comments have been saying. This personal vendetta stuff is weird and annoying and it's over a home welcoming party. She's insane.