Woman refuses to give grandma's wedding ring back after she gave it to her 'by accident.' AITA? UPDATED
aid:"AITA for refusing to give my grandma back her wedding ring after she gave it to me 'by accident?'"
Ok so I know this sounds bad but hear me out My grandma (85f) gave me (26f) her wedding ring about 6 months ago during this really emotional family dinner where she was talking about getting older and wanting everyone to have something meaningful from her before she goes.
She gave me the ring because she said I was the only one who still believed in “real love” (her words not mine) and honestly I cried when she gave it to me. We hugged and everything it was a whole moment.
Fast forward to last week my cousin (29f) gets engaged and suddenly my grandma calls me and says she wants the ring back so she can give it to her. Like she actually said “I didn’t mean to give it to you permanently” and that she was just “emotional that day.”
I told her no not in a rude way, I just said like hey that ring meant something to me too and I've been wearing it every day since she gave it to me. It feels like a piece of her and it honestly helped me through a breakup recently.
She got really weird and said I was being selfish and immature and that the ring was meant to stay in the married side of the family (I’m single btw as of now things might change in the future.)
Now my whole family is saying I'm “stealing from an old woman” and “taking advantage of her memory loss” which I didn’t even know she had like no one mentioned that until now and my cousin posted some cryptic insta story about “what’s meant for you won’t be stolen by someone desperate” and I swear it was about me.
I feel like if she really gave it to me and meant it at the time, I shouldn’t have to give it back just because someone else got engaged. like that’s not my fault right? AITA for keeping the ring?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
SilentJoe1986 said:
NTA but I would give it back. In your shoes that ring would be tainted for me. It's obvious she just wants to give it to the grandkid getting married. Drop it off in an envelope with a letter. "The day you gave me this ring meant a lot to me. It was a symbol for the love and care you have for me. I guess it still is now that you've taken it back. Message received, loud and clear."
At least that's what I would do. I couldn't feel good having it anymore. I would give it back, or just pawn the damn thing. One way gets the family off your ass. The other hurts them as much as this has hurt you. It boils down to what kind of relationship you want from them going forward.
PonyGrl29 said:
NTA. But I’d give it back and let know you won’t ever accept anything from her again, since you’ll never know if you’ll be expected to give it up the next time she decides someone else deserves it more. Then walk away and drop the rope.
Bartok_The_Batty said:
NTA. “What’s meant for you won’t be stolen by someone desperate." I think your cousin is actually the someone desperate.
ShinyAppleScoop said:
NTA. Everyone at the dinner witnessed her giving you the ring. It's not like you tricked her or stole it. It's tainted now, so I would return it while burning that bridge. "Cousin, you can have grandma's ring. It used to be meaningful to me, but now it just represents how fickle and false family can be. You truly deserve grandma's ring."
Duck_Wedding said:
NTA. Sorry kiddo, your Grandma just showed who she really cares more about it seems. I’d just give ring back and thank her for showing you “ What you really mean to her” and just go no contact along with everyone else that’s been treating you poorly over this. My own grandma has a bit of a mean streak, but what just happened to you is outright cruel.
Seed_Planter72 said:
NTA. Well, that sure leaves a bitter taste! Grandma is now choosing cousin over you. I would give it back but also let her know this has seriously damaged your relationship with her. The ring just doesn't hold the meaning it had for you now. Grandma has taken that away.