Woman refuses to help her sister pay for her wedding, 'she said my job isn't a real job.' AITA?
"AITA for not helping my sister pay for her wedding after she said my job isn’t a real job?"
I (26F) work as a house manager to a family. One of my bosses is an entrepreneur/ business owner and her husband, my other boss, is a bigwig in a construction company and due to their schedules they needed a house manager.
My job is actually pretty simple. I manage the house. I do light cleaning when the housekeeper is off, run their errands, I manage all the vendors coming to the house, light cooking, laundry, maintain vehicles, take care of the animals, and do some light childcare. I drive their kids to school and afterschool activities and do some supervision when we’re home. I also maintain my bosses schedules.
I’m in charge of scheduling just about everything in their personal lives (family dinners, medical appointments, vacations) and many things in their professional lives (client meetings, work trips, etc). I make sure everything that needs to be scheduled gets scheduled and that there are no conflicts. Most everything goes through me and I have to be aware of everything going on in their lives.
I genuinely love my job. I live on site in my own private bedroom and bathroom, I’m paid wonderfully and get amazing benefits, my bosses and their children are amazing people. And contrary to what you might think, the hours are really good. I have holidays and weekends off and I’m free to choose the hours I want to work.
My sister has always looked down on my life and career and has told me several times that it’s not a real job, I’m just a glorified housewife without the benefit of “finally getting married." I’m happy single, I’ve never had an interest in marriage or kids of my own.
A few months ago my sister (22F) got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor. I let her know that while I was honored I wouldn’t have the time to do all of the things a maid of honor does and that either she’d have to have someone else do those duties or she’d have to choose another maid of honor and I’d just be a bridesmaid.
My sister was hurt and angry and said a lot of insulting things about me and my job and how it’s “not even an actual job” so why is it such a big deal? She ended up revoking her offer and demoting me to guest. Which hurt my feelings. I hadn’t heard much about the wedding until last week.
My sister called me asking if I could help cover the cost of the last vendor they needed for the wedding. Apparently she didn’t know how much flowers cost and they’d already used almost the entire budget. I laughed at her and told her that it was ironic she was asking me for money because “I don’t have a job, remember?”
Not to mention she had kicked me out of her bridal party for not having the time to do every event. My mother has called and texted me about how I’m being childish and petty and that it’s ridiculous of me to treat my sister like that and prioritize work over family. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
cute_neighborx said:
NTA. Your sister belittled your job, and now she expects you to financially support her wedding after treating you poorly it's understandable that you feel hurt and don't want to help, especially given her previous comments and actions your response is a valid expression of frustration, and your decision to prioritize your boundaries and work is not unreasonable.
LadyMoRouge said:
Since when are siblings piggy banks for weddings, anyway? So confused how she even feels entitled to your money at all, even without the history. NTA.
Kickapoogirl said:
NTA. That's what you get, when you disrespect what other people do for work. You have an amazing skill set, and will always be a valued asset, wherever you are. She could have still had you be a bridesmaid. She chose not too, her loss.
Chance_Vegetable_780 said:
NTA. Your mom can help her pay. How in their right mind can they think it's OK to criticize your job then ask you for money earned from that job? Your sister should learn not to lash out in hurt and anger. Your mother should teach her THAT. Your job sounds terrific.
Evening_Tax1010 said:
NTA - but honestly, so jealous of the family you take care of! They must be so thankful to have an amazing person be a sane, third adult in the household.
marblefree said:
NTA and your job sounds amazing. You must be an excellent organizer to be able to do this. I'd change the job title to executive assistant but seriously impressive all you able to do.