Woman refuses to lend her car to her sister, 'she got hers taken away.' AITA? 'Here's where the drama comes in.'
"AITA for refusing to lend my car to my sister after she got hers taken away?"
So I’m Clara, 20F, and I have a used but reliable little car I bought with my own money after working two jobs over the summer. It’s nothing fancy, but I love it—it gives me independence and freedom, especially since I live with my parents and my older sister, “Amy” (24F), who has a bit of a reckless side.
Here’s where the drama comes in. Amy had a nice car gifted by my parents on her 21st birthday, which she’s managed to get impounded for unpaid parking tickets and speeding violations. My parents helped her cover some of the fines last year, but she kept at it, and now she’s looking at even more debt to get her car back. Naturally, she’s feeling pretty stuck and irritated about being carless.
So Amy asked if she could borrow my car "just until she gets back on her feet," which sounds open-ended to me, knowing her habits. I told her no, explaining that I really value the independence I get from my car and feel weird letting someone else use it. But now Amy is furious with me, saying I’m selfish and should "understand how hard things are for her right now."
The problem is, my parents seem to think I’m overreacting and that I should “be a good sister” and help her out, even if it’s temporary. They argue it’s for family and I’m lucky to even have a car at my age.
But honestly, I’m worried she’ll be reckless with it and I’ll end up paying for repairs or dealing with insurance issues. I love my family, but I feel like I’m being pressured into something that could backfire on me. AITA for standing my ground on this?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
peakpenguins said:
NTA, and I bet your sister wouldn't be this insufferable if your parents didn't coddle her like this.
sfrancisch5842 said:
NTA. Since your parents are so concerned about sister, let THEM pay her fines to get her car out. After all “family helps family” and they literally created her.
Longwinded_Ogre said:
NTA. Don't lend cars to people. Period. They aren't books. They're cars.
JMarchPineville said:
NTA. “No, Amy, I need and use my car every day.” “Mom and dad, I’m glad to know y’all are supportive of Amy and won’t have any problem loaning her your car.”
Con4America said:
NTA. And what happens when she gets tickets in your car and it gets impounded? Tell your parents they can continue to enable her bad behavior but you will not. If she takes your car without permission, tell everyone that you will report it stolen and press charges. They can pay her fines but they are stupid for doing so. She bought her ticket on the FAFO train so let her ride it.
here4cmmts said:
NTA. She could pay her fines and get her car back…it’s more likely she will get your car impounded too.
whitewer said:
NTA, she isn't going to give the car back if you let her use it, and your parents won't help out. Make sure to keep your keys away from her, keep her off your insurance, and if she takes it, call the police.
richf3 said:
NTA, one of my friends was the reckless golden child and her younger siblings always paid the price. She totaled like 3 new vehicles and her younger sibling got forced into lending her her vehicle and she totaled that one too. Set your boundaries.
It’s a lot more than just borrowing because you’d have to out her on the insurance which with her history would raise your premium through the roof. Tell her to figure it out herself and hide your keys when your home and if there’s a spare, hide that as well.