Woman refuses to take her 6-year-old niece trick-or-treating, 'my family is furious.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to take my niece trick-or-treating even though my family is furious?"
For context, I live at home while going to college part-time and working. My older sister, “Emily” (26F), has a 6-year-old daughter, “Lily.” I love Lily, she’s great, but Emily has a habit of dumping her on me last-minute whenever she wants a break. This has been happening for years now, and no one in the family really questions it because, you know, “family helps family.”
So, a few days ago, Emily told me she couldn’t take Lily trick-or-treating this year because she and her boyfriend were going to some adult Halloween party. She just assumed I’d do it. I had already made plans with my friends to go out to a haunted house and watch horror movies, something we’ve been planning for weeks.
I told her no, that she should either take her daughter or figure something else out because I wasn’t available. Well, Emily freaked out, saying I was being selfish and that Lily would be heartbroken if she didn’t go. My mom backed her up, saying I should “step up as an aunt” because Lily looks up to me.
I tried explaining that I’m not a built-in babysitter and that I already had plans, but now my whole family is treating me like I’m some kind of monster for prioritizing my own life over my niece’s Halloween.
I feel guilty because I know Lily is excited about it, but I don’t think it’s fair that I’m expected to drop everything every time my sister needs a break. So, AITA for refusing to take her trick-or-treating, or am I really being selfish like my family says?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Mishy162 said:
NTA. But make sure you leave for your plans early or spend the day with a friend before going to your plans because it sounds like none of your family respect the fact you already have plans and if you are home you will find yourself alone with your niece.
Outside-Ad1720 said:
NTA. Not your responsibility. Your sister is the parent. She should be the one taking her out. Time to set much stricter boundaries with her. Be careful. She might try to leave her with you before you have a chance to leave. Don't let that happen.
Useful_Context_2602 said:
NTA. Your sister is her mother which means her daughter should come before any plans of her own.
RIhawk said:
NTA - my brother has 6 kids and has never asked me to take care of them. They’re using you and you get nothing in return. Don’t get me wrong you get to spend time with your niece, but that should be on your terms.
Sassy-Peanut said:
NTA - Why does your sister and BIL think their Halloween party is more important than yours when Lily is their child? It's not your priorities which are off kilter here - it's your sister's. Emily is her mother which seems to have been forgotten with pass-the-child everyone wants to play!
PatentlyRidiculous said:
NTA. You aren’t the parent. Bigger suggestion, move out of your parents house as this is going to be the reason they believe you have to do this