Woman refuses to give pregnant passenger her seat on the train; AITA?
Finding a seat on a crowded train or bus can be an extreme sport of evolutionary technique, especially when you have to take one for the team and give it up for a stranger who needs it more...
What happens, though, when a fellow sitter shames you for refusing to give up your seat for a pregnant person? So, when a frustrated public transportation rider decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet about an annoying encounter on the train, people were ready to roast them.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not giving a pregnant lady my seat?
I 24(F) caught a metro two days ago at 8 am after finishing a 10 hour over night work shift. All the metro seats were taken and there was a very obviously pregnant woman on board as well. She was about 7-8 months pregnant.
Normally I would offer a pregnant woman my seat as I myself have been pregnant before and when I was it was an absolute pain in the a#s to have to stand near the end. However there were many other able bodied people on the metro and I was extremely tired from work.
Now I think because I was the only woman in the area she felt more comfortable asking me for her seat. Everyone else around us was men.
When she did ask I politely told her no, and said I was extremely tired and just got off work and did not want to have to stand for 30+ minutes.
She was upset but understandable and walked away. The man next to me however decided to tell me I was an as$hole for not giving her my seat considering I was a woman and should be more willing to support and help other women.
I then told him to please f#ck off and give her his seat since he had so much to say. He called me rude and ignored me for the duration of the ride. So now reddit? Am I the as$hole for not giving this lady my seat?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...
AdAccomplished6870 said:
I find it stunning that someone else would, while sitting, criticize you for not giving up your seat.
Good4dGander said:
NTA. Every able bodied person that didn't jump up at the sight of that pregnant woman needing a seat is TA. Women should not be the default person to sacrifice comfort for others.
KathAlMyPal said:
ESH. Except the pregnant woman. Yes other people could have given up their seat but they didn’t. Is the guy who berated you an AH? Absolutely. Do we not do anything because other people could have and didn’t?
You were tired. I get that. But it wouldn’t have killed you. Sometimes doing the right thing isn’t the easy choice. We’re you obligated? No. Would it have been a kindness? Yes.
MauriciaBabilonia said:
ESH, except for the pregnant person. No, you're not obligated to give her a seat, but this is not 'Am I Legally in the Clear?' All the able-bodied people on that train who didn't give up their seat are the assholes, including you.
AMcNamara23 said
YTA. the guy next to you doesn't nullify your behaviour. I cannot believe the amount of votes supporting you in the replies. I'm assuming this is America because here, in London, there's a load of people who would jump up and offer their seat (assuming they look up from their phone), and certainly would not need to be asked.
She's heavily pregnant, and you've been on your feet 10 hours. Guess which hurts more? I gave up my seat to a pregnant lady on the way home after my first marathon! It's basic human decency, which you lack.
kdiddles1788 said:
YTA - and the guy next to you is an even bigger ass hole. The whole bus is full of a#s holes except the poor pregnant lady.
GullibleDiscipline80 said:
ESH except the pregnant woman.
So, there you have it...
The opinions were certainly mixed here, but one thing is certain: the pregnant woman is innocent. While some people thought that OP should've immediately gotten up, the hypocritical man shaming her definitely deserves even more of the blame.