Woman refuses to let high school bully be a bridesmaid even though she's her twin.
They say twins have a special bond. There have even been documentaries about how twins/triplets separated at birth have felt like a part of them was missing before unintentionally finding their twin.
Not every twin story seems to be this way. On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one woman would rather have nothing to do with her fraternal twin.
She writes:
I (25f) have a fraternal twin sister (twins that don't look the same), and I'm getting married next fall.
We were very close growing up until high school. She was an outgoing, bubbly cheerleader, and I was a shy nerdy bookworm, so she ditched me for the popular kids. She didn't actively pick on me, but she'd stand by with her head down and do nothing when they bullied me. She would talk to and hang out with me at home as if nothing was wrong, but when at school or the mall where kids at our school were likely to be seen, she didn't want to be seen with me.
When we turned sixteen, she had a big bash. Still, I didn't have any friends, so I didn't want to try and have a party; our parents were making her include me, but she discreetly offered me $100 to pretend I was sick; I took the money bc I didn't want to go to a party where I'd at best be ignored, or worse picked on.
We went to separate colleges across the country from each other, she tried to keep in touch, but I ignored her because I was traumatized by losing my sister/best friend. I would be polite to her at home during school breaks but kept her at arm's length.
Anyway, I don't want her to be a bridesmaid (let alone maid of honor, my parents thought it'd be a good 'compromise' to have her be a regular bridesmaid). My 'big' from my sorority will be my MOH, and my fellow 'littles' who had the same big will be my bridesmaids.
I reluctantly said she could be a guest at the wedding but not a bridesmaid (if it were entirely up to me, I wouldn't invite her at all, but that would cause more drama in my family than it's worth).
I told them, 'but what would other people think if she was seen with me?' She cried (she never apologized, she thinks because it was so long ago, I should let bygones be bygones because she was young and immature), and my parents agreed with her.
But I had to be in therapy for years because of her. Why should I have someone as a bridesmaid who thinks they're better than me? AITA?
The internet is here for twin drama.
DinaFelice says:
I would say this to her if I were you: 'I agree that you were young and immature. And you still are. If you felt bad about your actions, you would be sorry about the pain they caused me, and you would be happy to apologize.
Goodness knows there are things from my past that I'm ashamed of and apologize for... If I thought my prior actions were still causing someone pain, I would do my best to make it right. You disagree. That's fine--you are an adult and can make your own decisions. But that means we don't share the same values.
And if we don't share fundamental values, why would you even want to be my bridesmaid? How can you support me in my future life if we can't even agree on the basics? Regardless, I'm done having this conversation: you are not close enough to me to be a bridesmaid. Anyone who knows us will not be surprised by this.
Anyone who is surprised by this doesn't know us well enough that we should care about their opinion. NTA (Not the A**hole). The people standing next to you on your special day should be the people you feel supported by.
Neither-Parfait7795 says:
NTA, honestly, if you are in therapy, be strict with your parents and tell them she is uninvited. Is it worth it to have someone like that on your happiest day? In my opinion, offer her 100$ to say she was sick and not come.
Voidg says:
NTA. She is attending as a guest. That's all, end of the story. The fact she is crying and trying to manipulate the situation without realizing how poorly she treated you growing up and to this day not having a strong relationship with you does not give her a trump card to be a bridesmaids because of 'DNA'.
I wouldn't invite my high school bullies to my wedding even if they were my family.