Woman replaces friend's $70 novelty pillow with thrift store version, 'you're being a brat.' AITA?

"AITA for replacing my friend’s throw pillow with a thrifted identical version?"

So my (24F) friend “Wendy” (23F) just got a new apartment. She’s the first of our friend group to get an apartment, so everyone is really excited and Wendy wants it to be the main place we all go to hang out. Wendy threw a party this past Friday, just a small get together with our friend group and some of Wendy’s cousins.

After a few hours, we were all pretty drunk, including me. I accidentally spilled my wine on one of her throw pillows. I tried to wash it out, but no luck. Of course, I offered to replace the pillow and Wendy sent me the link to where she bought it. It was SEVENTY DOLLARS for a tiny little carrot pillow.

I told her I would definitely replace it, but I would probably have to wait for a few weeks for my next check because that eats into my gas money. She seemed a little pissy and I felt bad.

Yesterday, my other friends wanted to go thrifting for their Halloween costumes. I already got mine, but wanted to tag along. I thought it was my lucky day because at one of the thrift stores was the exact pillow! Like the very same one with the tag from the store and everything.

The thrift store was selling it for twelve dollars, so I got it because it was cheaper and now Wendy would be able to have her complete living room quicker than we thought.

Fast forward a couple hours and we all go over to Wendy’s to show her the Halloween haul and I present her with the pillow. First she was happy, but then she was like “How are you gonna get to work?” I explained that I found it at a thrift store and she threw it at me and acted all grossed out.

Now I’m confused because we all go thrifting all the time, including Wendy. But Wendy was like, “I don’t buy soft furnishings at the thrift store.” I offered to wash it and bring it back, but she said no and still demanded that I buy the one from the actual store. I said no, I would wash the thrifted pillow for her, but I’m not buying a pillow for seventy dollars.

She said it was my fault for spilling wine in the first place and said I was “too clumsy to live.” Then I said for someone who wants to host parties, you’re being a big brat about a little spill.

We left it at that, but I left a few minutes later because I could tell Wendy was really annoyed at me. Now the friend group is taking sides and one of my friend’s girlfriend told me that now there’s a group chat that doesn’t have me or Wendy in it called “The Pillow Crisis of 2024” where everyone is arguing who is in the right.

I did wash the pillow and gave it to my friend to give it to Wendy, but apparently she refused to put it on her couch and it now resides in the floor pillow pile. So, AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

steponme2021 said:

I’m going to say YTA. Not a big one just a barely TA. I only say this because she did spend $70. She’s upset because she bought stuff brand new to furnish her apartment.

I get you found a slightly used one to replace it but it was new like her new apartment and new beginning. I’m not going to lie I would have the same reaction. Why should she have to forfeit her brand new pillow for a random used one from a thrift store. Like I said barely the a-hole.

SubjectBuilder3793 said:

ESH. You should never have told her. You replaced in good faith. If it was in good repair there was no reason to spend$70 on a f**ing carrot pillow. You should have realized that someone who spends that much on a wierd little thing, isn't going to be reasonable about your shortcut.

ActuatorInfinite8329 said:

NTA. It's not about the pillow. It's about the money. Wendy is mad that you didn't have to pay full price and/or that you aren't suffering/punished enough for your terrible crime lol.

If the replacement pillow is visibly clean, odor-free and in the same condition as the original pillow before the spill, she doesn't have a leg to stand on. Further, having the store tag still attached strongly suggests the replacement is unused. You held up your end. Her petty emotions about it aren't actually your problem.

CuriousEmphasis7698 said:

YTA. You ruined her expensive throw pillow, accidentally, but still. She has every right to expect that you will replace it with a brand-new pillow, not a used item from a thrift store. I can understand her concern about 'soft items' because they can house pests such as bedbugs, and they are difficult to clean thoroughly.

lickmysackett said:

YTA. You break it you buy it. Having a hard no on soft goods from thrift stores is a reasonable (and hygienic) rule. Having tags doesn't mean it wasn't used, it just means it wasn't washed.

Littlepotatoface said:

Yeah, YTA. Soft furnishings from thrift stores are gross. And you’re kind of shaming her about how much the pillow cost, that’s not cool.

Silent_Meet_4732 said:

NTA. Once we become adults and invite people into our homes and give them red wine, we become responsible for ACCIDENTS that may happen. Even if some of our friends are habitually clumsy. Good for you offering to clean the pillow and if this isn’t good enough just say oops sorry This is a ridiculous hill for your friend to die on lol