Woman ruins best friend's bachelorette party when she invites 'Emily,' 'I'm seriously shocked the bride is upset.' AITA? UPDATED 2X

When this woman is asked to plan her bet friend's bachelorette party, she asks the internet:

"AITA for Calling Off My Best Friend’s Bachelorette Party?"

So here’s the situation: I (28F) am in charge of planning my best friend Sarah’s (29F) bachelorette party. Sarah is getting married in a few months, and I really want to make it special for her. We’ve been best friends since college, and I want her to have an amazing time.

I planned a weekend getaway to a beach house, complete with spa treatments, a wine tasting, and a fun night out. I even invited some of her close friends and family, making sure to include everyone she wanted.

The problem? One of the guests, Emily (30F), is someone Sarah had a falling out with a few years back. Emily and Sarah were super close, but a major disagreement over a guy led to a huge fight, and they haven’t spoken since.

When I invited Emily, I thought maybe it would be good for them to clear the air and reconnect before the wedding. Sarah, however, was NOT happy when I told her. She said she didn’t want to see Emily at all and that it would ruin the whole vibe of the weekend. I tried to reassure her, but she was adamant about not wanting Emily there.

After some back and forth, I ultimately decided to uninvite Emily because I didn’t want to create unnecessary drama for Sarah’s big weekend. This was a tough call for me, and I felt bad about it. I sent Emily a message explaining the situation, and she was understandably hurt.

Before we give you OP's 2 updates, let's read some top comments:

faghweo writes:

I really feel for you, but I think YTA in this situation. Your heart was in the right place, wanting to bring Sarah and Emily back together, but the timing and setting were completely off.

Weddings and bachelorette parties are such emotional events, and introducing someone who has caused tension in the past can create unnecessary stress. Sarah clearly expressed her feelings about Emily, and by inviting her anyway, you disregarded her boundaries.

It’s not just about trying to fix things; it’s about honoring your friend’s needs during a time that should be joyous for her. I get that you might have wanted to play the peacemaker, but sometimes the best support you can offer is to simply listen and respect your friend's wishes.

I hope you can learn from this experience and focus on rebuilding that trust with Sarah.

gapo writes:

I can see both sides, but I lean toward NTA. You were genuinely trying to create a meaningful experience for your best friend, and it’s clear you care about her happiness. However, it’s also essential to recognize that you may have misjudged the situation with Emily.

Relationships can be tricky, especially when past conflicts are involved, and you should have been more aware of how Sarah felt. It sounds like you were caught in the middle of a complicated friendship dynamic, which can happen.

It might be worth discussing things further with Sarah to see if there’s a way to rebuild that connection without forcing it. Maybe the focus should shift from trying to mend fences now to allowing time for healing first. In the end, just being there for her might be what she needs most.

frest writes:

"I can’t help but feel for both you and Sarah. YTA, but not for trying to do something good; it’s about how you went about it. The intention to include everyone is admirable, but when you’re dealing with sensitive relationships, especially around significant life events, it’s crucial to tread carefully.

It sounds like you might have let your desire to fix things cloud your judgment regarding Sarah’s feelings. Friendships have layers, and sometimes people need space to heal.

You might have thought you were being supportive, but by going against her wishes, you’ve created a situation where she feels sidelined on what should be her day. I hope you can both find a way to communicate openly about this and work toward rebuilding trust."

kaglhyert writes:

Honestly, this is a tough situation, and I understand both sides, but I have to say YTA. You were trying to create a perfect weekend for Sarah, but you overlooked how past conflicts can resurface in high-stress situations like a wedding.

Sarah’s feelings about Emily should have been your priority, especially since it’s her bachelorette party. While it’s great to want to bring people together, sometimes it’s just not the right time.

You’ve now created a divide not just between yourself and Sarah, but also among your mutual friends. This is a learning moment for you, and I hope you can reflect on how to better support your friends in the future. It’s not about fixing every relationship; sometimes, it’s more about being present for the ones that matter most.

And now, OP's updates:

Update 1: After I uninvited Emily, I found out that she went ahead and shared the whole story with a group of mutual friends. She framed it as me being a terrible friend for “picking sides” and not supporting her. I wasn’t trying to take sides; I genuinely thought I was helping by inviting her.

But now, several people in our circle have started siding with Emily, saying that I overstepped and should have respected Sarah’s feelings from the beginning. It feels like I’m being painted as the villain here, and it’s really hurtful.

I’ve tried to explain my intentions to some friends, but they seem to think I’m just trying to stir up drama. It’s frustrating to see friendships start to shift over this, especially when I was only trying to create a special experience for Sarah.

Update 2: To make matters worse, Sarah is now considering a smaller, more private celebration without me entirely. She mentioned wanting to keep things low-key and only invite her family and a couple of close friends, effectively leaving me out of the planning process altogether.

This really stings because I’ve put so much effort into planning the weekend and genuinely wanted her to have an unforgettable time. It feels like everything I did to try to make her happy has backfired completely.

I even overheard her talking to another friend about how she didn’t want to deal with any more drama, which makes me feel like I’m the source of that drama. I never wanted this to escalate to the point where I’d be excluded from her special moments.

Now I’m questioning everything: was I wrong for trying to bring Emily in? Should I have just listened to Sarah from the start? AITA for trying to plan a bachelorette party that included everyone, or should I have respected Sarah’s wishes from the beginning?