Woman shares disturbing saga; 'Something happened between my husband and best friend.' UPDATED

When this woman is concerned about her husband, she asks the internet:

"Something happened between my 37F husband 39M and best friend 36F. What do I do now?"

I think this is the right sub but if not, I’m sorry. I can’t think straight right now. We (37F 39M) have been together for 15 years married for 12 and we have 4 kids.

We’ve always had a wonderful loving relationship and have both been amazing partners to each other. My mom is not doing well healthwise and I flew out to her with our youngest on Friday morning and we will be flying back tomorrow night.

A few hours ago, my best friend called me crying and said that she got into a major fight with her husband after she found he cheated and asked if she could come over.

She had forgotten that I wasn’t in town and I talked to her for a little while and tried to calm her down. I also called my husband explaining the situation and asked if it was okay for my best friend to spend the night in our guest room and he was fine with it.

I took our iPad with me to keep our youngest entertained while at my parents place. It is logged into my husband’s apple id email so his messages and calls show up on it. When I went to put it on charge I saw tons of messages from my best friend to my husband.

I found it strange since they were supposed to be under the same roof and I knew it was wrong to snoop but I ended up reading the messages anyway. Long story short, something happened between them, my husband kicked her out and my best friend wants to keep whatever it is a secret but my husband says that I deserve to know.

I don’t what to do or think now and I have no one I can talk to about this. What am I supposed to do now?

Before we give you OP's update, let's take a look at some top responses:

TheBoss6200

Atleast he wants to tell you about it.You should call him and ask him what it is that you deserve to know.It might just be that she made a move on him and he got mad and kicked her out but contact him now.

Grimwohl

Same. She's just been cheated on, and she likely wanted revenge, but in her distress, she picked the nearest man to her, just made more of a mess of her life. Completely valid reason to cut her out.

Also, if OP values the friendship, she has room to be understanding without looking foolish since her husband is loyal. She 100% owes him a huge high five.

I would personally understand and forgive, but keep her at arms length for years, if not forever. Just because I understand doesn't mean I'm gonna give you access to my personal life again. About the husband.

Yes, loyalty is expected and mandatory. No, that doesn't mean that most people wouldn't take low hanging fruit if offered. He isn't like most. That itself deserves acknowledgment since you saw it in practice before your eyes.

Having verifiable proof your partner won't play you even if they reasonably could get away with it is worthy of celebration. Not necessarily because he deserves a treat, but because you now know you are truly safe with your back turned.

If he kissed her or smth then he can go get fd tho.

kkeeii writes:

Sounds like she tried to put the moves on her husband. Then being a good husband, he kicked her out. Now that ops husband rejected her, she wants to act like it was just a mistake that no one needs to know about. I hope op tells her off then never speaks to her again.

Op was nice enough to invite her into her home while she was going through heartbreak. She even trusted her alone with her own husband. All for her friend to try to get ops husband to cheat with her.

I don't care what she's going through that is 100% bullshit. I personally think she needs her ass beat to try to do something like that to the person who was there for you and opened their own home to you in your time of need.

I'm sure that won't happen, so the least she needs to do is tell her off and cut her off. I'd even let mutual friends know what she tried to do. That way they know not to even trust her around their husbands. What a fuckin horrible woman. Ugh.

quenarelia writes:

I agree with others that it sounds like your friend tried to sleep with your husband and he rejected her. I wouldn’t confront him about seeing the messages yet. I would wait to see if there are more messages just to confirm what happened.

Call him just to check in and ask if friend is still there and see what he says. If everyone is correct, you need to end your friendship immediately. I don’t care how upset she is, trying to sleep with her best friend’s husband is unforgivable. If she wants revenge se%, she needs to find a single guy.

aghuy123 writes:

This is the best outcome you could have gotten fir a situation like this. Be grateful that you have a wonderful loving husband that will never betray you so cruelly and shut it down the moment she tried anything. So that is definitely something to be happy about.

I'm sure you feel bad for your friend right now, but in reality you got rid of a snake. I don't care what she was going through, trying to betray you by getting your husband to cheat on you with her and destroy your family is absolutely disgusting and there is absolutely no excuse for something so horrible.

I'm glad you have referred to her as your former friend. Please do not let the fact that you feel bad for her and her situation cause you to soften and let her back in your life. Do not let her manipulate you into taking her back as a friend. What she did was unforgivable and she should be ashamed of herself.

Doing something that was going to break your heart and ruin your family after all you tried to do was be there for her. Only someone incredibly cruel would even think about doing something so disgusting to a true friend.

You do not want such a vile person in your life. She can be sad all she wants, she did this to herself by trying to destroy you and your family. So be happy she is out your life and will not be able to attempt to stab you in the back ever again. Now you can go be with your amazing husband and enjoy your family. I'm happy this is the outcome of your post.

croptwo writes:

Is there an update? It's been almost 24 hrs since post. I hope you waited til you were home face to face to say anything or see if your husband does say something. If he doesn't, that's when you should tell him.

If he does, you could also tell him you saw and you're proud of him for telling you. At the same time, it doesn't seem like you really know what actually went on with them. Shame tf on your so called BFF. Her husband did it and she thinks it's OK? Wtf? Or was this something that happened before? Was she even telling the truth about her husband?

How does your BFF not know you weren't in town?
And how do you know some messages weren't deleted? (Not tying to cause doubt just looking from all sides)

And now, OP's update:

You guys were right. I wanted to have the conversation face to face and waited till I got back a few hours ago. We talked after we had dinner and all the kids went to bed.

After my now former friend showered and freshened up, my husband gave her leftovers from dinner and they talked about her husband and the situation with her husband and out of nowhere she tried to sit in his lap and tried kissing him and my husband pushed her off and she tried again and told her that she had to leave.

My husband admitted that he was tempted to call me late last night but didn't want to add more to my plate while I was with my mom and wanted to physically be there when he told me.

I have talked to her since and she is back at her place and her husband is not there. She has been very apologetic and is saying that she wasn't in the right headspace and made a mistake trying something with my husband and is begging me to not break apart our friendship.

To be honest, I feel bad for her but she knows how much I love my husband and my family and she was willing to ruin everything and I can't forgive that or rationalize it.