Woman shares disturbing tale about her life long best friend; 'She threw away my meds.' AITA? UPDATED

"OP's best friend threw away her anxiety meds."

I (18F) and my lifelong best friend, Emily (18F), share a dorm at college. For back story, I started having really bad panic attacks when I was ten after my parents died. My brother, Dylan (32M), took me to a psychiatrist, and I was diagnosed with GAD and put on Prozac.

I have taken it ever since, and I have occasional panic attacks, but it's been a life saver. Emily has stood by me through all of it, but she never liked the medication. She was raised extremely Christian, as opposed to my agnostic upbringing, and thinks I just need to repent and ask God's forgiveness.

Now, I'm pretty good at just ignoring that, since I trust my therapist and doctor. However, since we've gotten to college, she has been looking at me weird and making snide remarks every morning when I take my medication.

She has asked me not to take it in front of her, and I try to do it when she's in the bathroom, but she insists that she can hear the pills rattling. It has caused tension, but I never thought she would do what she did.

Thursday afternoon, I was feeling restless, and went into the city with my girlfriend, Eva (18F) (Emily thinks we're just friends). We had a great time, but Emily kept texting and calling even when I insisted everything was okay.

I'm usually okay with her being so over protective because of an incident when I was 14, but I just wanted to be with Eva, so I told her I'd call if anything happened and turned off my phone.

A couple hours later, I got back to the dorm, and Emily screamed at me for having my phone off, and threatened to call my brother and SIL. I apologized, because I didn't want her to call and worry them. She accused me of not having morals anymore, and I just didn't say anything and went to bed.

Friday morning, I was getting ready, and found that all my pills were missing. I asked her about it, and she said "You don't need drugs, you need to pray," and said she had flushed them.

I lost my temper and told her that I need my medication to function properly, and that she had no right to do that. I had to go all day without it, and was a complete disaster. I had to step out of a chemistry lab because I felt so bad. It was about time to replace the prescription anyway, so I did that, and I'm hiding it in my backpack.

However, Emily is demanding an apology for how I yelled at her, and her boyfriend agrees with her completely. Eva, Dylan, SIL, and our other friends think I'm completely right and should be angrier.

I don't know. We've been friends for so long, I feel like if I don't apologize it'll all be over and the rest of freshman year will be so awkward. I know she'll hold a grudge for a while. I shouldn't have shut off my phone, but she knew where I was (she has my snapmap location) and that I wasn't alone. I just want it all to blow over. This whole Saturday has been tense and weird.

Edit: btw for everyone who thinks I'm not going to report this, it's the middle of the night and I'm staying at a friend's apartment. I'm going to report it asap, but I'm going to take at least tonight to be around people who aren't like that. Otherwise, thank you for all the kind words <3

Another Edit: I know this isn't the norm for Christianity! Most Christians I know would never do what she did.

Before we give you OP's update, let's take a look at some top responses:

fagsou writes:

NTA - you're not taking Prozac to have a good time. You're taking it be able to function but.... I'm curious. You said you started having the panic attacks at 10, and she says you don't need the meds and just need to pray for God's forgiveness.

What in her mind do you do at 10 years old that you would need to pray for God's forgiveness for and were instead being given panic attacks for not properly repenting? That's some BS right there. I just can't with that. Talk to your RA and see if there's a way to move out. I had a situation with an awful roommate way back when in college and ended up moving into an emergency room.

The fact that she's messing with your meds makes it unsafe for you to stay there and they should recognize that. I am afraid of what her next steps will be when she realizes you're still taking it.

freeaaap writes:

NTA. And this girl is not your friend. She flushed your medication - frankly unforgivable. Even if you wanted to come off it, you can'y just go cold turkey with most psychiatric medication. Withdrawals are hell. And you don't even want to come off it. What she did to you was actually medically dangerous, and you should be more angry about it!

You have to hide your sexuality and girlfriend from her. If you can't be honest about stuff like that with her, she's not actually a real friend.

Also, yelling at you for turning your phone off. Controlling much? That's not how normal friends behave.

Do not apologise. Let this friendship die. You're legitimately better off alone than with this headcase trying to control where you go, how you act, and your medical issues. You cannot trust her anymore, she's actively dangerous to your health. Run, don't walk, away!

griept writes:

When you've been involved in a friendship for a long time, it's really hard to tell when things get toxic. This person is not your friend, simply because she was for a long time growing up. She's walking all over to the point of negatively impacting your health.

You've slowly handed her bits of control of your life until she thinks she can micromanage how you spend your time, contact you multiple times when you're out, threaten to sick your family on you and then make ugly judgmental comments when you return at a decent hour, even going so far as questioning your morals.

And after she had crazy time at your expense, what did you do? You APOLOGIZED to HER???!!!???!!! She bullied you and walked all over your basic human rights and you just apologized. That's really messed up.

What right does she have to approve or disapprove of your mental health care? She's got you sneaking around and quietly trying to take your medication because she doesn't approve of something that's got nothing to do with her in the first place.

Friends don't shame friends for needing antianxiety medication prescribed by an actual doctor or take it upon themselves to flush the medicine down the toilet and tell you to just pray. This woman is so far out of control that it's not even funny.

She's acting this way because you haven't brought her up HARD. Why is so difficult for you to set clear boundaries and enforce them with this supposed friend.

I don't know where you think this friendship is going in the future. I'd let her know loud and clear that you're not interested in being her friend anymore and tell her exactly why. You don't owe her anything.

Now is a fantastic time to do it because if your family kicks up a fuss you can just tell them that she independently decided you no longer needed your prescription medication and flushed them behind your back, telling you to pray instead. This is your best chance of getting rid of her without your family dropping down on you about it. Strike while the iron is hot.

heahshel writes:

NTA and you need a new friend/roommate. Unfortunately my sister has had a similar situation.

She shifted to another country and is rooming with her childhood friend/neighbour from next door to where we grew up and it’s been tough. We lost our father recently and our grandmother soon after. My mom developed covid and then a series of health problems. Mom is fine now but she used to get anxiety attacks.

Then my sister started getting them too. And my sister was depressed as well. I helped her find a therapist to talk to on zoom, paid for it and got her some homeopathic meds and she was doing well mostly.

Her roommate, N, was just horrid to her and not at all empathetic to what she was going through. N kept telling my sister that she was having “boy troubles” and worrying too much about it when the last thing in my sister’s mind was about a guy. She was just severely depressed.

My sister realised talking to N was pointless and she felt so alone being in a completely different country with no one to turn to. My mom and I FaceTime her every day (and we do now also.) A couple of weeks ago, my sister had 3-4 panic attacks in a couple of hours and was also feeling depressed.

Still she couldn’t turn to her roommate because she felt no support there. I never felt more helpless. I wanted my sister to get out of that apartment because she was stuck in bed all day feeling miserable. Of all the people to turn to, my sister texted her boss’s wife (we’re distantly related to her) and both boss and wife drove immediately to pick her up.

They took her to a local clinic where they gave her some medicine for her anxiety and attacks and they insisted my sister stay with them for a couple of days. They took her out for drinks and basically cheered her up In every way they could. My sister is doing so much better now. She’s just waiting for her lease to get down so she can find another roommate.

And now, OP's update:

So, after my last post, I requested a room change and reported the her to campus police. Emily was put on academic probation, and I moved to a new room (my new roommate could not care less, and is clean, so it’s a win).

Over Christmas break, I came out to my brother and SIL (supportive!) and cut contact with Emily. My brother and SIL agreed to do the same. She yelled at me, but I was too done with her to care, and besides a few stares, she hasn’t said a word.I’ve learned a lot about myself in these past few months.

I found out that the friends I’ve had for a few months already are more supportive than she was. Eva and I even told them about our relationship, and they were actually happy, which surprised me (I’m not sure why). Honestly, I feel like I stepped out of a fog. I didn’t know I could be happy, or feel okay. I didn’t realize how much it hurt to try and live my life to not get preached at.

Thank you to all the people who left sweet words and sent messages. I probably would have just let everything go back to normal otherwise, and nobody wants that!